My Moon My Man
Zaros x F!Earis (sorry lads, idk how to write mlm)
A/N: not proofread AT ALLLL, I was just very bored and thinking abt Zaros and how he would def be a munch.... also men who yearn are men who earn and that's all I was thinking about.
tags: fighting, yearning, confessions, cunnilingus, fingering, just a bunch of smut tbf, zaros is a munchhhh, slight aftercare/pillowtalk.
18+, MDNI pls, ty
You were tossing and turning in your sheets, the soft Serullian silk duvet sticking to your sticky, hot skin. You tried so hard to shut off your thoughts, trying to dampen them by reciting poetry from the various books you had read, but they would not subside, no matter what you tried.
You had already drunk the tea your handmaid had offered, and while it made you woozy and your eyes heavy, you were now sure that there was no cure for a racing mind.
Just why would he let me win?
You could not stop mulling it over and over again, remembering Zaros’s hesitation to react and attack you when you were open. You knew you were open because you made sure of it. And yet, here you were, presumably the undeserving winner of the duel.
It irked you that it was unfair. You knew you could take it, no matter your injuries, no matter the pain. You were so angry at him, so irritated, so… sad?
You finally shot up in your bed that felt too warm for comfort. You slipped on a robe atop your night garments and grabbed a lantern. You could not stand this anymore. The conversation after the duel didn’t cut it; you needed to know why Zaros had given you the victory, and you would not sleep until you found out.
Your feelings were weighing down on your chest; you could physically feel it - the confusing nature of your anger snaking around your body and sending small shockwaves of nervous goosebumps down your back. There was uncontrollable heat building up inside you as you thought of things you wanted to tell Zaros. And somewhere between your anger, confusion, and annoyance, you saw a glimpse of Zaros’s hands around your waist, lingering on you for longer than necessary. Longer than polite or proper.
You stopped, looking around the halls, checking around to make sure that no one was around, forgetting that no one could read your mind.
You huffed, annoyed at yourself this time, and continued on. The halls were empty and dark, only lit up by the silver lantern in your hand. It cast your shadow on the walls and doors as you passed them and made your way to the wing Zaros was situated in.
As you approached the door of his chambers, you noticed light spilling out from the thin crack of the door, illuminating a small part of the cold floor. You thanked the Gods that they had kept Zaros awake for your planned intervention of sorts, but as you got even closer, you suddenly stopped.
You heard Zaros talking, his usual smooth and velvety but often aggravating voice sounding slightly muffled behind the thick oak door. But his voice wasn’t the only one being heard - a much softer, higher-pitched laugh spilled through the cracks, and after your momentary shock, you pressed your ear to the door.
“You’re a very good model, I must say.” You heard Zaros chuckle and then heard a woman reply: “You’re too kind, Sal Zaros, I am hardly worthy of such flattery.”
You stepped back from the door, your heart beating faster than before, thumping against your ribs as a new emotion overtook you. You turned around to leave, but your body and mind were at a breaking point. Just as quickly as you had turned to leave, you whipped your body around, and with a few angry steps, you walked to the door, giving the hard wooden surface a few loud knocks.
There was sudden silence in the room. You knocked again, this time more impatient than the last, and after some shuffling, footsteps approached the door.
“Earis?” Zaros said, shocked. He looked back inside his room and opened the door wider once he realized it was you outside.
“Zaros.” You said flatly, half-assing your greeting. Behind him stood a red-haired girl with freckles, and she looked between you two and approached the door, giving you both a curtsey out of nervousness. “Your duvet has been changed, Sal Zaros. I wish you both a good night.” She brushed past you two in a hurry. You followed her with your gaze for a moment before it returned to Zaros.
As soon as you knew she was a good distance away, you pushed past Zaros into his room, and he sighed, “Still no invitation needed, I see. Your noble mindset never ceases to amaze me.” He closed the door behind you and turned to face you.
“To what do I owe the pleasure of your visit at this late hour, my Earis?”
And without thinking, all your built-up tension snapped like a worn-out bowstring, releasing a sharp blow aimed at no one other than Zaros.
“You cunning, lying, piece of dirt!” The words pushed through your clenched jaw and teeth, sounding more venomous than they ever had before. Zaros’s expression fell, forming a confused frown. As he was about to speak, you cut in.
“Don’t you even dare!” You exclaimed sharply, “Ever since your arrival here, ever since you contended for the throne, everything has been wrong. You’ve been a pain in my side, tormenting me as if I’m some plaything to you, as if there aren’t enough activities in this goddamn royal castle for you.”
“You continuously irk me, patronize me, lie to me about how things used to be, when you know damn well that you chose to betray me. You act as if you know everything all the damned time, when in reality, you have this idealistic idea of how things should be, but they’re not like that. You cannot always please everyone.”
Zaros clenches his fists as he crosses his arms, taking on a defensive stance against your words. You take a small breath and continue to pour your feelings onto him with fervor, “And then you act as if we’re friends again, talking about our years in the academy, trying to break down my walls once more just so you can get to me.”
