#rustedchild

[saffronic]

a few months ago i had drawn this for my pet on mycena cave, called rustedchild. it was based off my old username i was known for. this is how it felt like actually using that handle at the time, and it’s good that i let it go.

this survived the mycena purge so i feel okay posting this here now.

[saffronic]

Doing tiny updates and a question:

Broke the anxious barrier and posted a photo of me on the side bar. It won't be there for long but I'm trying to draw something new. Also, a heads up for daytime people! This is rustedchild! I just recently decided to change my username (x)! Also I do have a question:

I've been so used to posting my art on my blog (and heroesintherain is separate for good reasons) but I don't know if it'll be clutter clutter. Just wondering. Should I make a tumblr just for my art or maintain everything here? Which is more convenient? 

[saffronic]

Changing Usernames

I haven't posted much in a long while, and I apologize for the silence. A lot has happened recently to where I did not feel well again, but I've been taking steps to actively feel better about my situation. Anxiety and depression are things that hurt on a daily basis, even on medicine. At least, this is a heads up!

Also, I have put much thought in this and I've decided to change my handle--or the username I usually go by. I suppose, reinvent myself, so to speak. Rustedchild is still a username I adore, but it somehow carries a tired baggage with it and with tiny bumps and scars. I'll still keep it in places, but as far as here, I'm changing it.

My new handle will be thelaughingstar (The Laughing Star). Hopefully, a better outlook to what will come, and just knowing that it's never too late for a new change.

[dragonageholidaycheer]

To rustedchild, from rihouston

I went with her second request of Anders and Sebastian meeting in more youthful and carefree days at the Pearl. I can just imagine the two of them sitting at a table and trading stories trying to outdo the other one. I am sorry this is so late, but I was drawng this traditionally when I became ill with pnemonia and my two young ones became ill shortly after me with flu and ear/sinus infections. I drew this beginning of December and finished it off the lines about the time I found out I was infectious. Sorry for the delay, but my scanner and computer also seem to not be cooperating with me. =/

Merry belated Christmas!

[dragonageholidaycheer]

To the lovely SignCherie, from rustedchild!

Her first pairing listed was Isabela with Bethany, so I decided to draw our lady!pirate flirting a little with Sunshine. I hope you like it! Merry Christmas!

[dragonageholidaycheer]

To Rustedchild, from Darktenshi17

Pinch hit for Rustedchild, sorry it's a little late! I had fun with the pairing and I hope that you'll enjoy!  Merry Christmas!

Pairing: Sebastian/Aveline Rating: Teen Theme: Hurt/Comfort

-

She doesn’t know why she is here. It has been years since she’s set foot in the Chantry of her own volition. Not since the day she held her own small memorial for Wesley. A candle lit during the dark of night when no one could see her tears.

Tonight she finds herself within the walls of the Chantry for a different reason and for a different person. She knows Wesley will forgive her for that, he was always too forgiving when it came to the choices she made.

Aveline feels as though the eyes of the statue of Andraste are watching her, judging her even. It is unnerving but she forces herself to ignore it. One day the Maker's judgement will fall upon her, but today is not that day.

Her focus turns from the statue to the figure kneeling on the floor before it. The usually proud shoulders sag and the head is bent forward, nearly touching the base of the altar Andraste rests upon. He looks as though he is in prayer, but no words fall from his lips.

As Aveline steps closer, she watches those slumped shoulders tense. She has made no attempts to hide her presence. Perhaps he had wished someone else had entered the halls he considered a sanctuary.

Too bad for him, she wasn’t going anywhere.

“Sebastian.” Her words sound cold and harsh even to her own ears. She isn’t used to dealing with these sorts of things anymore, not that she was ever good at them to begin with. “It wasn’t your fault.”

A bitter laugh escapes him, bringing a frown to Aveline’s face. “Not my fault?” His voice is thick and cracks slightly at the last word.

She remains firm as she speaks again. “It wasn’t your fault. Blaming yourself isn’t going to change anything either. It won’t bring back the people who died.”

Sebastian finally stands, turning to look at her with red-rimmed azure eyes. There are no tear streaks on his face, but she can tell he has been crying. “How is it not my fault then!? If I had been faster or had more arrows those children would still have a father!”

