Box's Thing: Daily Dose of Box (lol)

Where the thoughts, rambles 'n vents of Box go. Mostly a funny blog, but I may be a lil' personal from time to time.

[sillyman-justgoofy]

not a big fan of AI but this is a top 10 video of all time for me

[bigbox141]

hi bosx

HELLOOOOO! Yeah I'm alive. Maybe.

Haven't been posting a fair bit since a bunch of crazy stuff happened in my life and that hasn't been too fun... :(

Once I find that motivation to come back, I think I will. That'd be funny, I think.

[bigbox141]

Just woke up, what'did'I'miss

Hiiii~

So like, yeah, I went missing for a few months. What happened? Well, nothing really... Okay that might be a lie.

SO, I'm a 19 year old Canadian lad, tryna figure out how to *actually* get into college/uni. There's a start for ya! Figuring out school is a real nuisance honestly. But, I think I'll get around to it.

SO TWO, THE SEQUEL, I was working at a farm over the summer! It was a buncha fun, here are some pictures:

Pretty wee cosmos we planted. I think these ones are Double-Click.

I don't quite remember which these were, I think they were a squash.

Some school-kids came to see the farm and they left this lil' guy in one of the gardens. He's jammin'.

Here's some of the lettuce from our mix bags.

Grasshopper friend! Unfortunately, the lil' fella was harming our crops, so I safely took them in a ventilated bag to the nearby forest. Wonder how they're doin'.

Working at the farm was AMAZING. Unfortunately, the contract was only for the summer, so I hope to see them again next year. Friggin' government grant were super strict about my employment schedule/pay.

After that, haven't done much other than work on some projects with my mates on Discord. We're working on this huge WWE roster where we have online friends, notorious/infamous figures, video game characters, celebrities and film/television characters duking it out in a huge Royal Rumble, Jerma style. It's been in development for a really long time, but it's almost ready! I'll probably be streaming it on YouTube soon. If that happens, I'll leave a link here to whom it may interest.

Another thing I've been looking into is faith and ideology. Since I was a child, I've been struggling with religious views and a lack of connection, though I believe I've probably found something to believe in. It's not something I'd rather talk about, not yet, as I'm not a full-convert or a worshipper or anything yet, though I thought I should prolly put it out there in my list of random things I've been doing. I don't seek an origin story for the meaning of anything, I'd just like words to live by, y'feel me?

Oooh! I made a wiki where I catalogue the stuff that happens on my Discord! I know a lot of things seem to get back to it, though I'm very proud of my wee community and what stuff we do there. It brings me joy. :)

In fact, yeah, I think there's your reason: I've been occupied with my Discord. My attention span only really homes in on one thing at a time usually, but when I put my mind to something right n' proper, I can get more than one thing done at a time.

But yeah, you might see some more stuff from me soon!

... key word, might. Still tryna organise myself here...

[bigbox141]

R

r

I'm bored and have been out of ideas for like a week lol

But I've had an idea lately that could be interesting and I might share progress on it if I go through with it.

Also Ghosty is on hiatus for the foreseeable future as I no longer possess GameMaker Studio (left the team I was previously working with). I've heard good things about Godot though...

Yeah I sWEAR there's more coming down the pipeline. I've been playing a lotta Papa's Pancakeria and that game gave me a most brilliant idea.

[bigbox141]

Another Update on Tumblr Scheduling

'ello! I realise that this week I've been very inactive for my supposed "daily posting schedule," so I thought I should just drop in to explain that this week, and the upcoming week, have been a bit busy. Be it addictions to games (lol), recent employment issues, and lots of birthdays in the family around this time, I certainly can't catch much of a break! (Well, I can, since its in part due to gaming, hee hee)

I'll be breaking away from the whole bi-weekly schedule to bring posts for next week to make up for my absence. Not that this is some kinda, obligation to the readers, its moreso just a way for me to get used to working on a fixed schedule after a few months of unemployment since my last job. Speakin' of, I've been job hunting and I might land a spot at an interesting spot, so I'll prolly be a bit beat by the time I get to Tumblr for a while but WE'LL SEE.

So yeah, see you lot in the next post. And I PROMISE that the next episode of BT won't involve cheese. I hope... y'know, maybe I should name the next post Cheese Thoughts EP5: The Bathroom Strikes Back.

