#s181

[thewertsearch]

You stash Terry in your PUZZLE MODUS. It's quite a handy modus, allowing you to captchalogue objects of any size, as long as you can fit them all in a finite space by maneuvering the cards around like a big game of Tetris.

*whistles*

Wallet Modus, eat your heart out. We have a new frontrunner for the best inventory system in the comic.

The space in your inventory is mainly hogged up by one incredibly huge thing. You guess you should get rid of it. But you can't shake the feeling you might need it someday, and you don't want to risk ditching it and be caught with your pants down later.

Well, a card that size could potentially contain the Frog Temple, or even the god damn Forge.

In fact, if it's not one of those two, I don't know what it is. They're the only structures I can think of that would require a card that size, unless Jake just arbitrarily captchalogued a chunk of the island.

On your worktable there are a few comic books starring your favorite heroine of all, SPIDER-GIRL. You don't know what it is, but there's something about a girl who has spidery powers and a sassy attitude that is just so cool to you. It's just another quirky fact about you that definitely doesn't have any greater significance, and never will.

Vriska Serket is going to eat you alive, spit out the bones, and toss what's left off a cliff.

Forcing the comics into your puzzle sylladex knocked out a bunch of other crap. You have seriously got to reorganize this thing. What were you even thinking captchaloguing all those bullets one at a time, anyway?

Do you know how long it's been since we've seen an honest-to-god modus shenanigan?

Too long. It has been too fucking long since we last saw Homestuck's most enduring gag. Four thousand pages in, and this shit still gets a chuckle out of me, and probably always will.

[thewertsearch]

You make a cautious motion toward a beckoning EXIT KNOB, when suddenly THE SAME WILD CHARACTER-SELECT SCREEN REAPPROACHES NONTHREATENINGLY!

I think we've got to go with Jake, unless one of the blondes is secretly clickable this time around.

...nope, doesn't look like it. Back to English class, then!

What was it you were up to? Oh right, you were going to pick these dang guns up off the floor when you were interrupted by some fleeting imperceptible thought. You kind of space out sometimes.

A reference to Jake's 'spacing out' feels like it could be a hint that he's the session's new Space Player. I guess he is living beside the Forge, but I still think there's currently more evidence for Doom.

You pick up your TWIN M9 BERETTAS, weapons of choice in an absurd arsenal inherited from an eccentric old woman.

I could absolutely see Grandma Jade rocking the Sassacre Slayers. She is a skilled markswoman, after all, and we've seen her abilities in action a couple of times.

You think your bed is some sort of electronic gadget. You're pretty sure those bedpost globes are supposed to glow like light bulbs under certain circumstances. But you've never been able to figure out what purpose it serves. Just more mysterious junk inherited from your eclectic GRANDMA.

No Dreambot for Jake, I take it. Guess that makes sense - that bot was Crockertech, and Grandma Jade didn't inherit the company like Grandpa Jake did.

He's still got an upgraded bed, though, so my guess is that Jade attempted the Dreambot project, but simply didn't have the resources to complete it.

She also gave you these bedsheets when you were very young, which you adore, but only for sentimental reasons.

It looks like the only lusi depicted on Jake's bedsheets are the twelve we're already familiar with. That catlike silhouette in the center-bottom is a slight question mark, but I think it's supposed to be a very skinny Pounce De Leon.

I was going to ask where Jade got a bedsheet which references the Alternian Players, but then I remembered that her adoptive mother was an Alternian Player. Jade probably swiped some of her things on the way out, the cheeky minx.

You aren't too keen on monsters.

Yeesh, the Medium's not going to be much fun for our boy.

You'd expect an adventure-lover to be a lot more enthusiastic about fighting monsters, but I guess we all have our phobias. At least he has a ranged weapon, so he won't have to get up close and personal with his Underlings.

A lot of these posters are fairly transparent references to Lord English. The Mummy alludes to the weird sarcophagus he summoned in his Intermission, Weekend at Bernie's is about corpse-puppeting someone like he did with Scratch, and The Incredible Hulk explains itself.

Special shout out to this poster, though, which I'm pretty sure is literally titled Time-Travelling Demon. Subtle!

[thewertsearch]

Speaking of John, this is his birthday present. It is the project that has been taking up all your time lately. And today is the deadline to finish it! [...] The TRANSMATERIALIZER you have been using to ship it back and forth is wired to sync up your flow of time with hers, so it's not like you can just take forever with it, and send to the exact time she needs it - you've thought of that!

