#salny

[cephalos]

Finally gave Salny a new and proper reference image. She’s one of my dearest OCs, so I’m glad to finally give her some well-deserved love.

Here’s her artfight page btw ;)

[gameredlinden]

Lost Sphear - Exploring Salny & Dianto Gameplay part 19

[cephalos]

Spot Illustration for a zine about our Call of Cthulhu characters

[mistager]

Zephyr journal - Episode 26

Recorded voice entry.  The sound of wind and traffic sometimes overwhelm the quavering tone. 

I hurt.  

I'm fully healed.  My skin has reknitted.  My muscles move again.  All my bits and pieces are back where they belong.  

But I hurt.

It's a deep pain.  A hollow throbbing in the middle of my core.  It's the memory of emptiness, of being physically torn open and ripped apart at my most intimate.  

I cover it well.  I can still be social.  I can still talk to everyone else.  I can still meet new people and tell stories.  

But I hurt.  

I've lost my other.  There's no voice there, no presence.  That other half of myself is gone.  I can't hear her, can't feel her.  It's as if I've lost one of my senses, a bit of myself.  I... I feel like I've lost the sky.   

I feel as if I've ruined Shalott.  Here I was trying to make it better for her, trying to improve her life, and I probably ruined her.  I saw how she sat in the room, her eyes blank, her mind gone, carving symbols with the blood of her familiar.

Carving.  *shudder* when I close my eyes I can feel him carve into me.  I can hear his words.  I can feel that hurt again-that terrible pain as I tried desperately to keep awake, to not sink into the darkness-as long as I was awake I was alive- as long as I was struggling I hadn't given in yet- as long as I was fighting he hadn't yet turned to Shalott.  

I didn't give in.  But I feel like I've lost something in the process.  

I hurt.  

[mistager]

Zephyr's Journal- Episode 25

Wow.  I'm not entirely sure why but it seems like a lot has happened since I last wrote.  

The other murder has gone.  We had a great big party to celebrate in Raver's amazing mansion (which I totally have the keys to now, awesome possum).  Unfortunately the party was marred by the fact that Knight decided to take a joke I played a little too seriously. 

I mean, all I did was send him into a back room where Grief was waiting to web someone up.  It wasn't all that bad!  I thought it would be a funny joke on both of them.  They were both expecting some sort of sex and instead ended up with the opposite.   And it's not like Knight can't take care of himself!  I thought they'd have a good awkward laugh about it and then maybe be a little closer.  Knight could use the connection to someone else in the murder... all he usually does is sit in the corner and plot ways to take over small countries and large conglomerates. 

But while Grief took it well (props to him!  He's not as much of a scary widow as I expected), Knight decided that it meant that he had to get me back.  Now, I totally don't mind a good prank or two, but telling me that I've legitimately hurt you and not taking any of my apologies (even when I give you back your freaking PLANE) is taking your joke a little too far.  He honestly made me feel as if I had done the dickiest dick thing in all the dick-ed universe.  I felt like I had told a small child that Santa wasn't real.  I felt like I had jumped in line and snatched up the last donut in front of a starving man.  I felt like I had betrayed something holy. 

Damn.  He's good.  ...Fucking Dick.

If it wasn't for Thaddeus, Suicide, and Raver, I probably wouldn't have gotten out of my funk.  Thaddeus especially.  I didn't think he cared enough to actually take a step and help fix my depression... but in all honesty I haven't given him the chance before.  

The next day those who were  going to use the machine used it, while those who weren't listened to Shalott scream in pain.  There has got to be something that we can find for that girl that numbs her a bit.  Or maybe it's a sorcery thing? Maybe you have to be really in tune with your senses in order to rearrange the fabric of space and time?  I'll ask Vivian.  On second thought- no I won't.  I can imagine that conversation now.

"Hey Vivian, can I ask you a question?"

"Of course Zephyr."

"Do you feel a lot of pain?  I mean... like.... all the time?  Not that you look like that or anything.... that you're in pain all the time.  I swear! You don't!  Not that I'm looking all the time, I mean, you are attractive and all, but I just wanted to know because it seems like a space woojie thing that you might need to be really sensitive in order to properly control space and time and magic or whatever it is that you ritual caster people do....er, not that I'm saying anything bad about ritual casters.... I mean... you know?"

"..."

"Oh look, is that a door? I'll just show myself out."

Then we proceeded to be told that there was a serial killer on the loose in the archeology.  A serious one.  One that the OIS couldn't track down- which in my rather limited experience means some kind of serious sorcery.  

In this case though, it just meant a whole lot of gore.  

It was terrible.  I... I don't want to describe it here.  Let me just say that it took me back to some of the worse moments I spent in the NEG.  It reminded me of Houston, actually, pulling an unconscious Valerie from the crashed wreckage of her plane, dragging her across a field littered with the remains of my squad that.... that thing rocking back and forth like a crazed lost child, hugging its head to its chest- choking in the smell of burning flesh and the otherworldly rancidness of Engel wounds- trying not to make a sound that would cause it to get back up and resume the slaughter where it left off...

I didn't realize those memories were so close to the surface until today. I took what solace I could with procedure... with going through every possible way that we could find the guy.  I even spoke to my Tager to see what she might have to say.  