[bigbox141]

Bathroom Thoughts EP4: Revenge of the Cheese

Argh, I was a day late wasn't I?

Hello again Tumblr! It is I, Boxman, Biggeth 141. Back from my week off, I shall bestow yet another bathroom thought. What's on the docket this time? Cheese.

takin me dump smells like swiss innit

So I'm sitting there, thinking as I do, cleaning out the basement, when I have a random thought: Cheese. Cheese, again. Why does it always come back to cheese?

sometimes i dream about cheese

Now, this thought isn't some odd motif that so happens to commence upon seating with the average toilet, no; This thought derives from recent memory wherein I was playing some games with the lads and we came across a peculiar game.

Y'all know Roblox, right? Live service kid-friendly framework for making games n' all that? It's got a pretty odd culture surrounding it, especially due to its demographic, though I tend to visit it often to see what interesting games have been made using the platform. A lot of the games are weird, such as the illustrious "SHREK: The Force Awakens" (yes, it was this game that I borrowed the namesake from for Bathroom Thoughts EP1, not the Star Wars film). But among those weird games, a good lad of mine found something that a friend of his was playing.

A horror game about a cheese corridor where you escape a giant mouse. Everything was cheese. The collectables, a la Slender, were cheese. The walls, were cheese. To start the game? You had to click on a cheese-wheel 30 times, each time emitting a sound effect of someone muttering "Cheeeese."

My friend very quickly became tired of this game and wanted to leave, but just as we were heading out, we began finding these actually rather compelling liminal spaces hidden behind keys scattered across the map. Like some, Backrooms + Yume-Nikki kinda stuff going on with lamps everywhere and empty rooms.

The game ended with a road where you just kinda walked down and the mouse would jumpscare you. Weirdly enough, I was so disillusioned by how odd the game was, that my guard was down and it actually startled me a bit. Despite that, I came out of it with a curious thought: "why does everything become cheese eventually?"

This is far from a first. Whenever there's a framework, there should be a timer to see how quickly a game is modified to incorporate cheese to some extent. Among these games, I find it odd that in spite of having its very own bread mod, that Cookie Clicker has yet to have a cheese mod. But you know what does have a cheese mod? Call of Duty Zombies. Huh?

(screenshotted from CustomZombies)

This is Cheese Cube Unlimited. It's a sequel to a cheese themed one-room map called Cheese Cube, now designed around a cylindrical rising corridor. Notorious for being one of the most difficult custom zombies maps in Call of Duty: World at War, it combines elements from the Black Ops games that would long succeed WaW, with cheese, cheese, and more cheese. It had everything, greasy oil slowly rising for some reason that would just kill you upon touching it, cheese-based parkour, and cheesy zombies coming at you as you fire at them with cheese-upgraded weapons and cheesy perks.

Yeah, that's a lot of cheese. There's more, though:

The next (official) generation of Call of Duty modding came in the form of Black Ops 3 integrating Steam workshop and SDK support. Naturally, what succeeded would be plenty of zombie maps, and among many of these were the Cheese Cube successors. Remakes, ports, sequels, even a potato-themed spinoff.

What the HELL is with all this cheese? Don't gimme wrong, cheese is awesome, but I swear I've never seen this phenomenon anywhere else but the video game modding/development scene.

How about a Garry's Mod addon that adds a cheese NPC that charges at you? Well that exists too. Not only do you (theoretically) click on cheese, but you inhabit the cheese, team with the cheese, attack the cheese... and the cheese? The cheese is ultimately the horrific creature that races at you through the night.

So then I wake up out of my daydream and finish my toilet-business when I come to the realisation that everything will always come back to cheese. It's like Godwin's law, except instead of discussions and a particularly unsavoury group of individuals, its the arts (normally digital) and cheese.

I yearn for the coming of an "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes" type film but with CHEEESE.

Here's a thing btw

[bigbox141]

How I Plan on Writing to This Tumblr in the Future

Ayo! This is just gonna be a short lil' note talking about how I plan on working with this Tumblr in the next bit.

I've been struggling to manage a bunch of things at the same time the past two days (hence the lack of posts), and I was thinking (yes, it was a bathroom thought) about posting to this page daily on a bi-weekly schedule. Every other week, I post every day.

