#rys rants

[kaurwreck]

Tumblr is very anti-confidence, for all of its self proclamations. Whenever you attack someone for being proud of their work, and perhaps for factually pointing out what about their work they enjoy for being thoughtful or progressive, you are shaming them for creating art that they can be proud of. The SJ side of tumblr especially likes to argue amongst each other as if they don't stand for similar ideology. I say this after watching John Green and Neil Gaiman get slammed for no other reason than they dared appreciate their own portrayal of an issue or demographic. Or even that they dared point out that their portrayal differs from works in the same time frame. Tumblr has a lot of merits but it's such a caustic environment, even for people who literally embody the positive aspects of it.

[kaurwreck]

I'm trying birth control (for the second time) to deal with my periods-from-hell and quite frankly this nausea is making me want to murder a man. I'm pretty sure if I stick it out for a week the symptoms will fade but fuckshitewifeelsickandgross

[kaurwreck]

I'm emotionally detached. Naturally. That doesn't mean I don't get hurt and it doesn't mean I don't empathize, it simply means I don't like getting emotional, I don't like showing emotion, and I don't like dealing with emotion unless it's under my own terms. 

That being said, I don't manage my emotions very well. I bottle them up and then they burst forth in an ugly mess, triggered by something silly and irrelevant. You have no idea how I'm actually feeling at a given time, don't begin to presume. It's not your fault, it's mine for refusing to disclose the issue. I don't know why I do this, I don't gain self satisfaction from it. 

I don't EVER just "get up and leave" without reason. If I have cut off all ties to you, no matter how abrupt it may have seemed, I had several damn good reasons and you can't say I didn't warn you. 

However, I tend to just cut off ties and not give any reasons so I can't blame you for not knowing, just don't accuse me of not having my reasons. 

I don't deal with death well. 

I'm self aware of my own stages of grief so I don't know if I'm doing them right. 

If I left you, I don't miss you. If you left me, I'm pining. Only three people can claim they've left me and one's dead, the other came back, and the last one's in the process of dying. 

The last bullet point might not be wholly accurate, I'm not really sure. Elementary school is sort of a blur. 

I haven't lived for very long and I'm sort of sick of people in my demographic acting like it has been that long. 

I'm about to go to my dream college and I'm terrified. 

This terror is a good terror, more anticipation than anything. 

I'm a fairly optimistic cynic. 

I really hope no one reads this, this is embarrassing. 

[kaurwreck]

What the ever living FUCK. 

I am so fucking sick of seeing twisted social justice on this goddamned site. Since WHEN has it ever been okay or a good idea to combat ignorance with hate? Like, really, guys?

Here's some context:

I kept reading about this blog that apparently made some transphobic comments and was therefore receiving shit tons of hate mail. I went over there expecting some goddamn cis/elitist/ignorant bullshit and all I saw was someone promoting total equality and then being totally drowned in anons telling her to commit suicide. You know what, fuckers, if you've got the fucking genitals to tell someone to KILL THEMSELVES then you have the fucking genitals to get the fuck off anon and tell them straight. I don't know about her other opinions, but the backlash she received was ridiculous and inappropriate. 

Jennifer Lawrence recently made some transphobic remarks. While I was disappointed in her, writing her off as an asshole and totally disregarding all of her positive attributes that made her so popular in the first place is quite frankly narrow minded. Some people (a fuck load, actually) have not been exposed to as much diversity as, perhaps, others. When you are reared and conditioned in a society to think one way, you tend to fucking think that way until otherwise taught. Instead of adding labels and writing people off, teach them. Construct arguments. Ignorance is nothing more than a lack of knowledge, and that can only be bettered or corrected with information, knowledge, and the chance to empathize. I've been exposed to a shitload of diversity in my lifetime and I still catch myself slipping up and saying things that are absolutely archaic and against my moral standards. And you know what else? Public speaking is fucking hard. Holding interviews is fucking hard. Jennifer Lawrence (and other actors who have recently been completely denounced) will do over twenty interviews a day. You do that and not get delirious and tired and a bit stupid. A LOT of "social justice" bloggers I see on Tumblr also claim social anxiety. There is nothing wrong with having social anxiety, but when you fucking know and feel how difficult it is to stand in front of shitloads of people and talk and mingle and answer questions then you have no fucking right to attack people who literally do so all of the time and are under constant scrutiny to boot. Is it okay to make transphobic, racist, homophobic comments? No, it's not. But people are flawed and imperfect and shit happens and then you grow. 