We caught the guy, thanks to Thaddeus.  But I don't feel any better about the things he did.  His death doesn't bring those people back.  It doesn't fix anything that he did.  

It doesn't clear those images from my head. 

I'm going to go sit up on the roof and think about something shiny for a while.  Maybe Frost.  He seemed to get the dichotomy of life and death better than most of his contemporaries.  Death troubles most not those who die but rather those who are left among the living.  

[mistager]

Zephyr's Journal, Episode 23

So, I must say that I approve of these new members.  I was- actually still am a little- unsure of Vintage (I find that if I use someone's fake name often enough it eventually becomes their real name.  It's awesome) but he bought me a plane, so I can't really get too upset about the guy. 

As for Grief, the guy helped me throw a party!  A real party!  With booze and paint ball and drinking games!  And EVERYONE PARTICIPATED.  It was aaaaamazing.  It was as if the night was blessed.  Seriously, he's like the golden idol of parties.  I mean, I can't talk about anything that happened, but it was awesome! 

I seriously think that this is the first time that I've had such a good time with a group of tagers that only incidentally involved other murders.  We may finally have a good glue to hold the group together. 

Although... I need to take care of some things with Shalott.  Especially if she's going to be thrown into constant situations with older men and sexual creatures. I wonder what the best way to do that would be?  Someone who was fun and good and experienced, but who she wouldn't get overly attached to.  A one night-ish thing that doesn't mess with her sense of family.  Someone to lose it to before she has sex with someone in the murder.  Because, let's face it, it's going to happen.  She's a little too sexy for her own good. 

[mistager]

Zephyr Journal Episode 20

I'm not sure how many of you read this, but I'm calling in any favors that I might have.  I highly recommend that you bring Miller into training. 

Not just because he survived an encounter with a horned one, directly after fighting the Rapine storm on the Russian front and following a murder of Taegers through the sewers without panic or fear- maintaining a calm sense of presence throughout.  Not just because he made a hell of an intellectual leap directly after being attacked by said horned one and seeing his friend being killed by one of our team.  Not just because if he's anything like his sister he would make an excellent addition to the order.

No, you should bring him into training because if you don't you will have a very angry whisper on your hands. I suppose that might not be much of a threat, but believe me when I say that if I ever needed a hill to die on, this would be it.  Just ask my therapist.

Same with Sevy.  Bring her in.  She's useful.  She's amazing, actually, given the circumstances.  If anyone has the presence of mind to be of use to a Taeger or the order it would be her. 

Other than that, what can I say?  Russia was horrible.  Not surprising I suppose.  It's Russia.  From what I hear it was horrible even before we got invaded from space.  Something to do with salt mines and frozen wastelands and nuclear mutations.  I'm glad we're on our way out. 

How's that ritual coming?  From all this time stuck in the middle of no where without even a PCPU to keep me company I realize how far away I really am from my partner.  I'd love to talk to be able to talk to her more directly.   She's so much more patient than I am.

After all that's happened I could use a steadying influence.

[mistager]

Zephyr's Journal, Episode 18

I know no one is reading this.  No one can.  I guess it just makes me feel better to put it on the page.

I hate to say it, but Thaddeus was right.  Here he was, arguing that we should just go and murder the soldiers that we had been traveling with based on the whims of a crazy woman that we found in the woods.  Soldiers that we had just decided to trust.  I figured the sight of her awesome gun had just gone to his head, what with the nonsense about blanks and whatnot.

But he was right.  They were working for the Migou.  And we had just told them exactly what we were... well not exactly. I made sure to make them think we were COC (which I'll admit makes me feel a little... dirty.)  Crazy woman in the woods?  She was right.

Of course, given that it was a raven that changed my mind perhaps I shouldn't be too free with the label "crazy." Said raven explained that "Alexander" was actually a woman, and Pirate's wife to boot, and that the woman in the woods was actually Pirate's daughter. 

I'm sure Bane's hoping for a happy homecoming for all of them, but I don't think that's in the cards. Although I honestly think that she'd make a good Tager.  Something angry and sure of itself.  Maybe a widow?  Or a vampire?  Sure, let's see if we can bring her back.  But if she wants to stay in the woods and kill off Migou more power to her.

So we killed the lot of them, escaped with their power armor, and found the lady's hideout.  And now we're apparently just going to gift her all of our newfound power armor?  I mean, I know we don't want her to shoot us and all, but surely we don't need to give her ALL of the armor.  We just got it!  And now we're going to give it away???

Still don't know where Tei is.  Still awake. 

Maybe I can fiddle with the radio setup she's got here... there's got to be some way to make a signal go through.  Or maybe I can see if we can do something with "Alexander"s familiars.  If we offered to set them free maybe they'd help us.  They seem nice.. for familiars. Maybe we can make that backwards psychic connection with Bane and KTP work better?  So many maybes...

At least we have a plan of a sort.  And we have new allies.  A former loyalist and a guerilla sniper.  The day's looking brighter already.

I wonder if she's got any meth.  Not that I want to get addicted.  Not that I want to keep using it. It's just that I'm not sure what will happen if Thaddeus and I crash.

Oh shit.  I just realized I'm going to have to change my name. Yay?