I might pop in every so often during my off-week to post something here or there (like I am now), but this is how I plan on carrying this out in the future.

So yeah, see you lot next week then!

[bigbox141]

Tumblr After a Week: How I came here, and what it's been like.

Hello everyone! This post will basically just be me kinda gettin' my thoughts out on the site and my experience so far, so no photoshops and less quips this time about. Nothing too serious, though, I don't think (not like my vents).

So, I suppose I'll rewind with a bit of context:

I've never been much of a social media user, I don't believe. Never really been fond of other platforms for one reason or another. Twitter I felt tried too hard to put things in my face, Facebook are shady and Reddit felt a bit too in-the-dark at times due to its very upvote-based culture.

Though, at one point I felt so buckled down to my chair that I never really got a chance to write out my thoughts without filling a Discord server, or nagging for voice chats when other lads' timezones are off. I saw to blogger, but in spite of working with it for a project in high school, felt a bit alienated by how big an undertaking it'd be. A couple nudges from my buddies led me back to Tumblr, a site I'd used years ago but never really got too in to using.

Back then, I had blogs with ambitions that either didn't get fulfilled, or blogs for the sake of keeping in touch with friends who happened to have a Tumblr. Unfortunately, at the time I was quite young and very impressionable, and those awful alt-right YouTubers of the time threw out a bunch of political, awful stereotypes that I was gullible enough to believe and Tumblr became a place I was deterred from under this, uneducated view of "errgh liberullss!" (same rhetoric all the idiots online spewing out had to say. Going with this, gullible mass hysteria).

All that crap was just awful, honestly. Fascism, caked in "facts and logic," ironically built on stereotypes and disinformation, in an attempt to suppress individual thought and social connections. "Urgh! only two gendrs!" Well no, gender is social, sex is not. You're taught this in school. "Hnngh! tumblr ful of sjws!" What's wrong with that? The idea is to fight for equality. You're just cherry-picking people you don't like and stereotyping massive communities for it. By that same logic, I could make whatever communities you identify with just as tainted, there's billions of people on this planet. "Global warmn g not rel!!" Okay just shut up.

Years went on and I became disillusioned as I came to realise that all the stupid screaming that the funni yuotuobers onlein were putting out were genuinely hurtful and suppressed communities for no discernible reason. Needless to say, I've matured since, and that shit's over with.

With a new, adult Box, looking at Tumblr, I saw precisely what I view today: art, personality and CHAOS. God do I love my the latter of that trinity right there. Personal expression, be it in text, through visual or audio mediums, whatever it may be, are some of the most raw, human ways to put yourself out there. You'll often see my dislike for objectivism and capitalism in this corporate landscape bleed into my blog posts, as I've found that the two things are highly prevalent online and fundamentally destroy the human need to express in favour of materialistic possession or hard knowledge, no matter how depressing. When I get onto Tumblr, I see the precise antithesis to this: people sharing comedy, art, whatever, getting their personality out. Embracing the chaos of disrupting the standard objectivist view with absurdity, personal views and visual mediums.

It's this community, on top of the innately freely built platform without character limit and little restriction on content that really makes me feel like I can actually put out what I want to. Not to hang onto trends the same way Reddit or Twitter do. If or if I don't have an audience, so be it, at least I'm free.

All of this, conceptually, made me feel at home. Started with silly posts with silly imagery and weirdly out of character text every so often captioning interspersed imagery, writing in wild unique ways each time in a formula that allowed me to creatively exercise in a daily routine with photoshops, video editing and what is essentially a journal. Every so often, I'd vent about something I'd rather not disrupt a Discord with. Most of the time, I wrote rollercoasters of oddities and adventure. Hell, my most recent post is about me dying to a horde of gnomes, and not long before that, I was visiting a Garfield themed restaurant (by the way, Scooby-Doo EATS no longer exists so that idea is cancelled :(). There were a few times I hit a wall, but that's because I succeeded in my goal: making a routine of getting stuff out. I finally feel fleshed out, and it's awesome.

10/10. Loving the site... but a word of advice to you, Tumblr? If yer reading this? When I say "this post isn't for me," I best not be seein' that post in my dashboard again the next time I look through it. C'mon now...

[bigbox141]

Creatures in My Garden

I hate gnomes.