If you can't do anything constructive and actually lucrative to the movements you profess to exalt, then get the fuck off your laptop and get a goddamn day job. As a matter of fact, get the fuck off your laptop and go talk to some people about humanity and what it means to actually empathize. Go talk to someone about mistakes and discovery and learning and growth.

Tumblr tries to hold people to fucking ridiculous standards. You exalt and display them, showering them with adoration only to cut them down the MOMENT they so much as indicate basic human flaws. Nothing, I repeat, NOTHING can match up to the RIDICULOUS standards that are imposed when it is idolized. Admire but do not idolize. Take the good advice and leave the bad. And STOP PICKING ON EACH OTHER GODDAMMIT. 

[kaurwreck]

Republicans:

Obamacare isn't a good idea right now. It needs to be tweaked and thought through a bit more before being implemented, there are still lots of holes to be filled. But it's not the end of the world or of America. There have been worse evils and now is not the time to shit on welfare as a whole.

Democrats:

Relax. Republicans are not the spawns of all evil. Obamacare has a lot of kinks right now, don't be so ready to jump the gun before it's been worked through. Republicans don't want the downfall of the middle and lower class, they just have opinions, much like yourself. 

Instead of using this shutdown to point fingers and make total asses of ourselves on television, let's just debate and amend and smooth out the wrinkles of this plan, and then let's let it pass because Obama's the president and he is trying to utilize his time in office for something. Is it a good something? That's not my place to say. Remember: We're not democrats or republicans, we're America. The job of the executive office should be to unite the divides of the nation, not bring them to blows. 

Also, this is not the first time there has ever been a government shutdown; it's not as awful as everyone's working it up to be. The families who rely on government pay should be payed in the next two weeks, some actually got advance pay the night before the shutdown. It'll be okay. 

[kaurwreck]

Hi, friendly reminder that America is a big melting pot. Our culture is the product of all sorts of cultures mingling and cooperating to make a great nation whose economic and political growth has been astounding over the past couple of centuries. We don't have an official language or an official religion because we value diversity and freedom. That's our tagline. And so, if someone is speaking their native language and it isn't English, the appropriate response is not, "Excuse me, this is America, you should speak English," because English is actually from England, go figure. Instead you should simply recognize that they are contributing to the diversity that makes America so great and move on. 

[kaurwreck]

Hello, right quick, not to anger anyone when American politics is already so tangled, but I would like to state my opinion on something rather prevalent right now. 

Fucking guns.

I like knowing that when I come of age, I can bear arms. My father took me to a range when I was fifteen and taught me how to shoot a gun in preparation for when I moved out of the house. I'm a tiny ass 17 year old female and while there are plenty of physically strong tiny ass teenage females, I am not one of them. I can't even refill the fucking sugar bin at work without someone helping me lift the bag. 

If we forbid civilians to bear arms, guns aren't going to disappear! People, who have no business carrying a gun, will find one to carry and if they wield it there will be no protection for people like me. 

Should we make it harder to own a gun? Sure. Regulations, laws, applications, background checks: let's do it. But the issue with shootings and violence lies not in gun control but in America's ignorance to the importance of mental health. 

Perhaps if we spent more time creating safer establishments for mental health and giving schools the resources to take care of students who need mental health care, and less time attacking the NRA, then maybe we'd have a more solid foundation for stopping gun related violence. 

[kaurwreck]

COLLEGE APPS ARE STRESSFUL AS FUCK