restlessness coils off him like smoke, familiar, constant, suffocating. aegon cannot sit still, cannot breathe still, cannot let the silence settle without tearing through it with a laugh too sharp or a gesture too loud. he drowns himself in wine and women and distraction, as if the stillness itself would reveal something he cannot bear to face.
alicent watches. she always has.
[ since his first cry, there was never peace in him. even in the cradle, he twisted and kicked until the nurses cursed under their breath, until she took him into her arms herself, pressing her palm against his tiny chest, whispering until his breaths slowed. she remembers pacing endless corridors in the dark, his small weight pressed against her shoulder, rocking him as if she could soothe away the storm already brewing inside him. the truth she has never spoken aloud is simple: she has been carrying his restlessness all her life, absorbing it into her bones, and she would rather break beneath it than let him break alone. ] ❝ you never stop moving, ❞ she murmurs, not unkind, but heavy with recognition. it is not a criticism, though others would name it so. it is a truth she has borne witness to since he was born.
he smirks, careless, too quick. but she sees through it, always . to the fear beneath, to the ache of never feeling enough. ❝ you think stillness is weakness, ❞ alicent continues, stepping closer, her hand brushing his arm, grounding, d eliberate. ❝ but it is not. it is where strength gathers. if you cannot be still, aegon, then let me be it for you. ❞ her voice softens further, almost breaking on the words. ❝ the realm will not wait for you. the dragons will not wait. they will tear you apart and crown you in the same breath, whether you are ready or not. ❞ her eyes shine, steady but desperate. ❝ but i will wait. i always will. ❞
[ she does not say the rest: that she has lived too long surrounded by men who only took and demanded, who called love a duty and duty a burden. but with him, her boy, her first, her flawed, wounded child . . . it has never been duty. it is something deeper, older. she will fight the realm, the gods, the dragons themselves if it means he can breathe without choking on his crown. ] she lingers there, her hand resting firm against his sleeve, willing her steadiness into him, as if her touch could still the ceaseless motion in his veins. her lips part again, softer now, a whisper only for him: ❝ you are not alone, aegon. not ever. not while i still draw breath. ❞
@saintsknight alicent & aegon.