I wanna blow this gnome up.

I wanna smash this gnome against a wall for how much pain it's caused me.

... and this particular gnome is a real pisser.

I know nothing about the origins of garden gnomes, but at a surface level, these guys are weird. You're sittin' about the garden, planting flowers, watering your garden, maybe harvesting a couple tomatoes, and-

You turn around and see this dude staring through your soul. An intruder. A vile FIEND. WHY IS THIS MAN MADE OF CLAY AND WHAT IS HE DOING IN MY GARDEN. Why doesn't he move but in the sliding tides of rainy mud? How does he remain, so stiff. GET OFF, OF MY PROPERTY.

These gnomes are especially weird to me, considering the fact that not only are they so surreal to see commonly amongst vast gardens, but that they're so openly odd that they're often times taken advantage of in the form of crude designs. Lots of butts, and lots of bir-

... how DARE you. How VULGAR. This iS MY LAND, GET OUT. Put that DAMN cigar out and put that FINGER away you rude, rude man.

I will TAKE ACTION if you do not VACATE the premises. Please, for the love of Go-

*Gasp!*

YOU DISGUST ME YOU VILE, VILE CREATURES, ALL OF YOU, GET OUT OF MY GARDEN BEFORE I SMASH EACH ONE OF YOU IN THE MOST VIOLENT WAYS I COULD POSSIBLY IMAGIN-

Oh dear... oh no... there are more... they're COMING. OH GOD THEY'RE COMI-

... no, PLEASE NO, SPARE ME, SPARE MY LIFE, NOOOOOOOOO-

So hey guys, I'm in the afterlife now, pardon that incident earlier. Point is, gnomes are a really weird phenomenon to me and I refuse to research anything about them, since I think they're absolutely absurd without context. Anyways, I gotta figure out how to return to the land of the living...

Here's a thing btw

[bigbox141]

Oops

"Woo! Another morning, can't wait to post to tumblr again!"

10 hours later:

Whoops, sorry fellas, I've been playing a new game and it's had me distracted quite a bit. I think I know what I'll post tomorrow though, so woo-hoo! See you then.

[bigbox141]

A Round Fellow

behold his circumference

hes just doin his thang

[bigbox141]

Bathroom Thoughts EP3: Memes Are Like Cheese

Hey fellas, I'm back from a much needed mental break! Speaking of breaks, I went for a bathroom break and some contemplation led to some confusion, and that confusion led to a thought. It was a thought about cheese.

Yesterday, I polled some friends and family to figure out what my grand returning post would be. I got two distinct answers that lingered in my head for a while and culminated in the ultimate bathroom thought. Cheese, and old people.

Well, not quite 'old people', more that I extrapolated 'old people' from my grandfather's birthday recently, but CLOSE ENOUGH. ANYWHOOO; Of course, since it was my family who suggested 'old people', I immediately thought of Facebook memes and how painful a number of them can be to view. It was then, that it hit me: memes... are like cheese.

I could say wine, but honestly, I'll say cheese.

government cheese rationing has begun please step in line

Pictured above is a stack of sliced, processed cheese. American cheese, government cheese, fake cheese, whatever you want to call it Idon'tcare; Plenty of the Western youth have already had at least a slice of this cheese. When you first have it, it's a wonderful, creamy goodness. It really sticks to the tongue, strings out with your grilled cheese, it fits with just about anything! It goes on your sandwich you take to school every morning, it gets served with your backyard burgers at the barbecue, it gets put in with the Kraft Dinner for some extra cheese- it- it... it gets plain. You start having it too often, and you begin to realise why it's so cheap.

As you grow up, you begin to diversify, see new frontiers of cheese. Bricks, shredded, new flavours... soon, the cheese of yore fades to obscurity. But that's not the last you'll see of that cheddar, since THAT BABY'S GONNA RESURFACE... IN THE FORM OF A RICH, DELECTABLE BRICK OF ORANGE GOODNESS BABYYYY!

Aged cheddar is a taste of the old, nostalgic cheeses of youth, in a rich, tasteful, flavourful new coat of sleEEEK edible paint. Who would've guessed that leaving cheese for years, would make it SO MUCH MORE POWERFUL? A mystery to perplex the frontier-men of the cheese industry for days to come.