Dang, Jake. Where'd you get the inter-Scratch teleporter?

It's unfortunate that Jake wasn't clued-in on Jade's situation, because he might have been able to teleport her entire team right into his house. That'd certainly have been a lot more straightforward than messing with Fourth Walls, and Dave's time machines could circumvent most of the logistical issues introduced by the time-lock.

At some point in the early 20th century, Jade gave this robo-rabbit to John, and then later it must have been wound up back with Jade... somehow? Then she... uh... removed all the robot parts, hung on to it until she was an old woman, and gave it to you?

Jake's confused, because his theories are based on the false assumption that his pen-pal is his grandmother. It's a perfectly reasonable assumption for him to make, but it's poisoning his speculation, and he has no way to correct the error until he's provided with more information.

Welcome to the Homestuck liveblogging experience, Jake English.

There's just one problem! Mr. Kiser here cannot be completed and tested today without a source of power! [...] You have been plundering all of your devices for uranium to refuel the TRANSMATERIALIZER, which requires huge amounts of power any time it sendificates or appearifies the package from the past. Seems to you like excessive energy consumption for just a simple time machine, but what do you know? Unless it's doing something besides shipping it across time.

Fair enough, I suppose - and anyway, this problem will solve itself later. Once you enter the Medium, you'll be able to alchemize as much fuel as you like.

As much as it troubles your pride to admit, this project wouldn't be possible without help from your other two technologically savvy friends. And you are slowly coming to the regrettable conclusion that you will not be able to solve this uranium dilemma without asking for Strider's assistance.

Wh... why does Little Bro have a chunk of uranium.

[thewertsearch]

TG: ok jane what im saying is that […] TG: it was a fuckin cakewake TG: **cakewalk […] TG: what i mean is shit wasnt even guarded TG: it was just TG: some files TG: that were there TG: unsecured […] GG: Hrm. That is a bit puzzling. I thought this software was highly proprietary. TG: i told you TG: she wants you to play TG: wants us all to

Needs you to, more like. When it comes down to it, the Empress knows that these kids must play Sburb - and, deep down, so does Jane. If she didn't, her dream self wouldn't be awake.

Honestly, we may as well skip all this pretense; Jane enters the Medium today. The universe will make this hapen, whether she likes it or not.

GG: But what doesn't add up about your story is, GG: I believe SOMEBODY doesn't want me to play. GG: How else do you explain the recent attempts on my life?

Wait, what? This doesn't make any sense.

Anyone clued-in enough to target Jane should also know to delay her assassination until she's entered the Medium. If they kill her before she starts her prophesied session, they'll just doom the timeline.

TG: its just more connivings of the witch […] TG: wouldnt put it past her TG: makes you feel perpsecuted TG: redoubles your determination to play

And this doesn't make sense, either. Why would the Condesce risk dooming the timeline for a cheap intimidation tactic? She's working for English, so she definitely knows how Paradox Space works.

No, these murder attempts feel like they're been perpetrated by someone who has no idea what they're doing - someone completely ignorant to the wider context of the story. If we'd already entered the session, I'd suspect the Courtyard Droll - but as it stands, I don't really have any guesses.

GG: THE FLAPPY SWINGY DOODAD. GG: THE ARM DEALIE. [...] GG: IT'S UP. [...] TG: doesnt that mean not the right thing TG: like ur susposed to put it up if you want something taken away not have the guy put it up if mail comes TG: i think your mail man is quiet possibly a dumbass GG: NO, WHO CARES ABOUT THAT! [...]

Jane, you've been correcting the girl's spelling since she got here. Just take the damn L.

[bloggers-secretfiles]

Story #181:

(We’ll just hide the names of the real people with the names of the characters. Share :>)

A year ago…

“Achi Camille! Asan ka ba?”

“Ay sorry Kristelle. Nauna na ako, masama pakiramdam ko eh. Enjoy ha! Dami papabols diyan. Bye!”

At binabaan ako ng telepono. Ano ba naman yan. Nakakainis. Ay, hindi. Okay lang pala. Sanay naman na akong iniiwan eh. Iniwan ng kapatid dito sa party, at nagp-planong tumunganga na lang buong gabi. Masyadong sosyal. Ang daming mga diamonds. Ang boring!

”Uhm. Miss, let’s dance?”

“O-okay?” Pagdating namin sa ballroom, dun ko lang narealize, and pogi pala netong nagaya sa akin sumayaw.

