Even More on the Tamaki-Ranka parallels from Haruhi’s POV
This meta is posted conveniently in time for Father’s Day. I hadn’t noticed the date and I wasn’t actually trying to post this today but oh well...
OHSHC Manga Spoilers!
I don’t think I’m negatively affected anymore by that anime only scene in the grocery store and no longer find it questionable that Tamaki reminds Haruhi of her father to have that help justify her falling for him to the audience. I’m pretty sure the intent, as made clear, was that it makes her better able to handle him and more quickly endear her to him and his quirks because he’s familiar and safe, which is a point that favours Tamaki in the relationship more. What makes Tamaki a good match for Haruhi however is what he does for her when he embraces his “fatherly duties” towards her. He takes care of her, makes sure she eats/“provides” for her, checks up on her, protects her, and dotes on her similarly to Ryuji that Haruhi doesn’t like—Tamaki is “obnoxious” to her. The rest of the Host Club act the same way to her but they act more like her friends than Tamaki which is why they are the best friend group for her to be in at that specific point in her life when she starts the show, helped along majorly with the mutual desire to be kids and enjoy themselves. What makes Tamaki special, however, other than sharing similarities with her father is brought to attention most evidently below. He and Kyoya are the leaders. Nothing in how Tamaki behaves she believes are necessarily wanted behaviours from him by her. Haruhi as a person is the kind who doesn’t easily accepts help, concern or care from anyone including the rest of the Host Club, and those things aren’t most concretely appreciated by her until she realizes she loves him. Tamaki, however, is the catalyst for so much sudden inspiration in her just as he is for many others he affects:
Tamaki taking care of Haruhi (above and below):
Someone pointed out that Haruhi is affected by parentification and I agree. One of the ways to combat it is by meeting the neglected child’s needs and letting them be secured. I don’t think she’s as badly affected however by it as she could be with Ryuji as her father.
Context of Haruhi’s background: Since Haruhi’s mother’s death, it’s shown that she’s been precocious and independent in attempt to emulate her mother to honour her. She’s successful as she learns to prioritize studying to become a lawyer, playing by herself/emotionally regulate (which is actually surprising for a parentified child and shows Ryuji’s good parenting), “independently” grocery shop, and I believe properly keep track of the finances since Ryuji is canonically horrible with money. She took up the role of her mother essentially. She even sometimes has to console a drunk or overly-emotional Ryuji after a night at the bar, sometimes actively avoiding going home so that she won’t disrupt his sleep or needed personal time away from her. This I recognize as normal and relatable aspects of her character, coming from someone who’s a WOC and from a lower SES background as well. It’s a common struggle to go through. It’s a necessity for survival and that trauma becomes a major part of your personality as you grow up manifesting in healthy or unhealthy ways with either embracing the parentification role completely (Haruhi) or resolving to grow out of it to reclaim childhood (Tamaki - from prioritizing and worrying over Anne-Sophie). Haruhi chose the former end of the spectrum, dealing with things in a relatively healthy way which means there isn’t anything inherent that needs to be changed about Haruhi except for perhaps a balance of things in her life (creating a spectrum of responsibility on one end and security for living carefree in a healthy way on the other).
It isn’t like Ryuji doesn’t notice any of what she does. He actually tries to reciprocate the care she gives him and to rectify the dynamic by being more traditional and overly protective. This does not work as Haruhi grows most comfortable in her role and accepts her father as he is, strongly attaching her attitude to her identity because of her loss and intelligently wanting to prevent failure and hardship. They have both accepted each other and now he can only hope that things will be alright with her. Haruhi finds a great sense of purpose and confidence in herself thanks in part to the watchful eye of Ryuji. That is exactly why the Tamaki-Ranka parallels aren’t nearly as bad as they could be made to be. How I initially thought them to be. Like her relationship with her actual father, Tamaki and Haruhi’s is not perfect but fine.
Fun fact: When first reading the manga, I skipped around in the first 40 chapters and landed here. This was the first instance that I felt like Haruhi was falling. Of course, I was wrong as it’s even earlier, much before chapter 57.
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