#sadish

[page-2-ids]

Sadish: A gender that is, itself, a sadist in a sexual sense

The flag is inspired by my associations with sadism

No suggested pronouns

[justsomerandomfanfic]

Show Me That You Love Me Too - Eddie Kaspbrak X Richie Tozier

Title: Show Me That You Love Me Too

Eddie Kaspbrak X Richie Tozier

Additional Characters: IT, Bill, Stanley, Mike, Ben, Beverly, and Eddie's Mom (Mentioned)

WC: 1,598

Warnings: Mentions of death, mentions of killing, emotions

Eddie and Richie sat together on the grassy ground, eating ice cream. Everyone else in their friend group was talking nearby the quarry. Richie didn't want to talk about It. He wanted to find some sort of piece in his crazy life. Eddie wanted the same, so the two boys went for some ice cream before heading over, and for once in their lives, they felt at peace. Until Bill came running over to them.

"Hey, guys!" He asked excitedly as he approached. 

"You're not going to believe what I just found out!"

"What's that?" Eddie asked with a grin. 

Eddie was glad that his life had somewhat turned around. He still had to deal with crappy bullies and his overbearing mother, but It was gone. Eddie could finally live out his life without having to look over his shoulder when he was alone. He wasn't ever alone. He had his friends. 

Billy opened his palm to show a perfectly circular rock, dark tan in color, no bigger than a quarter. 

"Wow, that's cool!" Eddie spoke, as Richie just looked on and continued to lick his ice cream. 

Richie had his worries, sure. Almost the same as Eddie's. But, high school was growing closer and fast. The impending doom of longer school hours, waking up at almost dawn and more homework worried him. But, in the back of his mind, he knew he would be okay, somewhat. He and his friends beat a child-eating alien from space after all. 

"Rich," Eddie called out, grabbing Richie's attention.

Richie turned to look at Eddie, confused.

"What's up, Eddie Spaghetti?" He asked with a joking smirk. 

Eddie's eyes immediately narrowed as he gently punched Richie's arm.

"Don't call me that, I was talking to you," Eddie spoke, finishing his cone.

"Oh, sorry, man." Richie apologized, quickly eating the rest of his ice cream cone and looking into Eddie's eyes.

"No, it's fine. You know, sometimes we have to talk about stuff like this, right?" Eddie asked and Richie wiped his hands on his Hawaiian shirt, pretending not to know what Eddie was talking about. 

"We should talk about this, Richie. It's important." Bill spoke up, as Beverly, Ben, Stanley, and Mike walked over to join them. 

Richie stayed silent, knowing that they were going to drag him into talking about it eventually.

"We're going to high school in three months," Ben spoke, running his hands through his sandy brown hair. 

The group was silent, taking the information in. 

It felt like only yesterday when the Losers Club defeated It. They were just kids, living in a world where they shouldn't have to deal with all the real-life crap until they were older. Even before It they were dealing with it. They all were.

"It felt like summer just started," Bev spoke and Stan nodded, as the five joined Eddie and Richie in the grass. "Soon we'll hardly have time altogether," Stan added.

"No more jumping in the quarry or random bike rides to and from each other's houses. No more arcade or ice cream..." Stan finished but Ben shook his head.

"We can still do all those things. We still have the weekends." 

Bev nodded, plucking the grass and letting them flow in the soft breeze. 

"But we all know that we aren't staying here forever." Richie spoke up, Eddie immediately turning to him.

"What do you mean?" Eddie asked him, only for Richie to shrug in response.

"I can't stay here forever. Once I'm done with high school, I'm out of here." 

"I don't want to stay in this town more than I need to." Ben spoke, as he began braiding some stray dandelions. 

"I bet we're all going to leave sooner or later. Go to college, get jobs, get a life." Mike spoke, with Stan agreeing.

Soon the group of five began talking about the spooky old house, Eddie turned back to Richie.

"Why didn't you come to me? Why with all of the others?" Eddie asked him, his voice quiet.

"Because I know you're leaving too." Richie answered.

"Yeah, we all are. But that's not the point. Why didn't you tell me earlier?" Eddie asked, but Richie shrugged again.

"I didn't think it was a big deal. After high school, we're all leaving and probably won't see each other. We'll be way too busy with our own lives." 

Richie explained, "Why? You worried about me or something, Eds?" Richie teased and Eddie groaned, growing annoyed.

"We're not going to be gone for too long. It will be back, and we will have to kill it." Eddie muttered. 