“Kristelle Perez, right? Ako nga pala si Spade Young. Blockmate mo kaya ako, hindi lang talaga pansinin.” Wala akong masabi, ang pogi niya talaga. He looks like Jacob… Kamukhang kamukha .  

“My dad was invited dito sa party niyo, kaya sinama na niya ako. Ang tahimik mo pala talaga no?” Tapos tumawa siya. Nakakalusaw yung ngiti niya, I remember Jacob in him.

 ”Ha? Hindi ah. Ang ingay ko nga oh.” Tumawa ulit siya. Isa pang tawa,  isa pa talaga. Nanlalambot na tuhod ko. Yung ngiti niya, parang kay Jacob. Maya-maya, inaya na niya ako umupo. Nagkakwentuhan kami saglit, and if you’ll look at him, parang ang saya saya niyang tao.

 ”Good evening Ms. Perez,  uuwi na po kami ng anak ko ha? Ingat kayo.” At umalis na sila.

Pagkauwi, nagbihis at nagayos na ako para sa pagtulog. Pero, nag-online muna ako… One friend request… “Spade Young added you as a friend.”

Tinignan ko profile niya. Puro picture lang niya, pati ng mga kaibigan niya andoon. Nagpapakastalker nanaman ako. Kamukha kasi talaga niya eh. Uy! May status siya… ”Bumped and talked with the girl I’ve been admiring for months. ♥” Spade Young… Ah, oo! Yung team B basketball player ng school. Siya rin yung scholar ni Daddy, siya rin yung crush ng nakakarami.

 *

Nakatulog pala ako…  “OMG! Late nako!” Nagmamadali na akong nagayos at pumunta na sa school. 5 minutes late na ako! Malayo pa building ko! Takbuhin na to! Nang biglang… boogsh.!!!

  “Oh, Kristelle, bakit ka nagmamadali?”Ano ba yan, nakaharang!

 “Ha? sige malalate na ako, bye!” Nagsimula na ulit ako tumakbo at…

 “Kristelle walang klase!” Napahinto ako sa narinig ko. Si Spade pala itong nakaharang. Oo nga pala, blockmate.

 “So, breakfast tayo?” Sumama ako sa kanya.

Ang saya niya talaga kausap. Parang ang tagal na namin magkakilala.

Araw-araw nang naulit yun. Hindi yung pagkansela ng klase ha, kung hindi yung pagkikita namin. Sa kadahilanan na rin naman na parehas kami ng schedule. We became best buds. Minsan nga ay napagkakamalan pang boyfriend ko siya.

One day, ininvite niya ako na pumunta sa house nila kasi kakauwi lang daw ng Mom niya from US. Syempre, um-oo agad ako. Gusto ko na rin kasing makilala ang pamilya niya. Sa dami kasi ng mga napagkkwentuhan namin, yun lang ang madalang niyang mabanggit, ang family niya.

Then the day came, ang ganda pala ng nanay niya, ang daddy naman niya ang gwapo pa rin kahit nakapang-bahay. Kaya naman pala ganito ang itsura nitong kaibigan ko.  “Iha, upo muna kayo diyan ha. Malapit na matapos yung niluluto ko. Parating na rin naman kuya niya.” May kuya pala siya.

“May kuya ka pala, hindi ka nagsasabi.”

“Ah, oo. Hindi ko pa pala nakkwento sayo? Tatlo kaming lalaki, yung isa, nasa Bicol nagttrabaho. Yung isa naman, kakauwi lang din kasabay ni mommy.”

“So, daddy mo lang pala kasama mo dito dati?”

“Every two weeks, umuuwi si Kuya Mico. Kasama rin namin si Kuya Jacob dati, sumunod lang siya sa US para magpagamot.”

Broom… Broom… Broom!!!

At pumasok na siya.

Pumasok na siya. Ang daming nagbago. The hair, his bod, even yung aura sa loob ng bahay, especially the way he looks at me.

Pumasok na siya; yung kapatid ni Spade, yung nagpagamot sa U.S, yung kaibigan ko noon, yung kuya-kuyahan ko, yung taong minahal ko, yung taong pinaasa ako, at yung taong unang dumurog sa puso kong hanggang ngayon ay hindi ko maayos.

Dinaanan niya lang kami. Walang niisang salitang binanggit. Umakyat lang siya sa kwarto niya. At pagkapasok ni tita ng bahay, ay agad niyang binasag ang katahimikang dinala ng kuya ni Spade. 