But you might be asking: "what on Earth does this have to do with memes?" Well, I'll ask you something: have you seen ragefaces, or Vine memes resurface lately? If you haven't, holy SMOKES I want a feel for that rock you're under, it would probably be so cosy and miles less chaotic...

Let's rewind internet culture a bit, shall we? You're younger now. You see your first few memes, you see that raptor dude pondering with the impact font text, a couple rage comics, maybe even the start of Vine? It's a bit of a golden age for internet humour, it's certainly a hell of a lot more unique than the day to day standards of the traditional comedic conventions, right? Well, things only last so long.

Eventually, the rage comics become stale, Vine shuts down, and other formats are phased out in form of new, unique takes on comedy. Like trying out different slices of the same processed cheese, we go through one pack, get bored of it and try another, get bored again and try another in a vicious cycle of boredom and a search for that top-tier humour to satiate the brain. When we look back at the processed cheese we were eating a month or two ago? It reminds you of that plastic shell, and that boring semi-cheese flavour.

Fast-forward to the present day; Like a call to nostalgia, or a return to the simpler past, you start hearing the nearly decade old "bruh." And(/or) the distortions of the troll face that gave you har hars long ago begin to resurface and expand into these insane, ironic takes that span so far beyond the original scope that it can sometimes come off as actual horror. It's a rich taste of what you once loved.

It's beautiful, really: age bringing things back together again? A unity of nostalgia and silly times to warm your heart and remember what you used to chuckle at? No less, to see it evolve in a way that you'd never possibly foresee: you're meaning to tell me that processed cheddar can just kinda, not be processed, and become that rich, fine aged goodness? These thoughts, they're something to behold.

So go on, eat a brick of cheese. I, dare you.

Here's something btw

[bigbox141]

Vent: A Disgrace to Europe.

This is going to be another serious post. Due to its content, and my own anxieties surrounding the situation, I won't be posting anything else today after this. No photoshop btw this time.

30 years ago, we saw the dissolution of the United Soviet Socialist Republic with the resignation of Mikhail Gorbachev and the disbandment of the regime. It was a fight to get that point, with KGB coups and political civil unrest throughout the nation of Russia. When it was done, however, an age of freedom and interconnection not previously seen in the nation quickly swooped in and provided Russia and the rest of the world with a: democratic, independent, informational and beneficial intercontinental connection (thanks, internet).

In the time that these connections weren't around, genocide, famine and tyranny reigned across the Soviet Union undeterred by international interference. Among these tragedies was 'Holodomor,' the Stalinist strategic famine imposed on the Ukrainian Soviets. Why? Well, not much is known in documentation, but what is known is that it was an intentional culling with the intent of Russo-domination and a singular ideology. A cultural genocide with the intent of expansion and power.

Today here in Canada, Ukrainian survivors and families of Holodomor strongly connect with the Western world in solidarity for what happened long ago. The aforementioned dissolution of the Soviet Republic simply reinforced our connection with a nation oppressed by an authoritarian regime intent on ascertaining power.

In the years of diplomacy and work that the world has built up to never again see the light of conflict like the World Wars, or the tension of the Cold War again, Russia and their disgraceful 20yr Emperor Putin has taken it upon themselves to squash the peace we've worked for. Former KGB agent Putin and the nationalist Russian census have yearned for the return of the Soviet Union, and they're starting with their heritage's closest relative (that wants nothing to do with them anymore).

Wasn't always like this. My uncle of Ukrainian background once tolerated Russia in spite of their impact on his family. Since 2012, and I'm assuming especially now, the same can no longer be said. Russia is a disgrace to Europe.

So long as that dictator is still in power, peace in Europe is now but a stillborn dream. Unfortunately, Russia carved a ways for him to stick around for whatever remaining years he has to make the world a shittier place.

And if that wasn't enough? Chinese tensions with Taiwan are escalating too as their air force intrudes Taiwanese air zones, just-in-time to make the international situation surrounding Ukraine all the worse. As time goes on, things are looking progressively more dire for world peace, thanks to the tight grip that these nations have on their power-hungry, radical minds.