"I'm going to ignore what you just said and go back to you being worried for me." Richie joked and Eddie sighed, turning to look at their friends.

"That's not it, Richie. I'm just...I am worried about you. You're my best friend, I don't want anything bad to happen to you. To any of us." Eddie confessed.

"I'm scared. I don't know what to do. It feels like I can't go back to a 'normal' life. After high school, I don't know what to do." 

Richie wrapped an arm around Eddie's shoulders, pulling him close. "Me too, Eds. But, for now, we have each other." Richie tried to reassure him. 

❤❤❤

Eddie sat on his bed, his algebra homework in front of him. Four months into high school and he's only passing with B's. He wanted all A's. It was late into the night, the sun had gone down a long time ago. The birds stopped singing, owls replacing their calls. His mother went to bed ages ago after finishing her game show. Yawning, Eddie rubbed his eyes, growing tired and his mind becoming blurry. It was hard to think, but he had to get his work done before tomorrow. 

Stretching his arms in the arm and rolling his shoulders, Eddie tried to sit up straight when a pebble hit his bedroom window. Pausing, waiting in the silence, Eddie listened. He couldn't hear anything but the wind and chirping crickets. Then came another pebble, then another. Eddie sighed and got up from his bed, heading to his window. Opening his window, Eddie peered down below. There, Richie stood, giving a wave and smile, fixing his thick-rimmed glasses. 

"Oh, Edpunzel, Edpunzel, let down your hair!" Richie yelled from down below, using a terrible British accent.

Eddie quickled shushed him, bringing a finger to his lips in haste. 

"Shut up, idiot! My mom is sleeping! You'll wake her up." He whisper-yelled down at him, only for Richie to laugh.

Eddie waited as Richie climbed his way up the trilles on the side of the house, kicking one leg over the window ledge and then the other. Shutting the window, Eddie turned around to Richie and glared, crossing his arms. 

"You almost woke up the whole neighborhood with your yelling." Eddie reprimanded, Richie just brushing it off.

"You're fine, Eds. No one woke up." He spoke, flopping on Eddie's bed and picking up his algebra book.

Eddie walked over and grumply snatched the book out of Richie's hands. "You would have woken my mom, and then we both would've been in huge trouble." He scolded him, sitting down beside him.

"So, you've been up doing homework this whole time?" Richie completely changing the subject.

Edie nodded, "I want to bring my grade up." 

To that, Richie gave a small laugh, wrapping his arm around to give Eddie a noogie. "You're such a nerd, Eds. You're already passing. I know, I copied you in Science." Richie spoke, as Eddie pushed his arms away.

"I want to make sure I can get into a good college. What about you, like you said, you copy me. We only have two shared classes. You must be failing the others." Eddie remarked, as Richie turned to him in mock offense. 

"I'll have you know, Ed, I have Cs. That is still passing." 

Eddie shook his head with a small smile, as the two went into a short silence, though it felt like it dragged on for hours. 

"What are we going to do?" Eddie whispered, voice cracking.

Richie sighed, bringing his arm around Eddie's shoulder, bringing the shorter boy closer to him. Eddie sighed and snuggled in closer to his side. 

"We just go with it. I'll try and keep in contact, and I know you will. You just can't get enough of me." Richie spoke, trying to be serious.

Eddie smiled, but it faded quickly, "You're going to leave, aren't you?" He asked, as Richie nodded, Eddie's heart racing.

"Yeah, I am."

Even though he had said he was going to leave before, Eddie couldn't process it. Now, Eddie could. Richie was going to leave. Just like he was. They were going to go their separate ways. He would leave and live his life in Beverly Hills as a comedian or something. Eddie's smile slowly graced his face as he thought of that. Richie continued to hold Eddie close, as he thought where Eddie would go. Looking at the algebra book in front of them, Richie smiled, Eddie would probably become an accountant or something. Looking all cute wearing a suit, working in an office cubicle everyday. He would come home after a long work day as Richie would be working on writing his next sketch. Perfectly domestic. 

Eddie looked up, noticing Richie's smile. "What's got you smiling like that?" 

Richie's smile widened, eyes looking off with a content look in his eyes. "Your mom."

“Ugh, I hate you.”

“Oh, you love me.”

“Yeah, yeah I do.”

[gecesinbana]

Uzun bir yol. Nereden geldiğimi bilmiyorum,nereye gitmek istediğimi de. Bu gökyüzü bir başka sanki, yeryüzündeki tüm acıların hıncını bulutlardan çıkarıyormuş gibi yağmur yağdırıyor, isyan edermişcesine bir haykırış, sonu olman bir karanlık. ..

