(or "I’m really drunk, please help me get safely out of the way so I don’t ruin our friend’s wedding.")
calum hood has been pretty sure, since the first time he met her a million years ago, that addie clifford is going to be the death of him.
and he’s not afraid of telling her that, often and in varying tones of voice and at several different pitches and decibels. he’s told her when he was so angry at her he thought he might burst a blood vessel, and he’s told her when she was kissing her way across his hips and making him think that he might, well, burst a blood vessel. addie certainly has a way of making calum think that every day might be his last. at least, he think as he watches her tip back another glass of champagne, he gets to spend it with her.
“addie, don’t you think you’ve had enough?” he asks, putting his hand on her bare back (that dress he’s wearing will be number 3 on his list of “causes of death) and stepping closer to her so that he won’t be overheard. “addie.”
she shrugs him off and steps closer to laura, whose cheeks are also ruddy from the alcohol. michael’s disappeared somewhere, and he’s left calum to tend to the girls, which he’s not sure he can manage, even though lennon’s been left at a friend’s house for the night.
“oh my god!” addie half-shouts, leaning back against calum a bit as she laughs loudly. it’s so loud that it breaks through calum’s thoughts, and he knows that he needs to get her out of here.
“addie,” he says softly, cupping her elbow. “c’mon, let’s go get some fresh air.”
addie doesn’t respond, but she lets him pull her across the ballroom anyway. he spots michael over by the bar, lifting two fresh glasses of champagne off the counter, and when he catches his eye, calum gives half a shake of his head. michael’s eyes drift to addie, and when they meet calum’s again, he only shrugs in response.
they keep going, addie stumbling as she walks. calum’s never been embarrassed of his wife before, and he certainly hope he won’t have to be tonight. as she sags against him, he realizes, though, that she’s not doing this because she likes the way the alcohol burns a bit as it slides down her throat. no, it’s the exact opposite.
they’ve been trying to get pregnant for months, and just a few days ago, they found out that the new hormone therapy they’d been trying wasn’t working. calum wishes he could drink away the feeling of inadequacy that’s swimming around in his stomach too, but he knows that this isn’t the time or the place.
it’s only when she stumbles over the edge of the dance floor and nearly twists an ankle on her heels before falling back into calum’s arms that addie seems to notice what’s going on. she ducks her head down, allowing her hair to fall into her face, and grabs a fistful of calum’s shirt.
“jeez, cal,” she breathes, the smell of alcohol heavy on her breath. “i’m really drunk. please help me get out of here before i ruin luke’s wedding.”
“what is it you think i’m doing?” he bites back. he’s a bit annoyed with her all of a sudden, with her childish behavior and her reckless disregard for the kind of behavior that’s appropriate when you’re at your husband’s best mate’s wedding to his childhood sweetheart. but mostly calum’s annoyed with himself, because he let this happen.
“well, you don’t have to be an asshole about it,” addie snaps, pulling her arm out of calum’s grasp. a second later, though, she stumbles again, and he grabs her again.
they don’t speak as they make there way out of the ballroom and into the hotel lobby. the air is fresher out here, free from the smell of sweat and alcohol and the heat of dancing bodies. calum stops at one of the couches near the fireplace and pushes addie down on it. he watches as she sinks down, limbs dangling like she’s a doll.
“stay here for a sec. i’m gonna go get you some water,” he says, not really looking at her before he turns away. he tries not to think as he crosses the lobby and buys a bottle of water from a vending machine. his irritation at addie is prickling underneath his skin like needle points. he takes a deep breath to try to dissipate the feeling, but it doesn’t work.
there’s nothing to do but head back to addie. when he reaches her, he sees that she’s bent over with her elbows on her knees and her head in her hands, and she’s crying.
suddenly, calum feels all of his annoyance at addie disappearing. all he feels now is a desire to make whatever’s bothering her go away -- except this time, he knows, he won’t be able to. this thing is out of their hands.
“jeez, addison,” he mutters as he sits down beside her and pulls her back against him. she collapses into him instantly, her long hair spreading across his chest.
“it’s my fault,” she says, the words stilted by her sniffles. this is ugly crying, and calum knows she’ll regret it tomorrow, when she wakes up with a hangover and red-rimmed eyes, but there’s nothing he can do now besides hold her. “there’s something wrong with me.”
calum rubs circles on her back and shakes his head. “no, addie. there isn’t anything wrong with you. you’re perfect.”
she lets out a sob and presses her face into his shoulder. “i’m not perfect. a baby would be perfect.”
“our baby will be perfect. whenever it happens, okay? it’ll happen, and it’ll be perfect.” calum knows that, he feels it -- feels it like he feels his love for addie, flowing through his body with every beat of his heart, keeping him alive.
addie lifts her head and looks at him, her red eyes meeting his. “you can’t know that.”
“i do,” calum says. he feels sure, and he makes sure that he sounds it, so that addie can know it too. “i know it, and i feel it. it’ll happen.”
“it’ll happen,” addie repeats, but she doesn’t sound sure. so he wraps his arms around her and holds her and thinks it so hard that it’ll have to come true. it’ll have to.
13. What character would be your best friend in real life?
okay hmm i think hermione and i would get along really well but tbh i would love to hang out with grown-up mary lennox and plant flowers with her and stuff.
