#saintpost

[youmeanddid]

Can you explain what an endogenous system is? I only recently started educating myself aand I’m a little behind on vocabulary.

a system not formed by trauma, which is impossible, so either they’re a traumatic system who has completely forgotten their trauma, or more likely they have their own mental health issues that aren’t DID, yet they’re adamant that it is.

It is IMPOSSIBLE to have a system without trauma. That is precisely how systems are made, that is the ONLY way systems are made.

- Saint

[scriptapi]

i constantly think about the ezra koenig tweet that goes like “be careful when u meet a new squad it may just be a group of people kicked out of other squads who formed a terrible frankensquad” 

[eatsrust]

knife cat

[ichmatsu]

do not lie to me we both know youre about to crash and burn

[66x6x6x6x6x6]

hey im

hey whats up gamers i remade and im at uhhh @lmaka now!! ill think of a better url tomorrow but im gonna try to re-follow all my pals so lmk if i forget to follow you

[youmeanddid]

Ok follow up my parents we’re sort of emotionally abusive ig, but I don’t think it was severe enough to be traumatic. They raised me in a cult, but I escaped (mentally, not physically) fairly young? So I wouldn’t say any of that’s traumatic enough for did

firstly, just because we have a disorder that doesn’t mean that we can diagnose anything.

secondly, I saw a video recently, if anyone can find it and link it to this post that’d be appreciated, but it was someone saying that trauma isn’t caused by how “bad” an event was, rather by how surprised you were. Their examples were things like, you didn’t know peolle could be so cruel, you didn’t know the world was so awful, things like that. I like that comparison better, it also explains how some people can walk away from, say, a car crash, but other people are deeply traumatized from it.

Food for thought

- Saint

[youmeanddid]

hi hello, please don’t mind this wall of text, but I do know I have a lot of followers here so I do think I owe you some sort of explanation:

I was going to just delete this blog but I’m gonna be honest I forgot my password so here we are, so I’m just gonna re-do all of it.

Most importantly, if anyone did know anything about the system please just know it’s nothing like that anymore. After what has been for far the worst year of my life, the entire system did this fun thing I’m calling “crashing and burning” almost all my alters intergrated into each other and into the host, it was a shitshow, still is if I’m being completely honest.

Maybe this blog will help flesh us out, maybe not, who knows. I forgot the password though, so it’s staying.

For now, all we have concretely is our host, Casper (vampireskunk here on tumblr), our new protector(?, caretaker?) Saint, and another main alter called Cricket, not sure what she’s all about. Michael and Hugo are still here, somewhere in the inner world. They leave us notes sometimes but not much else.

Noa intergrated into the host, most of the others either went into some sort of hiding, intergrated into someone, or simply just stopped existing. It’s confusing, I don’t know how it all works I just know it’s all very different now.

Thank you for reading, if you took the time, we’ll try and be more active again

- Saint

[scriptapi]

bastille’s on the radio..... david tennant’s all over tumblr..... HUGE 15 year old summer vibes