“And then you’re caring for me, and you’re letting me win like I’m a weak, poor lamb that you must rehabilitate so you can break me down again.” You suddenly feel hot, salty tears threaten to fall from your eyes, but in this state, you feel as if it doesn’t matter, “I know who you are, I knew you way back when, and you haven’t changed one bit. Acting as if you care, dressing my wounds, and holding my waist as if you mean something by it, but never explaining what it is. God’s be dammed, how do you expect me to interpret that?!”
Your breathing is ragged as your outburst subsides. You glare at each other in deafening silence, and you internally thank that no one is close enough to Zaros’s chambers to have overheard your words.
You feel the salty liquid finally spilling over, and you wipe your eyes as best you can, feeling like a fool in front of Zaros.
“Well, say something!” You demand, slightly choked up.
“Say something?” Zaros lets out a dry, sarcastic chuckle, his smile defensive and almost offended.
“I have no idea where this outburst has come from, my Earis, but I assure you, whatever narrative you’ve built of me in your mind is false.” He steps closer, still keeping a good distance, and continues, “Not once have I lied, and if you knew anything about me, you’d know I value honesty more than anything.”
“As for dressing your wounds,” He raises his voice ever so slightly, “Well, I am so sorry for trying to keep you alive!” He chuckles once again.
“You are truly unbelievable and paranoid. Clearly, you haven’t left these walls long enough, because I don’t remember the last time I met someone so scared of human connections. I have never, ever had ulterior motives when speaking to you.” His words seem to rile him up, and he steps even closer, his tone growing more agitated, yet he keeps his voice as quiet as possible, speaking in a whisper-like shout.
“Then why else would you try to get close to me?” You shoot back, and without any hesitation, Zaros retorts.
“Because I wish to know you!” He says as if it is obvious, “All I’ve ever wanted, all I’ve ever tried to do is to know you, how can you not see that?” His voice cracks slightly, and he stops for a moment, closing his eyes and trying to collect his thoughts, but it doesn’t work as well as he’d hoped, and his voice sounds shaky, almost pleading.
“It broke me when you left. It tore me down in every possible way a man can be torn down, and for years I resented you, for years I thought of you, for years I longed and pined after you, and knowing that you would never be in my life again… It was unbearable.” His breathing is heavier than before, and to soothe himself, he runs his hands over his face. “And the thought that you resented me too, that was the worst part. I couldn’t- I- I didn’t know what to do, how to make you hear me, how to- ” He stops, finding himself on the verge of breaking.
“So, excuse me for trying to set things right.” He finally speaks, “Forgive me, my Earis, for wanting to be in your presence even knowing you hate me, and knowing you think of me as a traitor and a leech. I see it is no use now, and once the trials are over and you’re announced as the next ruler, I will make sure to stay as far away from you as possible, even if no other city, country, or continent is far enough for me to forget you.”
Your limbs were tingling, adrenaline rushing to your head, making the room spin. You had never seen your rival in such a state of disarray and had never heard him say anything even remotely close to the confession he’d just given you.
“Please.” He turned to the side, unable to look at you any longer, “Go, so I don’t cause you more distress.”
But you just stood there, unable to form a coherent thought or a response, not even able to muster up a single movement. It was like an invisible force was holding you down, tied to the floor. Zaros glanced back at you and spoke once more, “Please, my Earis, I cannot bear to be in your presence like this any longer.”
The room fell quiet as you looked at each other. Zaros stood up straight and turned to face you, noticing your state of disbelief. He grew wary as he approached you, his strong hand touching your elbow gently.
“Earis?” He whispered softly, “Are you alright?”
You looked up at him, teary-eyed and vulnerable, your reflection mirroring his.
“Earis?” he let out a shaky breath, his whisper almost inaudible, his eyes never leaving yours, looking for something within them. A sign, a confirmation, a denial. He was waiting for a shove, a push, a harshness that belonged only to you and was only extended towards him. But for the first time, it wasn’t annoyance or anger he got.
Slowly, your hand reached up to push his slightly messy hair away from his face, and it found its place on the side of his face, cupping his jaw ever so slightly.
“I don’t understand-” He involuntarily leaned forward into your touch. “What is it that you want from me?” He begged for an answer.
“I have never felt this strongly about anything in my entire life. Even back at the academy. None of my victories, none of my grades, not even duel wins nor being adored by everyone around me, has ever felt like this.” You finally speak.
“I used to think it was hatred, I used to think it was rivalry. I wanted to think that, because it was the only easy way to explain how strongly I felt for you. How strongly I still feel for you.” Your hand slid down to Zaros’s chest, your palm lying flat against his heart, feeling the rhythm of his heartbeat. And when you finally got a good feel, you realized they matched yours.
You looked up at him once more. The man who was usually quick-witted and sharp had fallen silent in front of you, all witty remarks spent on the emotional outbursts and confessions. Instead, his eyes held a different motive, one of longing and anticipation. It seemed as if the air had been sucked out of the room, neither of you making a move, as if still holding back.
“My Earis,” Zaros spoke, his voice deep and full of intensity, but before he said the next words, your feelings took reigns once more, and you leaned in with impatience, connecting your lips to his. It was a short moment, but you felt as if something began burning inside you when your bodies collided.
