#ryomen.vent

[hypixelskywars]

I need to commission someone to draw me with fish. Just a fuck ton of fishtanks. Fuckin. Fish domain.

Talking about fish below cut, tw for pet loss.

Anyways. I lost one of my betta fish yesterday. And today it seems the other is coming down with a pretty gnarly fungal infection. And god. Jesus fucking christ i feel awful. All of my other fish are fine, swimming around and happy. Why my bettas? Why? The thing about bettas is that they are so personable. They have distinct personalities and can be trained amd they have names and I fucking loved them both. It feels so fucking shitty. God. And it feels like. Im a dumbass for crying over my dead fish and telling people why im so off. Because no one understands how much these fish mean to me and godddd. I hope she gets better. I fuckn hope she survives the night so i can pick up medicine for her tomorrow. I knows shes just a fish but i will pay whatever it takes for her. Please just. God.

[hypixelskywars]

In the last couple of days I've felt only vaguely like a human. I feel like a restless energy that was forced into a human shape thats too small and too waek. Everytime i feel something too strongly it feels like having an open wound and watching everything spill out. I feel like I should be able to fix everything. They everything that happens regardless of wheter or not it could be stopped, that i should be able to stop it.