ꨄ︎ 𝒮 ynopsis : : you get drunk on a night out and gush about your boyfriend━━SPENCER REID. he picks you up, takes care of you, and reminds you that you're deeply loved.
ꨄ︎ 𝓒ontents : : drunk!reader. female!reader. jj and reader are friends since high school. fluff. spencer being the most boyfriendest boyfriend ever & ever. both are down bad for each other. mentions of having sex. boys of tommen quote mentioned!! johnnyshannon quote mentioned!! cringe. cheesy. grammatical errors. ooc(?). reader wears a dress and heels. reader is part of the bau but isn't mentioned. english isn't viana's first language. not proofread.
ꨄ︎ 𝓦ord count : : 1.4k
ꨄ︎ 𝓒ase file shelf.
ꨄ︎ 𝒲hispers of viana : : so... it's always drunk! spencer,, what about drunk!reader, chat!?!?( joksies, i love love love love your works sososo much,, i haven't read the nsfw ones but i love them because yes. they're definitely good. ) going back to my oldoldold writing style because i miss it. anyways, this is probably like, my first , first, first s.reid fic in months. the ones i've posted yesterday were made in,,, february-ish,, so this is probably bad-bad-bad. i'm vv sorry in advance!! + how do you guys make friends here lawd. oh, oh, and again, english isn't my first language,, so forgive me !!
the dress you chose wasn't exactly comfortable, and the heels were the type that made you wonder every step of the way. they were cute in the mirror.of course, but after standing for about ten minutes, it seemed like your feet were dying. nonetheless, you'd promised jj you'd attend. and when she mentioned that some of your old high school friends would be there. the ones she still kept in contact with━━you thought it couldn't hurt. it had been an eternity since you let loose, and jj promised you'd be home before midnight. besides, SPENCER said he didn't mind.
"go," he said to you that morning, stroking his thumb over your knuckles the way he always did. "you need a break. and besides, you're with jj, so i'm not concerned.
you weren't even going to drink. really. that wasn't the intention. but then more and more drinks would come and there would be low lights and everyone would laugh and laugh and laugh like it was time machines and it was senior year once more and there were no bills to pay or the need to procrastinate school projects or heartbreak or anything like that. only music and giggles and sparkly eyeshadow and glossy lips.
jj laughed next to you, her wedding ring glinting in the bar lights like a miniature disco ball. they were congratulating the girl for getting married and having kids.
one of the girls leaned in, already a little drunk, her voice teasing. "so what about you?" she said. "you dating anyone?"
you blinked at her, wobbling a bit in your seat, your drink halfway to your lips. "mmhmn," you hummed contentedly. "boyfren. beautiful. so, so intelligent. like, utterly intelligent. my spencer."
jj gagged on her drink. "oh boy."
your friends leaned in, curious now. "wait, that's his name? spencer? is he cute?"
you breathed in sharply, eyes wide. "cute? noooo. he's celestial. like.. a star. with a phd. and fluffy hair. and cheekbones. and when he speaks, it's like... sexy wikipedia."
you laughed, tugging jj's arm for support. "he knows everything. and remember everything i say. even the stupid things. like one time i said birds don't have knees? and he said they do, but he said it all soft and sweet like i hadn't just said the most wrong thing ever."
"he has, like, eighteen phds! it's insane. but it's spencer, so it's not insane."
jj snorted. "he's got three phds."
you brushed her away. "three is basically the same as eighteen. he totally has eighteen."
everyone at the table burst into laughter. jj leaned over and whispered, "you're so gone."
“mhmn. 'm so gonna marry him.”
soon, the heels became your worst enemies. you dropped your chin dramatically onto jj's shoulder and groaned, "jayjjjeey. my feetsies hurt. the heels are murdering me. it's, like, medieval battles down there."
“maybe remove them?" jj suggested, raising an eyebrow.
"then i'll be short," you huffed, offended.
jj rolled her eyes and got out her phone. "i should probably call your boygenius before you start rambling about his hands again."
"his hands are so nice though!"
"yeah, yeah. i know." she began dialing.
spencer answered on the first ring. "jj?"
"hey━━" she began, but didn't get a chance to finish.
"spencer!" you yelled into the phone. saying the “e” in his name longer than it should be.
you pulled the phone away from her like it was your personal offender. "hi, hi. hi again" you drawled, stretching it out like the best song. "guess who?"
"hmm," spencer muttered, tone gentle. "i'm going to go say the love of my life?"
you squealed. loudly. "oh my god, you're so cute. spencer. your voice is like.. silk. but, like, smart silk. is that a thing?"
he was grinning into the phone now, though he was already getting up to grab his jacket. "did you have fun tonight?"
"mhm. so much fun. they asked if i have a boyfren and i was like 'duh' and they were like 'is he cute?' and i was like 'no. he's an actual greek god with brown eyes and a brain that could take over the world.'"
you were slurring more now. even over the phone, he could hear how your words tangled together.
