Eggies Freak Me Out
You know what I love eating? Meat. I like protein. I like milk... but seriously, what the heck are eggs in all this?
I love eating eggs dude, they can be prepared in like a bazillion ways and they're still awesome. A nice hearty egg in the morning helps me with getting my protein's daily value up, and that I think is great, especially for dietary reasons. But like, what are eggs?
They come out of the butts of birdies, and they're supposed to be like, the shell of their nurturing children, so like, what freak decided to grab a kid and just kinda eat its membrane?
It's kinda like the whole "who on Earth decided it would be a good idea to invent drinking cow's milk" thing, y'know? "Ah yeah I wanna yank those cow tubes." In spite of all this, are eggs even dairy? They have like, calcium, and they're strongly related to feeding/birthing young lil' animals, but I don't often hear much about their connection to dairy. Again, like the Secret Dorito blog, there's prolly a solid reason why, but I wanna throw objective truth out the window again as to present an uneducated Box talking about eggs. They're not dairy because they TOOK AWAY THEIR KIDS. NOBODY LEFT FOR HYPOTHETICAL MILK (not to imply that birds have milk. Birds don't have milk. Birds DON'T have milk. I REALLY HOPE THEY DON'T HAVE MILK).
So I have this one friend who raises these quails right? Cutest things, love 'em. When I asked him if they somehow reproduce, he responded that the eggs they produce can't possibly hatch into new quails, though he has bought fertilised eggs before.
Oh my GOD I have no idea how this works and I'm probably really stupid but like IMAGINE HAVING YOUR NUTS FULLY INTACT BUT THEY JUST KINDA DON'T WORK. What have we done to these poor birds, man...
Humanity has given us the egg. Stolen from birds, put into cartons, and sold at grocery stores. Husks of what could've been...
That egg you ate this morning could've been this fella right here... could have, couldn't it... but they stole it. They STOLE THIS LIL DUDE. And now? We eat the yolky wet slime that their hypothetical mother produced.
Not even, we don't just eat it... no, we SCRAMBLE IT. WE FRY IT. WE FOLD THEIR GUTS AROUND. WE DRINK IT. WE SLATHER THEIR UNBORN GUTS IN TO BOWLS AND THROW THEM INTO PANS. We are mangling these un-beings in the name of the Ancient Dark Chicken gods in the form of a sacrifice of flesh... dear God...
As if we haven't disgraced the Chicken gods enough, we even put our own DNA into these eggs and make disgusting egg creatures. Have you guys seen that? The internet hoax of the Russian dude who injected his man-milk into an egg and kept it warm for a few days, then cracked it and some alien-looking thing came out? I just remember the bit where the homonculus thing spat at him, proceeded by "BLYAT" as the dude smashes the thing with a bible.
Who the hell does that dude? We steal the eggs from the birds, then we INJECT OUR OWN DNA?!
But man I love me some bacon n' eggies though
Here's a thing btw
