#sam's aunt

[lostchips]

Here is the thing I don't get. Your relative dies and even if they have a will that clearly states what they want done you still need an estate lawyer if your relative had any amount of money. But you don't know this stuff until after you die, or unless you have been in this situation already. Why is the system set up like this? At bare minimum you need an estate lawyer and a decent accountant. Why is dying so hard? It happens every god damn day!!!!

[lostchips]

Just realized my aunt will never wish me a happy birthday again.

[lostchips]

Lol thought spiral

I was close with my aunt up until I came out to her and like, life happened and we didn't hang out as much because I was working and in school and grandpa got sicker then and needed more care so like, did we distance ourselves from each other or did she visit less and invite me out less because GAY

I suppose it isn't worth thinking about and doesn't change anything.

[lostchips]

I don't know enough about my cultures beliefs in death and the afterlife and it worries me that I'm not doing the right things. My aunt said she didn't believe in them though. All of this is so confusing. Like I don't believe in an afterlife. But the ritual is soothing. Putting fruit at the alter. Lighting the incence. Burning the paper money. But the actions have been stripped of meaning. I don't know what they symbolize besides some notion of care and it scares me I suppose.

[lostchips]

So before my aunt died she wanted to make things easier for us. She bought all the funeral stuff, wrote her will, and decided to consolidate all her assets into one bank. GUESS WHAT! THE BANK DROPPED THE BALL AND DIDN'T DO THAT.

[lostchips]

I know I'm in an enviable position given that I am a millennial and I now own a home but also my aunt is dead and I miss her so much

[lostchips]

I had to purposefully throw out all the opioids

[lostchips]

I cannot accept that my aunt is dead.

This sentence is incorrect because I must accept that she is dead and cremated and her ashes scattered but I cannot accept the curcumstances that surrounded and lead up to her death. I cannot accept the fact that my grandpa died from COVID in 2022 at a care home after my aunt sacrificed so much to protect him. I cannot accept the fact that the surgery that was supposed to give my aunt relief from ascites killed her l. I cannot accept the fact that I, the two nurses, the surgeon and his helpers did not notice her internal bleeding and sent her home like that. I cannot accept it but I have to. I have to accept it and not allow resentment to cloud me but it's so hard.