"do you want me to come get you?"
you stopped as if you needed to think very hard. then you spoke softly but loud enough, "yes. yes. come and get me. please. i want to see your face. want to touch your hair. want━━to━━wait. jj! jj, he's coming!"
behind him, he heard jj say, "alright, just sit down and don't trip over, please."
twenty minutes later, spencer entered the bar, eyes sweeping until they found jj and the table of your old friends. he nodded at jj as greeting.
one of the girls blinked. "oh wow. you didn't say he looked like that."
"he's like a hot professor," another whispered.
you saw him. stood up way too fast. stumbled right into his chest.
"spence!" you cried, arms flinging around his neck.
he caught you quickly, his arms tight at your waist. "careful," he breathed, his nose buried in your hair.
you whirled away to your friends as if you'd just won a prize. "he's taken! so taken. all mine. back off."
they all erupted into laughter. jj put her hand across her face, trying so hard to prevent herself from losing it. "okay, casanova. let him breathe."
you didn't listen. your lips began leaving kisses on his cheek, his jaw, the edge of his neck, and his face flushed deep red.
"let's get you home," he said softly, scooping you up into his arms like you were nothing.
"bye guys!" you waved extravagantly. "jj i love you! and you're all so pretty!"
you wrapped both of your arms around his neck even as he attempted to put you into the car.
"baby," you mumbled, holding on. "don't go."
"i'm not leaving. i'm just buckling you in."
"you sing," you commanded as he removed your heels.
he hesitated. "sing what?"
"science lullaby."
"you want me to sing. the laws of thermodynamics?"
you nodded seriously. "yes. they comfort me." his voice did. but the same thing.
when you did finally get home. well, technically his place but now it felt like your home as well━━spencer attempted to get you to put on your heels again so that you wouldn't dirty your feet and so he could lock the car. you complained but wore it anyway.
once inside, you kicked them off like they'd personally offended you. "they betrayed me."
he stooped to put them down tidily beside the door. when he stood up, you were propped against the wall, bottom lip protruding.
"come on," he groaned lovingly, sweeping you up into his arms.
you breathed onto his shoulder. "you're so strong. do you work out? or are you just. spencer-y?"
he chuckled, carrying you into the bathroom. "let's get you cleaned up."
he sat you down on the side of the tub and picked up your makeup wipes. "close your eyes."
you did, scrunching up your lips. "kiss me."
"after i remove the mascara," he grumbled.
his hands were soft, tracing slow, gentle circles. "you always get this little smudge right here," he said, swiping under your left eye. "you never see it. but i do."
"you notice everything," you sighed, in awe.
"i do," he said again, softer.
he handed you your toothbrush then and stood over you like a hawk. "don't swallow it."
"you're like a sexy dentist," you said, toothpaste running down your chin.
he wiped it away. "you're going to regret all the things you said tonight."
after brushing, he put you into one of his large shirts and carried you to bed.( after making you urinate ). you held onto him like a koala, burying your face in the crook of his neck.
"love you," you breathed.
"love you too," he whispered, sweeping your hair aside.
you kissed him, slowly and deep, your hands fumbling with his shirt.
"baby," you muttered on his lips. "i want you."
he pulled away, his breathing ragged. "you're drunk."
"so?"
"so i'm not doing anything until you're sober."
you pouted. "but i want to."
"i know. and i love you. all of you. not drunk-you. tomorrow, okay?"
you scowled but nodded. "for keeps?"
"for keeps."
you wrapped into his chest, exhaling as your body relaxed into the blankets.
and even when your breaths grew slower and your hand remained tucked over his heart, spencer didn't sleep━━not yet. he simply watched you, drawing invisible shapes on your back, committing to memory the precise curve of your smile even in sleep.
ꨄ︎ 𝓒ontents : : inappropriate conversations. both wants to get into each other's undies. ooc. grammatical errors. use of "&". lowercase. talks about sex. talks about oral.
ꨄ︎ 𝓒ase file shelf.
ꨄ︎ 𝒲hispers of viana : :
001. woah.
002. again, i know nothing about sex,, i am a minor ( who is afraid to ever ever ever ever ever feel a long stick inside me ) & that makes you feel icky you are free to scroll or block me!
003. also don't bother looking at the time,,, i had to do 'em all over again because my dumbass forgot to screenshot
ꨄ︎ 𝓒ontents : : lawyer!reader. viana knows little about DSM-5. vv inaccurate about the lawyer job. viana reseached a few things about powell v. alabama. viana has read ONE of john grisham's novels. viana studied the m'naghten rule,,, a bit.. no humor at all. they're flirting, your honor. please squint, your honor. grammatical errors. lawyer & nerd dynamic. laugh.
ꨄ︎ 𝓒ase file shelf.