Karşıma kimin çıkacağından habersiz adım atıyorum yolun sonuna doğru. Keşke bu yolun sonunda sen olsan...

Ama biliyorum sen çoktan atlatmışsın bu kabusu. Geçmişsin bu yoldaki insanların hüzünden, kuşların anlamsız uçmasından, bu yoldan geçerken anıların birer birer zihnine hakimiyet kurmuş. Yolun sonundaaa uçsuz bucaksız bir uçurum tıpkı gökyüzü gibi. Esen rüzgarın ağacın yapraklarını savuran sesiyle bir adım atmışın ve bir adım daha. Bastığın yerdeki taş ayağının altından kayarak uçurumdan düşüyor. Öylece izliyorsun taşın düşmesini .Soğuk havanın yüzünde bıraktığı esintiyle gözünden bir yaş düşüyor. Derin bir nefes alarak tüm sıkıntılarının biteceğini düşünerek bırakcakken kendini bir el tutmuş elinden , yeniden asla bu yola geri dönmeyerek sıfırdan başlamışsın seni kurtaran ellerle birlikte. İşte bende aynı yoldayım... bir umut beklemeden uçuruma yaklaşıyorum. Çünkü biliyorum benim senin gibi elimden tutacak biri yok...

[cherriontop]

Alpha Tony pt.2

Part 1 here

After coming to terms with his feelings, it’s a lot harder for Tony to keep his secret from Peter. He wants so badly to tell the omega every time they cook together and end up making a mess in the kitchen and on themselves. He wants so badly to tell every time they are curled up on the couch watching tv, with Peter’s head resting on his chest. 

Tony’s partner at work and friend, Steve, helps him realize that he needs to take the chance or he’ll be miserable for the rest of his life thinking about what he missed out on. Steve helps him get the courage to tell Peter, and Tony even goes out of his way to pick up flowers for the omega

But when he gets home, his plans are thwarted. Peter is on the bathroom floor, curled up in the bathtub and sobbing his eyes out. 

Tony goes to him immediately, checking him over for any injuries, but the sobbed “I’m pregnant” is not what he was expecting at all.

There’s three pregnancy tests sitting on the counter that Tony hadn’t seen in his haste to get to Peter. All three of them are positive, and Tony swallows down everything he had planned in order to comfort Peter. 

Peter doesn’t stop crying, and Tony carefully picks him up and brings him to bed, curling up under the covers with him. He lets Peter cling to him and cry into his shirt, soaking the material around his face, but Tony doesn’t mind a bit. His hands are rubbing Peter’s back absentmindedly, as the alpha thinks about what this will mean for them. 

It’s clear that Peter doesn’t want to be pregnant, and Tony’s also positive that the alpha who kidnapped him is the father. He’s still on the loose, something that haunts Tony every day, and the fact that he can’t reassure Peter that this would never happen again makes him feel like a shitty cop. But the alpha has just disappeared and dropped off the face of the earth. 

Peter cries himself to sleep, and Tony doesn’t stop holding him or touching him even when he’s no longer conscious.

The next day, Tony brings Peter to the doctor for a check up, and the doctor checks out his broken wrist, his more intimate areas, and his ribs. Tony isn’t there for the examination, but he waits outside, his leg bouncing anxiously. The two of them have had such a nice two months together that it’s hard for Tony to fathom that this baby might tear them apart. After all, it’s not Tony’s baby, so why would Peter want to stay with him? Why does Tony want him to stay, baby and all? 

When they drive home, Peter is silent. Usually the two of them can’t stop talking, but today Peter is just staring out the window, hands folded in his lap. Tony wants to reach out and take one, give it a squeeze, and reassure Peter that everything is going to be fine, but he can’t. Peter isn’t his. He doesn’t know that things will be okay, or even if Peter wants to stay with him. 

When they get home, Peter goes inside quickly and hides away in his room. The alpha in Tony is desperate to soothe Peter’s hurt, but he decides to bake instead. Three hours later the kitchen is a mess, Tony’s covered in flour somehow, and there’s burnt cookies sitting on the counter. 

The smell drags Peter out of his room for the first time, and even though his cheeks are tinged red and splotchy and his eyes are puffy from crying, he laughs until Tony joins in laughing. 

After that, things go back almost to normal, although there is less touching than before. Tony wants to drag Peter into his side again when they watch movies, but he’s scared the omega will react poorly. He tries to give Peter space even though his insides are screaming for him to hold on and never let go. 

