warning: wall of text
I think go geon is an extremely confusing and sophisticated character. Not only that it’s hard for us to understand him, Geon himself has always been torn off between two conflicting notion of ideality.
Geon was once a prideful young master, who has everything a man can desire: a high-class, powerful family, talents and handsomeness. It is almost natural, a normal conception, for a man like him to have a shiningly beautiful and strong princess, whose dignity is compatible to his, by his side. Leaving that aside, the young and naive Go Geon has once loved the princess with all he’s got.
But when they encounters each other in a different context, where he is not someone who supposed to be with her, and she who looking for something entirely different than just an ideal picture of a powerful couple on their throne. Go Geon has nearly forgone everything just to be with her, but the princess has firmly rejected his feelings, leaving not only a broken heart behind, but also the loss of a man dignity, a hurtful ego, for not able to get what a man like him deserves. Even more, a normal, filthy man that has nothing to compared with him has win over his princess. Prideful Geon was crushed and when that truth hit, he changed.
If he cannot have that perfect love, he must have that perfect power. Geon poured all his anger and frustration in revenging the princess and getting back what should be his and his family’s. In the mid of chaos, he met Mo Yeong, who is different. A mysterious lady who is clever and attractive has come to his attention. But if it’s anything of her that he can be certain of, is her unrequited love for him. Certainly he has thought to use her, but Mo Yeong’s sincerity captured this man’s heart, giving him a warmth to be drown in, a shoulder to lean on, a love that he is dying to have at that frantic moment. She is his safe place, but is she his love ?
Geon has incessantly torn off between two conflicting characteristics. An angel that would fight for the right and justice he once believed in, or to feed the evil by avenging for his broken heart and ego. While he is being unsure of himself, ongoing conflicts has favored the evil inside him. Betraying his nation, his king and the princess to end all of this resentment. At the end of the day, he lost, saved but crushed even more than before. Geon is ruined to the core and even Mo Yeong, the one woman he once cherished, is blamed for the tragic that has happened.
At the end of the day, Geon chose to fight for the princess. I found this different from a man fighting for his loved one. Princess Pyeonggang is a resemblance of justice, an idealty and all the rightful things that deep down Geon is chasing for. This explains the resentment he experienced and all the conflicting decisions. Knowing that eventually he will have to die, the only thing that must be done is him being truthfully loyal to his core beliefs. Protecting the Princess is an act of redemption, an fulfillment of promise, to unleash Geon from the torturement for going against his true will. However, he still has a certain place in his heart for his first love, behind all of these reasons.
In this process of finding his right path, Geon has neglecting one important thing to him, is Mo Yeong. One cannot fully appreciate somethings that has always been there for him, they say. I know that Geon has loved her, but he for once has not known how to properly love someone, given his life is sunk in rejected love, resentment, blood-shed fighting and a doubtful, tearing self. But all the feelings were there, seeing him worries for her. Those little acts of care, their affection in those hugs and kisses, his eyes when he said she is his person before knocked out. It was all true. He was being himself, dark and somewhat merciless, a man with weak sides, a flawed personality that only shown when being with Mo Yeong. She was home and he loved her, but not in a proper way that a woman like her should have been treated. With all the mess going on inside his mind, he chose to ignore both his and Mo Yeong’s feelings, focusing on his pain only. He is selfish for never considered her as his first priority even he truly has feelings for her. He does not deserve her love, I would say. But it is only for Mo Yeong to decide.
Geon wants her to hate and curse on him, for it will make her feel better than loving a terrible jerk like him. But he does not wish for that, in fact, he’s always longed for her love. When he’s close to dying, just like when he was preparing to leave to the border, Geon said to Mo Yeong that he wants to play and drink on a beautiful day like this. He wanted to play a truth or lie game with her, just like that day when he asked if she loves him. He asked if Mo Yeong hates him, and even when she said yes, Geon still said that’s a lie, just like that day when she claimed to not having feelings for him. His last sentence to Mo Yeong, was “I loved you”. And I think that is true. He loves her, improperly, and he does not deserve her. We must also not forget that both Geon and Mo Yeong are not innocent. They have done wrongful things for which they have to pay the price. Geon cannot have a happy ending, and so is Mo Yeong. Life is fair when it makes Geon pays for what he’s done, but at the same time rewarding him one thing that remains unchanged, that is Mo Yeong and her love for him.
If life was a fairy tale, perhaps Geon will survive this, starts a new life when he finally understand himself, devote to the one he loves, and learn what is mean to love someone and have a future with them. Maybe Geon too, has once wished for this to happen. But what must come has came, for which there was no chance granted for undeserving people.