Idk this headcanon is best shared in dialogue form: Sarge wears an eyepatch under his helmet.
Donut: Hey, Sarge, how’d you lose your eye anyway?
Sarge: I didn’t lose my eye! I have 100/100 vision!
Grif: That’s impossible to have, Sarge.
Simmons: Unfortunately, Grif’s right. It only goes up to 20/20.
Sarge: Maybe for you numbnuts! But my eyes are so perfect, they can spot a foe from 10 miles away across the rocky terrain when camouflaged!
Donut: So the eyepatch is just a fashion choice? Because I have to say I am Loving it!
Sarge: Of course not! While it doubles as intimidating and fashionable, it’s so my enemies won’t know which direction I’m looking! That way they’ll never see me coming.
Grif: That has to be the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard.
Donut: Why not cover both your eyes then?
Sarge: Because then I wouldn’t be able to see! What kind of idiot covers both their eyes? I’d be blind!
Lopez: [I wish I was deaf so I didn’t have to hear this idiot conversation]
Donut: Aw! Sarge, Lopez just says you’re the smartest guy he knows.
Sarge: Of course I am!
Simmons, mumbling: I’m the smartest guy everyone knows.
Sarge: What was that Simmons?
Simmons: Oh, nothing sir.
(Cut away)
