#sam's jams

[rt-squish]

Ah yes, Woolie went to the jam factory for his birthday.

(The idea came from a C64 game, I'm not kidding...)

[implyingyoucare]

I don’t really use tumblr much anymore because of all the negative changes lately. I’m pretty active on twitter though and I would love it if anyone wants to be mutuals over there. My username on twitter is also ImplyingYouCare. 

Click here for the link to my profile. 

[implyingyoucare]

I love how Cognac’s quills look after he’s had a bath. 

[implyingyoucare]

Short rant about intersex stuff under the cut. I just wanted to write about how I’m feeling because a lot of medical stuff is happening.

I have to have surgery next month because my doctors need to do an internal exam, and they can’t do it normally because I’m intersex.

I’ve explained this to my mom a dozen times, but for some reason she’s convinced I’m lying somehow. And I just don’t understand it... She knows that I’m intersex, we’ve talked about it multiple times. She’s seen the results of my hormone tests and my pelvic ultra sound. She knows that things about me are different, but she refuses to believe it. Every time I talk to her about it, she insists that my condition has to be something else. But why would my doctors be doing this surgery if they didn’t believe it was really necessary? How could I possibly be lying about a surgery that I need? 

I’m just really hurt right now that my parents refuse to understand what I’m going through. Doing this surgery is already so hard on me mentally because I have genital dysphoria. I’m not sure I can deal with my mom being there during the surgery because of how many terrible things she’s said to me about it. 

My parents outright make fun of me for calling myself intersex because they don’t think it’s real. And it confuses me even more, because they also mock me for my intersex traits. My mom has straight up told me that I’m disgusting so many times. She’s called me a faggot, told me that no one will ever love me, and that I’m choosing to be like this because I refuse to try harder to look like the gender they chose for me.

I wish I was lying, but my dad really believes that birth defects are caused by demons, and he really thinks that demons are the reason that I’m different and that I’m going to hell for being intersex. Everything they say is constantly contradictory between “You’re not intersex” and “You being intersex is terrible”.

I’m just really hurt because I genuinely don’t understand why they think I’m so wrong. I’m not someone who strives to be extreme or different. I’m a very quiet, average looking person who doesn’t go looking for attention. All I want is to wear simple clothes and be called Sam. Apparently, that’s too much for them to handle. 

[implyingyoucare]

Just got back from the doctor and now that I’ve been told I’m intersex AGAIN, my mom is finally starting to believe me. 

I don’t know if my parents will ever accept that being intersex effects my life in more ways than just not being able to have kids, but at least they actually believe that my condition is real now.

[implyingyoucare]

For anyone who comes to my blog because my comments were posted on Tattle-Crime’s Hannibal Cult website - http://www.tattlecrime.org/idfyti-copypasta

In case anything changes on site, I’m putting screencaps here. Link for full size.

Tattle-Crime (Monica/Eve) posted my comments assuming that I was talking about someone named Laura. I don’t personally know anyone named Laura and as far as I know, I never interacted with her. I wasn’t talking about Laura and that should be obvious because I mentioned that my friend was mentally disabled. As far as I know, Laura/ @idontfindyouthatinteresting isn’t learning impaired. 

I was talking about my best friend Meredith. Monica has a year long history with Meredith where she bullied and manipulated her over the course of their friendship. Monica couldn’t tell who I was talking about because so many people have similar stories about her harassment, and I think that’s pretty telling.  

Monica is also a liar. She never once contacted me asking who I was talking about even though she claims that she did on her website. That’s also very strange because Monica and I used to be mutuals on Tumblr when she was friends with Meredith. We talked multiple times and I know that Meredith talked about our friendship with her several times. Monica knows who I am and knows that Meredith and I are best friends, but she still blatantly lied on her site about it to try to make my comments look fake.

And for anyone wondering why my original comment was vague, it was because Meredith didn’t want to be involved with literal cult accusations. I didn’t name her because she didn’t want to drag things back up with Monica and I thought that mentioning her disability would be more than enough to identify her to Monica and no one else. But Monica took my words and twisted them to suit more of her bullshit stories so she can make herself look like a victim to the people who come across her website looking for stories about cult drama.

A lot of people here on Tumblr are aware of Monica and her history with harassment (which includes doxxing people she dislikes). Her ridiculous accusations and harassment weren’t just noticed here, but on other sites she used like Kiwi Farms (Link). 

[implyingyoucare]

I’ve never been interested in ASMR, but after watching a ton of Bloodborne videos I started getting youtube recs for Lovecraftian ASMR and honestly, I dig it a whole lot.

You would think that ASMR with some dude in costumes chanting in R’Lyehian would be creepy, but it’s actually kind of relaxing and funny? I really love these videos and I’m glad someone filled this insanely specific niche for eldritch bed time stories and bath time with Deep Ones. 

[implyingyoucare]

I have 0 artistic talent, but I drew my neopet anyway because he’s a good boy and I love him a lot.