36. Unpopular opinions
i hate hamlet. is that an unpopular opinion? idk, maybe. i think vladimir nobokov is gross.
37. A book you are scared is not going to be all you hoped it would be
uhhh what books am i looking forward to right now?? i’m not sure!! i tend to read book reviews before i read books so i don’t think i would ever pick up a book expecting it to be great and then be disappointed. i definitely had that feeling before 1989 came out, though!! but i think all my favorite writers are dead, or writing ya fiction that i never expect to be life-changing anyway, so i don’t think i’ve ever experienced this feeling in relation to books!!
AHHHH thank you for asking about gmat!! i may or may not be almost done with the next chapter and am planning on posting on the occasion of gmat’s 2nd birthday... but more about that later...
calum’s character in good men and true was originally inspired by characterizations of draco in various dramione fics that i’ve read but quickly devolved (or maybe evolved idk it’s debatable) into something much more endearing and easier to like. probably because i decided he should hang out with lennon.
♦ for Niall and Cole hehe I hope you have a great weekend, Natasha!! xx
quirks and hobbies!!
well we already know about how niall and cole are pretty much obsessed with auden – they have this love/hate relationship with him because they studied him in the class that brought them together. eventually they start collected books of auden’s poetry, and they become particularly fond of scouting vintage bookshops all across london for first prints. finally they find one, and it’s 300 pounds and they buy it anyway, even if it means they can’t eat takeout for a month.
Am I too late for the head canon meme thing? If not, ◉ for Addie and Calum :--) haha x
okay the double circle is choose your own and i’m going to give you a lil bit of domestic addie and cal and tell you about how when they’re redecorating the guest room for the baby, addie makes cal change the paint color three times because she can’t make up her mind. she doesn’t want it to be pink or blue because she doesn’t want to stick to gender norms, and the color she ends up on is this really, really pale yellow. calum thinks it’s perfect, and he packs up all the painting supplies and does a final clean of all the brushes and rollers.
and then the next morning addie wakes him up at 6:30 and is like, “hey cal hey cal i changed my mind i want green.” and calum wishes he’s having one of those bizarre dreams like addie always has, but unfortunately this is real life, and in real life, his crazy pregnant girlfriend wakes him up at the crack of dawn and makes him repaint a room three times.
omg the relationship meme for Penn and Ash!! I miss them so muuchh
pls omg i miss them too!!
(also p.s. you didn’t hear it here but i may be trying to finish up ipn this summer which features a whole lotta penn/ash)
under the cut bc this is hella long sorry
NOT ANOTHER SHIP MEME ;; SUPER LONG EDITION
who would be the one to randomly adopt a puppy without consultation: okay they already have cardy and clove but tbh ash would be the one dragging a new pup home after his review sessions
who would force the other to take aesthetic pictures of them: honestly again ash
who would do stuff they think is stupid just to make the other one happy: penn would do the stuff (like go to all the tourist traps when they’re on vacay) for ash
who picks out the horror movies to watch just so the other will cling to them: ash picks out the horror movies bc penn hates them
who is constantly studying and who is constantly trying to distract them: generally ash studying bc advanced degrees ya feel but penn’s moooostly respectful of his studying time
who initiates the facetime calls whenever they’re separated: penn bc she’s got some separation anxiety
who is more likely to storm out after a fight and who is more likely to cry when they do: tbh i feel like we saw a lot of this in rfd but ash def storms and penn def cries
who stays up way too late binge-watching their favorite shows: penn bc she has surprisingly low impulse control when it comes to her fave shows
who bites the other’s ear when they’re feeling frisky: penn even tho it makes ash laugh uncontrollably every time
who sprays the other with water when they’re washing the car: let’s make this watering the plants instead bc i don’t think they have a car so ash
who has more fun decorating the house during holidays: penn for sure
who is more likely to give the silent treatment when they’re mad at the other: ashton is surprisingly good at the silent treatment
who plays with the others’ hair more: penn loves ashton’s hair
who is more likely to climb all over the other one when they’re bored: ash will climb on penn
who tries to kiss the other as often as they can: ash kisses penn
who pouts when the other one tells them to shut the fuck up: ash pouts
who initiates the sex and who walks away when the other is riled up: penn will do this esp when she’s a lil pissed (and by pissed i mean both when she’s angry at him and occasionally when she’s drunk)
who always forgets the umbrella and who holds it when they actually have one: penn will forget the umbrella and ash holds it
who demands showering first in the mornings: ash does bc penn works late shifts and showers before she goes to bed
who sneaks into the shower with the other one in the mornings: penn sneaks in if she wakes up early enough to catch ash in the shower
who prefers riding the roller coasters and who prefers playing the games: penn likes the coasters and ash likes games bc the coasters make him nauseous sometimes
who will text the other one thirty times in a row until they respond: ash will text penn
who always forgets to charge their phone overnight: penn forgets
who comes up behind the other and slide their hands into their back pockets: ash ash ash ash ash
who tries to get hugs from the other as often as they can: penn does (a lot of back-hugging)
who is louder and who constantly has the tell the other to be quiet: ash is normally louder and penn tells him to quiet down - except if penn is drunk bc then she’s waaay loud
Since you get this you have to say five things you like about yourself, publicly, then send it to 10 of your favorite followers (non-negotiable) (positivity is cool)
