#ryddles

[romanceyourdemons]

guy working on an artwork they knew would push them technically: what the hell why do i keep doing this wrong. am i haunted by malevolent spirits and such

[romanceyourdemons]

told my coworker “they’re accusing the chivelord of chive fraud” and it turns out she doesn’t know what any of that means and i look crazy

[romanceyourdemons]

people needdddd to wear headphones in public because while on an otherwise very lovely walk in the park today i saw a guy sitting under a tree watching a porn parody of the star wars prequels

[romanceyourdemons]

in retrospect my father was kind of iconic for how he handled it when he called someone a twat in front of little kid me and i asked what that word meant. the answer he came up with was, and i’ll always remember this, “no one knows what it means. it’s a mystery”

[romanceyourdemons]

one of my favorite tropes in chinese literature is when a guy’s wife is clearly a ghost/demon/fox fairy and he just can’t see it. i’m reading a story where this guy keeps getting arrested because his wife will just magically steal steal shit out of sealed boxes and give it to him as a present, and whenever someone is like dude i think something’s up with his wife he asks her and she’s like i’m literally normal. so he turns around and says yeah guys she’s literally normal

[romanceyourdemons]

when you’re mean to me this is literally who you’re being mean to *image of me perched atop a throne of human skulls on a cliff above the ocean, howling wind and shrieking seagulls, and the dream goes on forever, one single static frame*

[romanceyourdemons]

funniest moment in moby dick is when they meet another captain who lost a limb to the white whale and ahab goes like “and dost thy blood not boil, aye, and the very marrow of thy bones too, to know that the wretched creature and very devil of the sea that harmed us both still draws breath??” and the ship captain is like no i’m fine, it wasn’t the whale’s fault or anything. i mean imagine actually holding a grudge against a fish lmao that’s actually the funniest thing i’ve ever heard and ahab goes you don’t know what the FUCK you’re talking about. and stamps his foot so hard he breaks his ivory leg

[romanceyourdemons]

you can tell the economy is doing awesome when every ad is like “play our slot machines—they’re weirdly addictive!” “no money? try loan shark!” “sports betting: the cooler way to be a man” and i swear to god i’m barely paraphrasing the copy of several ads i just saw i swear to jesus christ