Oct 23, 2019
Emmylou Harris
New York
1968
📸 David Gahr
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Emmylou Harris
New York
1968
📸 David Gahr
Emmylou Harris, 1968 in New York
📸 David Gahr
Beautiful pic and post by @sally__rose_ wearing one of our beautiful little hats! 💜 #sallyrose #burlesque #performance #schwarzerreiter #love @schwarzer_reiter_official Repost from @sally__rose_ using - •body•outlines• Beautifully captured by @pauliosovari at @dieglamouresque Catch us next at the 'Edinburgh Fringe Festival! We will be performing five nights at the stunning @the_merchants_hall_edinburgh August 22, 23, 24, 25 and 26th! Stunning hat from @schwarzer_reiter_official Skirt made by moi! #dieglamouresque #burlesque #Arbikie #Scotland #travel #dieglamontour (hier: Edinburgh, United Kingdom)
The Fateful Retreat
Sally Rose was the prettiest gal in our class. I couldn’t talk to her without vomiting and then curling up into a ball like a worthless dung beetle. But that all changed for me at the fateful retreat.
It was the summer and it was hot. I was sweating like a pig in my bunk when my friend Tommy came over and said, “Hey, Jim, didja hear? Sally Rose is single!”
“What are you talkin bout, Tommy? Sally’s never single.”
“Never say never, bromeo,” said Tommy. “I just saw er break up wit Jaime by the waterin hole.”
“But Jaime’s got a six pack.”
“I know! i couldn’t believe it either. She just said, ‘I’m sick and tired of your six pack’ and stormed off in a huff. Now she’s sittin all alone waitin for someone to comfort er.”
“Why ain’t er friends comfortin er?”
“Because der all too busy tryin to get Jaime to go out wit dem.”
“Some friends,” I mumbled and rubbed my eyes.
“Why ain’t you excited about dis, bromeo? Now’s your chance to win er heart.”
“Tommy. you know I can’t talk to Sally Rose without vomitin everywhere. You know that!“
“Sure. I knows it all too well,” said Tommy with a shudder. “But who’s to say dat dis time won’t be different? What if dis time, instead of vomiting, you say something cool, like ‘Hey baby, yous a peach!’ or something?”
“Hey that’s a pretty good line, Tommy,” I said as I hopped to my feet. “Gals love lines like dat. Do ya think I could borrow dat and say it to Sally?”
“Sure, bromeo. But if it works, you owe my a soda pop.”
“Aw Tommy, if it works I’ll get you a thousand soda pops.”
“Easy, bromeo,” said Tommy with a shrug. “I might get da diabetes if I drink dat many soda pops!”
“Well don’t drink em all at one time, you dummy. Just parcel em out over the course of the next five years and you’ll be fine.”
“I know dat. I was just makin a joke about drinkin em all at one time. Now go get er bromeo!”
I started for the door but then stopped abruptly.
“Whater you waitin for,” said Tommy, who had ran into my back when I stopped.
“What if I vomit again, Tommy? Last time it got all over er shoes.”
“Bromeo, look at me.” Tommy grabbed my shoulders and looked me square in the eye. “You ain’t gonna vomit. If you just concentrate all yer energy on saying the line I gave you, nothin will go wrong.”
“But Tommy--”
“Nothin will go wrong. Trust me.”
“I do trust you Tommy,” I said with a sigh. “Yer such a good friend.”
Then I turned and ran out of the cabin, towards the picnic tables and toward my destiny.
She was sitting there holding a tissue to her face. Before I approached her, I attempted to squeeze out a few tears so that I might fit in. After about thirty minutes of failure, I ran to the water fountain, splashed some on my face, and continued on my quest.
“Hey baby,” I said.
She sat there and continued to quietly sob.
“Hey baby,” I said again.
She continued to act like she didn’t hear me.
Finally, I decided to tap her on the shoulder, but I wasn’t prepared for what happened next.
She looked at me and I melted like the Nazis in Raiders of the Lost Ark.
She was just too pretty.
“Hey baby,” I coughed, trying in vain to maintain my composure, “yous...a... PEAAAAAAGGGGHHHHHH!”
The vomit flowed like Old Faithful.
Sally Rose watched in horror as it flew through the air and once again landed smack dab on her brand new Converse high tops.
When the vomit finally stopped flowing, I just stood there, my clothes covered in vomit, my pride covered in metaphorical vomit. I knew it was over. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Tommy standing at a distance, shaking his head. I didn’t know what to do. The last time I vomited, people had been around to laugh at me and make me feel so ashamed that I just ran away. This time, though, it was just me and Sally, and for some reason, I just stood there and stared at her.
And oddly enough, she didn’t freak out or call me names or mourn the loss of another pair of new shoes. Instead, she just stared back at me.
The look in her eyes wasn’t hostile. Neither was it derisive or woeful. It was simply confused. It was as if she were puzzling something out in her head. Then, to my great surprise, she started laughing. It began as a chuckle and grew into a full blown belly laugh. And before long, I was laughing too.
I don’t know how long we laughed for, but it felt like hours. I kind of didn’t want it to end, but it eventually did. Then we were silent for a few seconds more before she finally spoke.
“That was the nicest thing anyone’s ever done for me,” she said.
“How so?” I asked.
“You just symbolically cured me of my shallowness. Want to be my boyfriend?”
My heart leaped in my chest as I said yes. Although I still didn’t quite understand what I did to make her feel so good, I didn’t care. I took her hand and together we walked toward the lake. I glanced back at Tommy and saw that he was gleefully doing the worm. I’d get him those sodas later.
“Yous a peach, Sally,” I said.
“Why thank you, puke kid,” she replied with a grin.
I made a mental note to tell her my real name later.
-Joe
#sallyrose of #thesallyroseband #makinarecord at #soundofmusicstudios in RVA. Thinking of sparklehorse.💘