Zaros didn’t back away, only pulled you closer, his hands wrapping around you, pressing you against him. When you momentarily stopped, your breath mingled with his in a web of heat and want, and you wanted more of it. You wanted more of him.
As if having read your thoughts, Zaros found your lips again, the kisses more heated than before as he pushed you back until your back hit the bedpost. His hands roamed your body, moving from your hips back up to your waist and then even higher. He stopped at the seams of your robe and pulled back slightly to look at you.
“May I?” He asked and you nodded, “Yes, please.”
He slid his hands under your robe and peeled it off your body slowly, revealing your nightgown. He dipped down towards your neck, and as if ravenous, he began to kiss it.
You leaned back against the bedpost, your hands mingling in his hair, holding it away from his face. His lips grazed your skin with tenderness and hunger; meanwhile, his hands slowly undid your nightgown, pushing it down your figure. It fell to the floor, and you stepped out of it, shoving it aside with your foot.
His tongue licked and nibbed at your sensitive shoulders and collar bones, slowly leaving a trail of small red spots all the way down between your breasts. His hands slid up and cupped them, using one hand to pinch and tease your already hardening nipple while his mouth slowly wrapped around the other one, sucking on it with just the right amount of pressure.
Breathing heavily, you looked down at the scene and let out a gasp when he gently bit down. He chuckled with the sensitive bud still between his teeth and then looked up at you, his eyes hazy and drunk on you.
He removed his mouth from your nipple and replaced it with his other hand, rolling it between his fingers just like the other one. The anticipation within you continued to build and sent shivers all the way down between your legs.
Zaros kneeled in front of you, and you felt your breath hitch as he lifted one of your legs over his shoulder.
“What are you doing?” You asked, breathless and dazed. He simply looked up at you, pressing a kiss to your inner thigh, and sucked on your skin, simply retorting: “Getting to know all of you.”
He sucked on the skin of your inner thigh, slowly licking his way up. You continued to look at him, eyes glued to the scene below you, and it was almost too much to bear. You felt your own arousal dripping down your thigh, and before it could make it down any lower, Zaros’s tongue lapped it up, continuing its path all the way up until his tongue ever so slightly parted your thatch of hair and licked your slit.
He let out a groan of satisfaction mirroring your own, and his tongue delved deeper, licking upwards with more pressure. His right hand was kneading your thigh that was over his shoulder, while his other hand spread open your lips to get better access.
He continued to tease, running his tongue up and down with little to no pressure, making you a gasping mess above him.
“Please,” You breathed, “More.”
He smiled against you and hummed, “So demanding,” but still, he obliged, and his tongue reached your sensitive bundle of nerves at the top, moving back and forth over it, creating friction that made you grip his hair tighter. He gasped against your sex at the gesture, but continued immediately.
Zaros continued to tease you, sometimes straying away from your clit, and instead teasing your dripping entrance with his wet tongue, lapping up everything you were giving him, thoroughly enjoying every gasp, breath, and noise you were making.
Finally, his hand that kept you spread open moved to your clit, his thumb circling it with pressure and a steady rhythm, but his tongue moved past your entrance and slid in with ease. He moved it upwards, trying to reach it as far back and up as possible.
“Oh Gods-” You whined and writhed against the bedpost, your hips moving against his face, practically riding it. You felt tension building deep in your core, like a wave approaching.
“Zaros!” You gasped as he sped up his pace, toying with your clit faster, with more pressure, while his tongue dug deeper, almost hitting your most sensitive spot. He didn’t slow down, and you didn’t want him to. Your hips bucked into him, and the tension within you snapped. Your orgasm washed over you, sending a wave of pleasure all over your body.
Zaros continued to move his tongue, waiting for you to ride it out. You whined as it became too much, pushing his head away, and he briefly considered staying right where he was, but he didn’t want to be too mean.
Slowly, he moved back, his chin and mouth still glistening. He wiped his mouth and licked up all he could before letting your leg down from his shoulder. You were breathing heavily, legs trembling slightly from the intensity of the affair.
He stood up and kissed you once more, this time softer and more gentle. His hands wrapped around you, and together you moved to the bed.
“I wasn’t aware that mouth of yours had a good use.” You slowly slipped back into a teasing tone, the intensity of emotions wearing down ever so slightly, making way for the usual banter.
Zaros laughed and lay next to you, leading your leg across his hip, tracing random lines and shapes on the side of your thigh, “If you insult me after that, I think I’m never getting on your good side.”
“Oh, yeah, that’s never happening.” You smiled and suddenly pushed Zaros on his back, straddling his hips. “You have way too many clothes on, that’s unfair.”
“Well, I was a little preoccupied, my Earis.” His hands settled on your hips.
“Well, I can help with that.” You smiled and leaned down to catch his lips with your own, kissing him as he pulled you even closer, needing to feel the heat of your body like he had craved for all those years apart from you. It felt surreal and dizzying, and in this moment, the trials and everything else had been put on hold, because tonight, you only needed each other.