“Spade, andyan na kuya mo? Ahia, baba na. Kain na tayo.”

Bumaba na siya at sinamahan kami sa pagkain. “Bago lang itong bahay namin. Dati doon kami sa may Valenzuela.” Paninimula ni tita sa kwentuhan. Sila sila lang naman ang naguusap.

Yung bahay sa Valenzuela, kung saan nakatira si Jacob dati. Kung saan nila iniwan si Jacob kasama yung tita niya. Kung saan ko siya nakitang tumawa, umiyak, at mahirapan. Hindi yung ganito, ngayon ko lang siya nakita na parang walang pakielam sa mundo. Ang lamig ng mga tingin niya. Nang tumigil na sila sa kwentuhan at nagpatuloy sa pagkain, ay nagsalita si Jacob.

“Girlfriend mo?”

Napatingin lang ako sa kanya. Ang lamig ng boses, mas malamig pa sa tingin niya.

“Hindi, bestfriend lang.” Sagot naman ni Spade.

“Bestfriend tapos pinaggagastusan?” Parang gulong gulo na utak ko, nagugulat ako sa kanilang dalawa.

“Oh tapos? Ano? Masama ba? Eh ano kung gusto ko nga siya?” Naalala ko yung status niya nung inadd niya ako. Ako pala iyon. Yung babaeng tinutukoy niya.

“Tama na, nakakahiya sa bisita.” Sabat naman ni Tita sa kanila.

Tumayo na si Jacob papuntang kusina, at habang kumukuha ng tubig… “Subukan mo lang saktan yan. Mayayari ka sa akin.” Wala pa ring reaksyon at wala akong maramdaman na emosyon sa pagsasalita niya.

“Akala ko ba, wala kang pakielam sa akin? Wag mo akong papakielaman sa mga desisyon ko. At kahit naman anong mangyari, I wouldn’t do that!” Tumaas na boses ni Spade. Nakukuha na yata niya. Mula sa aura ng kuya niya, sa gulat ko ng makita ang kuya niya. Alam na niya yata. Nakakatakot. Kinakabahan ako sa kung ano pang maririnig ko.

“Wala akong pakielam sayo! Sa kanya meron!” At dito, sa puntong ito, tumaas na rin ang boses ni Jacob.

“Kapag yan, napaiyak mo, kapag yan, sinaktan mo. Tignan lang natin. Kalimutan mo nang tatlo tayo magkakapatid.”

Napaluha ako sa sinabi niya. Bumabalik lahat. Yung sakit, lahat ng nararamdaman ko nung kami pa... Ay, hindi pala naging kami… Lahat ng sakit nung umasa ako, nung pinaasa ako.

“Sige. Ma, dad. Magpapahinga na ako.” Nasa hagdanan na siya nang…

“At ikaw, pagsisisihan mo ng sobra sobra, kapag sinaktan mo yang babaeng yan.” Hindi ko mapigilang ang hindi pagiyak dahil sa narinig ko, dahil hindi ako makapaniwala. Nakakahiya. Sa family nila. Kaya nagpaalam na lang ako na uuwi na lang.

Hinabol ako ni Spade. “Ihahatid na kita.” Ilang streets away na lang sa bahay, nagsimula siyang magsalita… “Yung kaibigan mo, na naging kuya-kuyahan mo, na araw-araw mong kausap, na nagpafall sa isang babaeng kagaya mo. Yung sakitin mong kaibigan, Yung masipag mong kaibigan na gagawin lahat makatulong lang sa Tita. Yung masayahin, magaling sumayaw, at masaya kasama na kaibigan mo. That’s Kuya hindi ba? Si Kuya Jacob?” Umiyak lang ako. Lagi naman akong umiiyak eh. Walang magawa, walang masabi, umiyak lang.

    Umiiyak akong nagising.

Parang totoo. Ang sakit. Birthday niya kahapon. Sana totoo na lang kahit masakit. Sana totoo na lang para kahit papaano, nakita ko pa siya.

Sana nga, totoong nagsisisi siya sa noong sinaktan niya ako.

Sana totoo na lang kahit punong puno ng pagsisisi ang panaginip na yun.

Sana nga totoong kasama niya magulang niya

Sana, totoong nakapagpagamot siya.

At sana talaga nagkatotoo iyon, kahit masakit, kahit nasaktan niya ako.

Kasi mas nasasaktan ako ngayon, kapag pinupuntahan ko siya, nagkkwento, inaabot ang favorites niya at nagsisindi ng kandila.