Paradox Mon - The Past (and Future) in our Present!
The Open Source Tech Festival of Phoebe city was absolutely abuzz with activity this weekend. People have come from around the world, dressed in their finest “nerd” chic. Linux’s iconic Eiscue, Tux, adorns bags, jackets, and banners as attendees make their way from panel to panel.
I have the singular honor of interviewing Professor Montague, one of our region’s foremost experts on Paradox Pokemon. He is a grizzled figure. Far older than one would expect for someone speaking on a phenomenon so recently discovered, but he seems more than comfortable as he sits down to speak with me. After introductions I, of course, begin with the foremost question on everybody’s mind.
Q: “What do Paradox Pokemon have to do with Open Source tech?”
A: “Paradox Pokemon, whether past or future have a lot to teach us. Future Paradox pokemon are the most obvious. They give us a glimpse into what we will achieve in the future. By studying future Paradox mon we can help ourselves along a bit more smoothly, hopefully avoiding whatever pitfalls we might have otherwise run into. While the relevance of past Paradox mon isn’t as clear, it is, I promise, very relevant. The evolution of tool usage greatly parallels our relationships with the world around us, including, perhaps especially, pokemon. Technology is a tool, and tools are technology, so by studying Pokemon from the past, we can hopefully come to a greater understanding of how our own technological evolution took place.”
Q: “Do you mean to say that Pokemon are tools?”
A: “Oh certainly not! Perish the thought! Pokemon are our partners, and therefore our own progress must accommodate for their own unique physiologies. The question is not, how were the pokemon used, so much as, how do the pokemon inform the advancements we have made and will make in the future.”
Q: “Are you concerned about any sort of disruption in the timeline due to these studies?”
A: “Hardly. I think the universe is better at self-correction than we are at fouling it up! Besides which, the Purrloin is already out of the bag, so to speak. It is up to us as scientists to ensure these studies are done as safely and ethically as possible.”
Q: “Do you have a favorite Paradox Pokemon?”
A: “Perhaps a bit unoriginal, but I am quite fond of Iron Treads. It might look a bit menacing, but truthfully they’re actually awfully gentle beasts if given the right enrichment and environment.”
Q: “Do you have any advice for trainers who have, or looking to acquire a Paradox Pokemon of their own?”
A: “Good heavens! I honestly wouldn’t suggest trainers pick up any such pokemon so recently discovered. We still know so little about them! Alas, I suppose many trainers already have managed to get ahold of them.
My advice is, first of all, your local pokemon center will likely not have information specific to your Paradox mon’s physiology. They do have the resources to get answers to those questions, such as we have any, but you may be waiting a bit longer than usual during Center visits.
Second, if your Paradox mon’s temperament seems a bit extreme, try contacting Pokeroid Central. They are a fantastic resource for the creatures, though I for one am still trying to wrap my head around the fact that we can communicate with them at all!
Finally, if you find that you are unable to care for your Paradox mon, it is very VERY important that you do not simply release them! Neither should you leave them at a shelter. We still know so little about these fascinating creatures. Your local shelter may not be equipped to handle them, and releasing them into the wild could have catastrophic consequences for the ecology of your region. Instead, please take them to a Pokemon Center where they have the tools to send them to a facility that will best suit their needs.”
Q: “Thank you so much for your time, Professor. Is there anything else you would like to share with our readers?”
A: “The world is wondrous and her secrets are immeasurable. In the interest of progress we can always use more curious minds to ask questions and study her mysteries. Paradox mon only scratch the surface of what there is to learn, so never stop being curious!”
//idk if @pokeroid-central is still active, but I wanted to give them a shoutout
