"Need is oppressive to the heart;
yet often it proves a source of help and salvation
to the children of men, to everyone who heeds it betimes.” - Anglo-Saxon Rune Poem.
Nauthiz has been churning in my thoughts and weighing on my heart lately, and the contemplation of it has helped me be more open to the message.
I am doing an unpaid internship for this year, essentially a full-time job with courses and homework, and yet life (read: bills) doesn’t magically get easier when we lack resources.
So I feel need, often and deeply. And I’m uncomfortable with it, as I assume most are.
Because I’ve been in need, those around me have shown me generosity and kindness in ways that have surprised me. I’ve been humbled by those people, and I’m grateful in a way that I have never experienced before.
I’m also becoming more disciplined and resourceful. Any free time away from my internship or my family is normally spent creating art, since I might be able to gain some funds from the work. I’ve been producing more art than ever, and in my opinion, I’ve become a better artist during this time. I’m finding creative ways to cut costs and realizing things I “needed” were unnecessary. I’m discovering some of my truths about need versus want.
Because I need, I am learning greater humility.
Because I need, I am pushing myself harder.
Because I need, I am improving.
Suddenly, Nauthiz doesn’t feel so terrible. It feels like growth.