As if Chinese influence wasn't enough of an issue, in areas like America, things are a lot more domestic for the continent. In a post-Trump North America, where elections are meddled with by an infiltrating Russian influence, we've got numbnuts like Tucker Carlson blatantly spewing off pro-Putin BS like no tomorrow. Ukrainian dictator this! Putin's not invading that! Of course, seeing as Trump was Putin's lil shmuggims, every one Trumpoid in America is going to forget the history of the nation and the threat they pose to democracy, in favour of blindly supporting whatever Mr. Combover has to say. Alas, once the tragedies of Ukraine are blatant, Carlson back-peddles on his crap likely to keep his sponsors with him. It's a load of disingenuous bullshit.

The situation in Ukraine is nuanced. No one party is innocent as we look back to what started this mess. National politics in the nation were unstable with Russian identity/Ukrainian independence for a while, and the situation has been difficult to resolve diplomatically. But nothing, nothing warrants what is happening now; The innocent lives and integrity of a nation, being forced to the mercy of Russia's bombings and assault. It's an invasion, not a military operation. Let's not sugar coat their crap.

I pray for the safety of the Ukrainians, and their ability to persevere through the oppression of those god damned attackers. Godspeed, Ukraine, love from Canada.

[bigbox141]

No Posts Today :/

Hit a wall n' thinkin' of what to post next. That, and also I'm gonna be a bit busy today. More ridiculous posts are coming soon, I assure. :)

[bigbox141]

Perusing the Uncanny Valley

I dunno what to post and I haven't posted anything today so I guess I'll talk about uncanny stuff.

One of the funniest things to me is like, things that aren't quite right. Personally, my favourite kind of art is surrealism: a link between the subconscious and conscious mind in the form of dreamy semi-conscious works. It provides a raw view of the human subconscious in comprehensible form. While not quite the same, I suppose that the 'uncanny valley' is similar, in that we consciously view/make these images, and a part of us vaguely recognises oddities that offset it ever so much.

Y'know, like baby Jesus with six-pack abs.

oy mate ive been lifting a couple pounds got real strong

Like, IT'S SO UGLY AND I LOVE IT. Like, imagine you're walking down the street of a bustling city and you notice a baby that's basically just a grown-ass man standing around, preaching in the name of God and the holy spirit to a crowd of pedestrians. IT'S RIDICULOUS.

In spite of the obviously out of this world weirdness of Jesus' form here, however, there's something that kinda tugs in a creepy way. It's like it's not quite human, be it made by a human and that's vaguely terrifying.

Y'know what dude? I'm convinced that Jesus wasn't born from a miracle birth; I'm convinced that Jesus was just an alien organism disguised as a human of holy descent. LOOK AT HIM, WHAT IS THAT FACE?! Come to think of it, Mary looks a bit off too, doesn't she...

Y'know what else isn't quite human? Machines. Well, they're not human at all... but they can try? They donno people like people do, so naturally, they might have some troubles connecting dots and figuring stuff out that to us, would be obvious. Like where our face is supposed to go when we face-swap not with our friends but with the ceiling of an aeroplane.

the plane creature

I love this particular image especially since those ceiling thingamabobs do kinda look like faces from that angle, sorta like when you see the front face of a car... so it totally makes sense. Except, it DOESN'T. WHAT IS THAT THING?! THE LADY LOOKS LIKE SHE HAS FANGS AND THE CEILING CREATURE LOOKS SO ANGRY.

Machines, already, are hilarious to me. Trying to understand language, actions, all that, machines can produce some WILD results. But the fact that it was able to produce something that we can consciously see the resemblance of, but subconsciously go "AGH WHAT IS THAT THING," is what makes it so funny to me.

And how about a few swaps for the schnozzles?

God, these particular swaps bring me way back. Me and a pal of mine used to print out these kinds of images at school and paste them everywhere, we're both sure one of these papers can still be found underneath one of the desks at the school even post-grad. Honestly, it would be amazing to see a nose baby face thing stuck to a desk just out of view, and funnier to see a new generation of students actually find it and continue the printing.

The fact I was able to find more than one of these, though, speaks quite a bit to how uncanny the nose and mouth can actually be when cropped to the right angle. The nostrils really do look like eye sockets and the creases/facial hair just underneath the nose seem quite like a mouth. The result is horrifying, but I love it and I'd KILL to see more of this.

