Sam Carter - Unlock My Secrets
A/N: This took like all day, my goodness. Also, abuse trigger warning! The story just called for it, I'm sorry! -WH
Today was the first day of tour, well the first performance of tour, and I didn't quite know how to feel about it. On one hand, it felt nice, it felt new, I loved the sights all around me, different place every night, it felt so uniquely outstanding to travel the world like this. Though I was only just a merch girl, a very quiet one at that, correction, a mute one. I had to have a few note cards for selling merch, ones that say stuff like "Size?" "Color?" and other details people tend to fuss over. This was a nice job, steady pay, and I'd be a liar straight to hell if I said I wasn't practically living off this job, well this and taking care of neighborhood dogs when their owners go out of town, or walking elders' dogs if they were unable or just unwilling to leave their homes. Plus the people here were amazing, usually, the fans weren't always the kindest people, demanding certain things, yelling at me if I messed even the slightest thing up, but aside from them it was always pretty nice and an overall fun experience, not to mention amazing music was never far from earshot. This was my third tour, I had been selling merch for multiple bands now, this was my first time merching for The Architects, I would be lying if I said I wasn't nervous about it. Not to mention my phone had been going crazy all morning from assholes from university, I don't know how they even got my number, but I was getting really sick of them. I turned my phone off all together before too awful long, I wasn't going to let them bring me down today, this was too good of an opportunity to just blow away like that.
The doors were about twenty minutes until open time, and I had everything set up perfectly. I was just finishing up sorting a few shirts when someone walked up to me.
"You our merch girl?"
I looked up from the shirts and nodded, a small smile finding its way onto my lips as Sam Carter stood in front of me. He returned the smile before continuing to speak.
"How old are you?"
I grabbed a pen and wrote down "19" onto the palm of my hand and showed him.
"Don't you speak?"
I shook my head, I hadn't spoken in about seven years. I quite honestly don't remember how to form words at this point.
"I'll be sure to change that later, for now I've gotta go get ready, talk to you after the show or something?"
I nodded, and waved at him before I began scrubbing at the ink on my hand after licking my finger so it would come off easier with hopefully less smearing left over. It wasn't too long after that the crowds were let inside and all at once began to swarm around, flocks of them at just about every table set up, mine included, thankfully no one yelled at me while they were trying to get a shirt or bracelet which I provided to them as quickly as I possibly could. After the show however was a different story entirely, I was just about ready to call it a day and start packing up for the night when an angry looking father dragged his sick looking daughter over and started yelling at me for a bracelet, getting even angrier when I tried asking what color, I was nearly in tears by the time Sam came over and wrapped an arm around my shoulders and pulled me close.
"Is there a problem here?"
"Is there a problem?! Yes there's a problem! Why the hell did you let a mute slut like this bitch sell merch?! My daughter wanted a damn purple bracelet! Not black!"
"Dad really it's fine-"
"Did I say you could talk?!"
The girl at his side cowered backwards, Sam looked pissed.
"Sir if you just follow me for a second we can get this all sorted out while she gets your daughter the bracelet."
The man glared at me and his daughter before letting go of her and walking off with Sam, leaving me alone with the young girl with tears filling her light blue eyes. I turned my phone on and typed out a message as I grabbed a black bracelet and gave it to her, along with the phone.
"I think I know what Sam's up to, if you need help at all feel free to either text me at xxx-xxx-xxxx or call child services, your dad doesn't seem like a good man.."
She read it over and nodded, grabbed her own phone and typed in the number, then held it out for me to put my name in. But before long the man walked out again, $5 in his hand, which was the cost of the bracelet in the first place, and Sam followed him. After the two had left he walked up to me.
"You alright?"
I shrugged, I felt a fear slip from my eye and fall down my cheek, it didn't even make it half way down before it was gently smoothed away.
"You don't have to tell me this if you don't want to, but if it's alright with you I'd like to know your name.."
I decided it was fair for me to try at least to tell him, to make a word.
"I'm.."
My voice was shaky and sounded broken, so I stopped talking after that, shook my head, and just typed it out on my phone instead.
"I'm (y/n).."
He smiled and gave me a hug.
"Well it's nice to meet you, (y/n). Is there any particular reason you stopped speaking?"
"Depression got bad.."
I couldn't form the words I wanted so desperately to say into proper sentences, oh how my English teachers would scorn me for this moment, I started thinking, would I ever talk again? And if I was really going to start speaking again, even if it was just to one or two people, maybe speak while selling merch, I would definitely need to ease into it and not push myself too hard, I suppose at least.
"Well it's been nice meeting you, we'll talk or something tomorrow, yeah?"
