Promises, Promises
They’re floating in a lake under the Montana sky, hands grasped tight, their fingers digging into each others skin. Sam was aware that beneath them the moonlight hit the bottom of the lake. Illuminating the bottom of an already crystal clear bottom. She’s aware that in the past four months this was the most calm she’s experienced And she’s aware that Eli was unequivocally responsible for that calm. That the way she could feel his pulse by simply grasping tighter. And that, although the water was chilly as all fuck, she felt so very warm.
She was wearing her usual tactical pants, which earlier in the week had suffered a rip about the length of the swipe of a very angry wolverine, now mended and very wet. Her tank top was a ratty one that she usually wore under her deputy uniform shirt which lay next to her equally ratty boots at the lakeshore. Beside them were Eli’s jacket and boots and most of their equipment. As there was a knife or two Sam refused to take off her person as they’ve proven essential during times of turmoil.
But that wasn’t the part that she cared about. No. It was the way Eli looked under the moonlight. A small smile gracing his lips, the only indication of its existing being the laugh lines around his eyes ever just slightly deepening.
“What’re you thinking about that’s got you so happy?” Sam asked quietly.
“I’ve never seen you so relaxed,” he explained, “it’s nice. This is a nice moment.”
“Montana’s been doing a crappy job of letting me relax.”
“You ever think about the future Sam?” Eli asked suddenly. When Sam eyed him from the corner she saw he stared up at the moon with a far away feeling. Like he was looking past the moon instead.
“Most of the time I ain’t think I got a future, Palmer,” Sam said. She threw herself into danger so often and so recklessly she was genuinely surprised she could even afford to be there. Floating in that lake next to him and holding on like it might be the last time she’d be able to. To be fair. It might be.
“You shouldn’t think like that,” Eli said. He sounded upset. The timber of his voice shaking. It shifted her footing. Her understanding of Eli Palmer.
“Shouldn’t start setting myself up for disappointment now,” Sam said with a forced smile. She didn’t want to think about the future. Or about Eli. Or about anything. She still can help herself though, “do you? Think about the future I mean.”
“All the time,” Eli said, “I need to. Otherwise. What am I fighting for, y’know?”
Others, she wanted to say, I fight for others. Never myself, that’s useless. She waited.
“I think about moving back down to the valley, y’know? Towns gonna need a handy man once everything is said and done. People will be rebuilding homes. I can help with that. I’d be closer to the sheriffs department too. I don’t know, we could. Go for drinks more often that way.”
“Every Sunday after church,” Sam said jokingly. She hadn’t attended a mass in a very long time. She didn’t plan to after this. Thinking about religion left a sour taste in her mouth nowadays.
“Whenever you want.” Eli said. His tone was too easy. Too forced. She knew what he was asking. Stay, for the love God please stay here. With me.
“We could even go hunting,” Sam suggested airily, “Sharky mentioned somethin’ about using a flame thrower to get fish got, we could always let ‘im at it supervised.”
She brought Sharky to make him laugh but what she wanted to do was promise him that she would stay. The best she could do, though, was give him plans for the future.