And then Tony gets busy at work with a case involving a drug dealer that somehow always managed to slip away under the cops’ nose. Being at work helps him forget about how much he wants to mate Peter, or how badly he wishes the baby in Peter’s stomach was his. 

Until he comes home one night and finds Peter on the couch, wearing nothing but one of Tony’s old t-shirts and some lacey pink panties. He’s asleep, which Tony is grateful for when he can’t help but drool over the thin fabric covering Peter’s body. He isn’t sure when Peter had gotten them, but he’d given the omega free reign over his credit card to buy himself clothes and groceries. 

There’s a slight swell of Peter’s stomach, and Tony itches to cup it in his hands. His alpha wants to pamper Peter and keep him off his feet, babying him until he gives birth. But he’s not sure if Peter wants that from him. 

Somehow, Tony manages to get to his bedroom without being caught staring, and even though he’s hard from seeing Peter like that, he lets it be. It’s not about the sex with Peter. He just wants to love the omega. 

The next morning, Tony wakes up to the smell of something cooking, and he wanders out in his pajamas to find Peter making waffles. He’s still in the same clothes as the previous day, and Tony’s eyes wander to the bump nearly hidden under the soft shirt. It amazes him that there’s a baby in there, and he’s almost giddy with excitement at the thought of having little feet run around the house. 

But Peter’s cheery “I’ve started looking into apartments” sends ice right into his heart. He freezes, taking in the sight of Peter’s bright smile and slightly flushed cheeks. He starts talking about all the federal aid he qualifies for--enough to get his own place--and he doesn’t even notice how Tony’s heart is breaking. How he feels like someone has ripped his heart out of his chest

That morning in the shower, Tony cries, and he isn’t afraid to admit it. He doesn’t want Peter to leave. 

Peter is just so happy about everything that Tony doesn’t have the heart to ruin it for him by telling him his feelings. It would only make things harder for the omega. 

Steve disagrees but he helps comfort Tony anyway

In the evenings, Peter sits beside Tony on the couch, and instead of watching tv or talking about science, Peter shows him in detail every apartment that he’s looking at. They all look lovely, and the way Peter talks about them makes Tony’s heart ache and want to provide for him at the same time. He doesn’t know how to deal with it. 

Peter’s got one hand on the laptop, showing Tony the apartments, and the other hand is caressing his baby bump. Tony’s not listening to a word, just staring at the swell of his stomach. Peter doesn’t seem to notice, and finally, Tony can’t take it anymore. 

He interrupts Peter to tell him about how nice it was to have Peter around the house, cleaning, cooking, and keeping the alpha company. He spills about how badly he wants to protect the omega from every harm he could possibly face. He tells him about how much he’s in love with the beautiful omega he saved and how he never wants to let him go. 

Peter is quiet, his hand stilling on his stomach. Tony’s heart is in his throat and beats loudly in his ears. He can’t bear to look at Peter, and yet he can’t bear to look away, either. 

It takes a moment before Peter reacts, and when he does, all he does is excuse himself and leave to his room. Tony hears the door shut and it slices his heart in two. He’s spilled his guts, and Peter left. He didn’t feel the same. 

An ache spread in Tony’s chest as he slowly got up and made his way to the bedroom. He removes his clothes with a numbness he didn’t know existed, staring blankly at his bed. He barely feels himself crawling into the tangle of blankets, and he’s not even aware he’s in bed until his eyes focus on the ceiling. 

He gave it his best, but Peter obviously didn’t want him. 

Or so he thought until he heard the door creak open and felt a warm body slip into his bed, wrapping their arms around Tony and laying their head on his shoulder. Nothing was said as Tony settled his hands on the smooth skin of Peter’s back, a smile on his face as he drifted off to sleep. 

Tag list:  @cherrypeter

[kylescheiblehateclub]

Consider

Calum, wearing this

[ovvcourse]

I want to talk to someone but I don’t have the energy to have a conversation. I just want to listen to someone.

[smol-gay-enby]

Drew this while driving to Disneyland

[imagines-of-the-creed]

It might sound weird, but I love listening to break-up songs and love songs in general despite the fact that I've never been in a relationship and felt that type of love being protected on me. Its something about the tone and the vocals on certain songs that I like, but they leaves door open for me for my imagination to run wild to think about someone actually loving me. Sorry, it got sad, but I just spilled all my current thoughts, oops? :/)

I'll stop appearing o your dash now, I'll get back to writing my paper...maybe