I nodded and smiled, he smiled back at me before leaving and going back to the bus while I, along with others, began packing up for the night. Tomorrow we would be in a different place, and it was crazy to even think of the amount of time on the road, don't get me wrong, I was in love with it, but I don't think I could get used to doing this regularly, god forbid having to drive a tour bus at night, I can barely drive my car back home at night, traffic is insane and all the bright lights blind you until you can't differentiate between what lights are cars and which are stars and the moon, it all gets too much, how could anyone have that kind of a job and stay sane? It amazed and confused me at the same time, I honestly didn't know how it was a job someone actually did. Then again having a job of selling shirts and bracelets and what not isn't the most glamorous thing to do either, so I suppose it wasn't that odd when put in perspective. That night when I fell asleep it was a nightmare brought to life by that girl and her father, which reminded me of my own father and myself, he wouldn't let me eat, he told me I was too fat for food, and that no one would ever love a fatass like me. He yelled at me all the time, he hit me, dragged me around, he was the drunk drug-addict who sold his only daughter's virginity to some creep for $50, and then sold her on the streets for progressively more until on my 18th birthday last year I escaped and never spoke to him or saw him again. Dyed my hair from blonde to dark blue and wore contacts the color of brown to mask my silver-toned irises, I looked practically dead from being so underweight, admittedly I was trying to make myself seem healthier, but being raised with forced poor eating habits, it proved quite difficult to maintain a healthy weight, but I did try, and that's the best I could do.
I woke up in a cold sweat, the tour manager leaned over me, shaking my shoulder gentle enough to wake me up without causing any damage. He had a fatherly look of concern visible on his features.
"Are you okay, (y/n)?"
His voice was just above a whisper, he told me to follow him and I did, following him to the main area of the crew bus, he started heating up water and grabbed two cups.
"I don't know about you, but with my daughter whenever she had a bad dream a bit of hot cocoa always fixed her up, that sound good to you, kiddo?"
I nodded with a little bit of a smile, he smiled back and began making the hot chocolate, and continued speaking.
"Marshmallows?"
I nodded in response.
"Well good, because those always are good for everything. So if I give you something to write with, will you tell me what's going on? Kind of like keeping a journal, you know? I'll read it over when you give it to me after writing in it, and I'll keep our secrets between just the two of us, because you're practically the same age as Julie, my little girl, and I'm missing her lately, she's all grown up and out of the house. You remind me a lot of her, and I want you to think of me as a father figure, because I know you've been doing this for awhile now, but this is your first time with these guys, and I want you to be comfortable being here. Sound good to you, kiddo?"
I nodded again. He grabbed a pad of paper from a drawer, flipping through the pages to verify that it was blank, and he handed it to me, along with a pen, and told me to write in it whenever I needed to or wanted to, and then handed me my mug of hot cocoa and we watched The Avengers, it always had been a favored movie of mine, always was a fan of it. Before too awful long after the movie had ended I had found myself nearly asleep, which Jason, the tour manager, took notice of and picked me up bridal style and carried me back to my bunk and tucked me in and everything, I fell asleep instantly after that, and I didn't even have a nightmare the rest of the night, until I woke up to the sound of my phone alarm going off through the earbuds left placed by the wall, I always had a tendency to listen to my music too loud anyways. Today was going to be a long day..
Before the show I was setting up merch and a note was slipped to me, I looked up to find Sam smiling. I opened up the note, that said hi with a smiley face, I smiled and took my pen and wrote out a little hello with another smiley. We talked like that for a few minutes before he had to leave, and soon the doors opened and the same routine as yesterday. After the show I got another note.
"We're staying the night at a hotel tonight, stay with me?"
"That's not very professional."
"Pretty please?"
I looked up at him and he had puppy eyes, I couldn't resist that, it was impossible to resist that look.
"Oh fine, but I still have to pack up and whatever."
"No you don't!"
I gave him a quizzical look, he pulled someone I didn't recognize over.
"Take care of the merch for her, will you?"
The stranger nodded and smiled at me, he had soft green eyes that made me melt, but my eyes were on someone else right now. Someone who evidently I was staying with tonight at a hotel. Sam grabbed my arm and pulled me off with him, we walked to a hotel just across the street and went up to a pre-rented out room, and there was only one bed in the room.
"Hope you don't mind."
I shook my head with a small smile, our eyes met and his were practically sparkling, I felt my cheeks heat up and I saw s warm smile find its way onto his lips, and a little bit of a rosey red was on his own cheeks.
"Can I tell you something, (y/n)?"
I nodded.
"You have a very beautiful name, you know that? And such a beautiful face to match.."
As he said the last words his hand gently cupped my cheek, my face felt as if it were on fire.
"I didn't think I would, but.. I think I'm in love with you, (y/n).."
"I.."
My voice was still soft spoken and felt foreign to my throat and my tongue had troubles simply getting the words out.
"I love.. You too.."
He smiled at me even wider than he had been, a proud look in his eyes. Then our eyes met for a few moments, his occasionally flashing to my lips, and mine occasionally flashing to his. We both began leaning in, though it seemed like an eternity before our lips finally met. Today not only was my first actual kiss, but it also was the first words to leave my lips in years. Today was definitely a huge deal in my life, and I wouldn't have it any other way. Things turned out perfectly for once..