“There are always ifs, Sebastian; if Hawke had not been distracted with three enemies, if Merrill had not been casting, if I had not been focusing on charging that group of enemies. Would you blame any of us for failing?” Her voice remains stern as she looks into his eyes, daring him to contradict her.

He licks his lips, taking a moment to consider her words. “I was closer and less occupied.”

Aveline glares at him for the comment. “That makes no difference. We all failed because there was nothing that we could do.”

“What happens to those children?”

“You would know better than I,” Aveline says calmly. “If they have family they will go to them, if not they will be taken care of by the Sisters here at the Chantry.”

Sebastian says nothing, turning to gaze at the statue of Andraste. “Why is the Maker so cruel?”

“It’s sacrilegious for me to even consider answering that,” Aveline comments with a chuckle. She is an Andrastian but has never practiced as religiously as Sebastian does. “The Maker has his reasons for everything and they aren’t for mortals such as us to know.”

With a sigh, Sebastian sits on the steps he had previously been kneeling on, burying his head in his hands. “I have seen so much death, yet this one haunts me so.”

Walking forward, Aveline settles on the steps next to him, listening to her armour creak in protest as she does. She’ll have to remember to give it a good oiling when she has some free time. “Given what we do and the world we live in, death is a common part of day to day life. Most of the death we see is that of our enemies, but sometimes we cannot always save the day, no matter how much we wish we can.”

Sebastian turns to look at her thoughtfully, though she doesn’t meet his eyes. “Hawke says you lost your husband to the Blight and that you fought at Ostagar.”

“I did and I was there. There were so few survivors and our failure to stop the hoard led to the deaths of thousands.” She looks down at her gauntlet covered hands, remembering the feeling of the knife as she plunged it into Wesley’s heart. “Wesley was just one of many.”

She looks up at Sebastian when he lays his hand over her own. “The only one to have died or the only death you regret?”

The pain in her heart is just as fresh as it was that day. “Both.” Aveline tries to turn her head away, only to have Sebastian hold it in place with his free hand.

“Did you ever truly grieve for him?” The words are soft and hold a note of sadness as he reaches his thumb up to wipe something wet off her cheek. “If you need, we can grieve together.”

It’s almost embarrassing how easily the tears fall, she spent so much time trying to bury Wesley as deep into her heart as she could, that she never truly gave herself the time to grieve.

When Sebastian’s arms wrap around her armoured shoulders, she doesn’t pull away. She wants to, but can’t muster up the energy to do so, even if it will save her future embarrassment at breaking down. Crying isn’t a weakness, but she is supposed to be the rock in their group.

Sebastian says nothing to her, simply presses his face into her hair. She can feel his tears dampening the hair at the top of her head, but she says nothing. For a moment they take silent comfort in each others arms.

When they part, Aveline moves to wipe at her tears, only for Sebastian to brush her hands aside and dabbed at her face gently with a cloth. “Thank you, Aveline, for sharing in this moment with me.” He leans forward then, pressing his lips to Aveline’s own in a brief, chaste kiss. “It is a moment I will carry with me.”

He gives her no time to reply as he stands, helping her up and offering her a bow. “I bid you a good night, Guard Captain.”

“And to you, Prince of Starkhaven.” She watches as he leaves, wondering at the kiss. When she finally makes her exit from the Chantry it is with a lighter heart and spirit.

[dragonageholidaycheer]

Isabela: You have such pretty hair. What a lovely color. Aveline: Other children used to laugh at me for having ginger hair. Isabela: Really? Aww. I bet you were cute. Did you have pigtails? Aveline: Sometimes. Isabela: How precious! Little Aveline, running around the village with her flaming orange pigtails streaming behind her...

To cherith, from rustedchild~

Cherith mentioned a challenge: her favorite fairytale being the Little Red Riding Hood, and her being interested in a combination of that with one of her favorite pairings. I sincerely enjoyed watercoloring this piece, and I thought the idea of Wolf!Isabela stalking Hood!Aveline interesting. I hope you like it, Cherith! Merry Christmas!

[kenzie-no-mc]

I saw you like that