ꨄ︎ 𝒲hispers of viana : : so... i tried puttingmy knowloege intousemm..m.... BUT W THE HELP OF @laufeysgoddess !! my girl, guardian angel. also,, i tried to be NOTNOTNOT lazy 2day && used "and" 😋 lawyer!reader my baby ( && nonverbal!reader ) AUGHHH. my back hasbeen hurting sosososo bad these days dammit
"I thought I saw you sneak in here," Gideon said, the curiosity in the pleasant tone turning to concern when Spencer never lifted his head. "You alright?"
"I think Morgan spiked the punch," Spencer told him, reaching out to shake his now empty cup (and when had he finished it?), the small chips of ice all that were left of the two large
cubes he had started out with rattling around in the plastic.
He could all but imagine Gideon taking that information in; weighing it along with the fact that the younger man had all but snuck his way into his darkened office and had yet to open
his eyes and look at him.
"And you thought it would be better to face a possible drunk in here than out there where Morgan might make fun of you?"
"Would make fun of me," Spencer corrected though without heat. He was much too mellow and - let's face it - heading into sleepy, to worry about his fellow agent's teasing. Morgan may make him uncomfortable sometimes but he was never mean. Besides, he wasn't drunk, he was...pleasantly mellow. "And I thought a nap would be good."
This time he when he heard Gideon chuckle it sounded closer. Cautiously cracking open a eye, Spencer saw one blue denimed thigh resting on the table where his drink had been. The
wonderfully dark voice still held that hint of amusement. "So you're a sleepy drunk, then?"
In his current mood Spencer only tipped his head up at the older man, smiling happily. The wide yawn only added credence to the accusation. "Yep
"When Morgan first asked me to be his best man, I thought he was crazy. I had looked at him and asked, ‘Who are you marrying?’ He answered ‘Emily, you idiot. We have been dating for two years.’" He began, and then chuckled. "Apparently, no one in my wonderful team had decided to tell me. Then I found out they had a bet on when I’d figure it out."
He was interrupted when Rossi yelled out “I won!”
Hotch followed by saying “I was off by a week.”
Reid glared at them, and then continued. “I still don’t completely understand how I didn’t notice…” he trailed off as everybody laughed hysterically. “What?” he demanded, causing the audience to laugh even harder. “Do you want a statistic on office relationships? ‘Cause I have 29.” He said.
The audience instantly quieted.
"Yeah, that’s what I thought. Anyways, I clearly don’t know much about this subject, but the two of you clearly love each other. And it doesn’t take a profiler, a person with an IQ of 187, or a David Rossi to figure that out." He says, smiling.
Reid glided into Headquarters, a smile on his face and leap in his step. He was having a good day so far. Nothing could ruin it. All he needed now was a good cup of coffee… Where was it! Reid searched frantically for the coffee. It isn't here. It isn't here!
His heart was racing, his mind was in overdrive. What will he do! He would lose himself! He would go insane! He wouldn't live without his coffee. He just couldn't.
"Hey Pretty Boy, you alright?" Morgan asked walking over to the frantic Reid.
"It's all gone, Morgan, gone!" He shouted turning and gripping Morgan's shirt, "Gone!"
"Yeah I know, Strauss took the last lot, looks like you'll have t-" Morgan didn't even finish his sentence, as Reid's grip on him got tighter, Reid's eyes going wild, "I'll go get some from down the street, okay?" Morgan gave a forced grin, shaking his head.
"No, it'll take too long," Reid released his grip from Morgan, pondering on what to do. His eyes gave off an insane aurora.
"No, Reid you can't!" Morgan warned, frighten not for Reid though.
"But it's the only way, it's the only way," Reid said, marching determinedly up the stairs into Strauss's office.
Morgan was worried, he would kill her!
A faint mumble of what sounded like a good morning and then the banging and crashing of flying objects echoed throughout the whole room. An animal growl penetrated the walls and the screaming and yelling went on for what felt like hours on end. Morgan stood there horrified, unable to move, unable to speak. He should have just gone down the street like JJ warned him to, why didn't he believe when she said Reid gets angry without his coffee, why was he so stupid to say 'Nah, he'll be fine'. Now Strauss was paying the price for this foreseen turn of events.
For what felt like hours of waiting, Reid had emerge with a wide goofy grin on his face and walked down the steps towards Morgan. Reid took one sip.
"Blah what, is she afraid of getting sugar diabetes or something?" He mumbled before walking over to the counter and putting four loads of sugar into Strauss's… well his coffee. He took one sip and his grinned widen, his day was now perfect. Reid walked over to his desk and sat down.
JJ walked over to Morgan, who was still just standing there speechless.
"See, told you, you don't mess with Reid and his coffee," JJ stated smiling at Reid as he looked up to her with a big grin on his face.
"S-Should someone check on Strauss?" Morgan asked, seriously concerned for the woman.
"Nah, she'll be fine, she now knows not to have the last of the coffee, trust me I know from experience," JJ said before walking off to her office, leaving Morgan standing in the middle of the room, dumbfounded. He sure as hell now wasn't going to have the last of the coffee. He was warned.
