life is hard, right? you can have bad years, months, weeks, days, hours, minutes, seconds. this has been what i call a bad weekend. four days of emotions, arguments, and a lot of pain that i have no explanation for.
in the past two years i joined tumblr and it really changed my life, and it brought me closer with this girl, katie runningwithmisha (k8e to me). i never expected in a million years that i would ever become such good friends with her. i confided in her and she confided in me, and on august 10, 2012 i told her that i had never had a best friend before, to which she replied that she'd be my best friend and i'd be hers.
in my book, just volunteering to be my best friend is enough to make me float in happiness, but katie has been the true definition of a best friend. she's been the closest friend i've had in a long time and when i'm having a bad day, good day, or just a day, talking to her always makes me super happy. we have tons of inside jokes. she draws for me and keeps me entertained and i write fic for her. she's the funny one and i'm the sappy one.
she puts up with me even when i don't wanna put up with myself. sure, i get jealous all the time and i have to overcome that, but she understands even if i want her to get pissed every once in a while. she does the thing no one else has ever done with me and gets me to blab about myself nonstop without feeling self conscious about it.
and on september 2, 2013 i told her about my dreams and one thing i was afraid of and i made it sound like not a big deal but she still sent me quote "if we look to another for our dreams they may never become our own" and obviously when i see a beautiful quote i have to look it up and it was a song by a band that i know she loves so obviously i listened to the song...
music gets me emotional no matter what, and beautiful music does it even more so. so i'm sitting there downloading the song and listening to it and sobbing tears of joy without understanding why.
i don't know. it just feels like when katie sent me that song...maybe i'm being a little too sappy...maybe i'm looking way too into it.
when k8e sent me that song, it kinda felt like she was singing it to me? like she was telling me those things in that song.
i will never be able to explain it well enough.
for the first time in a long time i felt friendship.