Machines are one thing, but what about when we use machines to create uncanny things on purpose?

this is one of my favourite images on the internet

Okay, this one is just cursed, but I still really wanted to share it. Harvey Dent being cooked well-done with a caption like THAT, DAMN, I LOVE IT. It's so weird, and it's especially great to send to friends because they'd probably hate it.

Alas, even nature, the thing that should be canny, sometimes slips up and makes an abomination. Seals are absolutely adorable, I LOVE THEM SO MUCH! So cute and squishy... but male elephant seals are a stuff of nightmares to me.

Okay, come to think of it, they're actually kinda hilarious looking, but also THEY'RE SO WEIRD. They're like these, big seal-like things (god they are so characteristically UNSEAL) that flop around and fart at each other. Like, these weird trunk things coming out of their face look like toilets. It's also metal as hell seeing these dudes duke it out for a mate, it just sounds like competitive farting. It's absurd.

But I don't think I'll carry on with nature, not right now. Have you seen deep sea life? Scary as hell dude, too uncanny for my liking. Gives me the heebie-jeebies just thinking about it.

The idea of seeing things that don't sit right in that PERFECT way is hilarious to me and I have no idea why. Wouldn't you agree? With that, I'm off to go fart at someone so I can get together with my crush.

Here's a thing btw

[bigbox141]

Eggies Freak Me Out

You know what I love eating? Meat. I like protein. I like milk... but seriously, what the heck are eggs in all this?

I love eating eggs dude, they can be prepared in like a bazillion ways and they're still awesome. A nice hearty egg in the morning helps me with getting my protein's daily value up, and that I think is great, especially for dietary reasons. But like, what are eggs?

They come out of the butts of birdies, and they're supposed to be like, the shell of their nurturing children, so like, what freak decided to grab a kid and just kinda eat its membrane?

It's kinda like the whole "who on Earth decided it would be a good idea to invent drinking cow's milk" thing, y'know? "Ah yeah I wanna yank those cow tubes." In spite of all this, are eggs even dairy? They have like, calcium, and they're strongly related to feeding/birthing young lil' animals, but I don't often hear much about their connection to dairy. Again, like the Secret Dorito blog, there's prolly a solid reason why, but I wanna throw objective truth out the window again as to present an uneducated Box talking about eggs. They're not dairy because they TOOK AWAY THEIR KIDS. NOBODY LEFT FOR HYPOTHETICAL MILK (not to imply that birds have milk. Birds don't have milk. Birds DON'T have milk. I REALLY HOPE THEY DON'T HAVE MILK).

So I have this one friend who raises these quails right? Cutest things, love 'em. When I asked him if they somehow reproduce, he responded that the eggs they produce can't possibly hatch into new quails, though he has bought fertilised eggs before.

Oh my GOD I have no idea how this works and I'm probably really stupid but like IMAGINE HAVING YOUR NUTS FULLY INTACT BUT THEY JUST KINDA DON'T WORK. What have we done to these poor birds, man...

Humanity has given us the egg. Stolen from birds, put into cartons, and sold at grocery stores. Husks of what could've been...

That egg you ate this morning could've been this fella right here... could have, couldn't it... but they stole it. They STOLE THIS LIL DUDE. And now? We eat the yolky wet slime that their hypothetical mother produced.

Not even, we don't just eat it... no, we SCRAMBLE IT. WE FRY IT. WE FOLD THEIR GUTS AROUND. WE DRINK IT. WE SLATHER THEIR UNBORN GUTS IN TO BOWLS AND THROW THEM INTO PANS. We are mangling these un-beings in the name of the Ancient Dark Chicken gods in the form of a sacrifice of flesh... dear God...

As if we haven't disgraced the Chicken gods enough, we even put our own DNA into these eggs and make disgusting egg creatures. Have you guys seen that? The internet hoax of the Russian dude who injected his man-milk into an egg and kept it warm for a few days, then cracked it and some alien-looking thing came out? I just remember the bit where the homonculus thing spat at him, proceeded by "BLYAT" as the dude smashes the thing with a bible.

Who the hell does that dude? We steal the eggs from the birds, then we INJECT OUR OWN DNA?!

But man I love me some bacon n' eggies though

Here's a thing btw

[bigbox141]

did you know there is a pipebomb inside your mialbox

Ah no, I didn't! Let me go check now.

[bigbox141]

Ah dang nabbit