#samiboo

[infamousiki87]

B4 church yesterday #samiBOY #samiBOO

[infamousiki87]

#samiBOY #samiBOO #futureGENTLEman

[infamousiki87]

#samiBOY #samiBOO with his #brothers & #sisters #1stBlood thank u @b0nis for the picture

[thisisntyourwonderland]

But it you did, it won’t matter. I will come back. Whether it is tomorrow or in years to come and I will prove to you that I can be a good person. That I can and will pay attention to you and I won’t care who sees us together because if I lose my job... at least I won’t lose you. You’ll see. Love, Chess. (end)

Alice slumped down to her chair, the seven pages scattered around her, as if they would swallow her in. What was she supposed to say to all that? To the man he hurt her in many ways but was the first to notice and love her. Who threw that love away on a cheap thrill and constantly go back and forth on her. Even if she saw him, what would change? She knew deep down that people didn't change. He would still flirt with anything that moved and Alice was tired to chasing after men, boys who took the heart she gave so freely and squeezed till she couldn't breathe.

What did it even matter? You can't change what you've done and I'll never be foolish enough to go back into that bubble with you. Because I don't believe that you won't hurt me again and if you do, I will never speak to you again, it will be over.

She looked our her window, listening to the sounds of life on the streets below her. The Eiffel Tower in the distance. 

Why fight? She left Ireland, only a few people knew, mostly Dean knew she left. As to where she left, she still didn't tell him. She probably wouldn't tell anyone, why? What right did they gain for her trust? 

She knew she'd tell someone, someone she was actually close to. Maybe Aurora, Celia. They can relay the message to other people in case, if they were wondering.

But she was happy, so much happier here. Happier than she felt in ages. Why should she ever let that go just because Chess wrote her a letter. It was his message of apologies and love.

However he lost that with her long ago. There was already too much broken and Alice didn't feel strong enough to go back yet.

There was the last few months of the semester, summer then the fall. Perhaps then she'd be ready and come back. But the way she felt, she was never going to leave Paris.

It was full of life and art and it was calling out to her. Deciding that moping around was unproductive, she was going to meet up with a few people she had already met in her few weeks here. She slid out of the chair, changed out of her lounge wear and into a dress.

She was going to give the letters no more glances if it wasn't for a paper flying up and hitting her cheek. Noticing her window still open, she closed it. Looking down at the letters, she gathered them back up and placed them on her desk. She couldn't help but to reread the line from his last page.

Whether it is tomorrow or in years to come and I will prove to you that I can be a good person.

Good to know, it would probably take him a long time before she's ever trusting him again.

Placing her sketch book on top of them, she figured it was a way to keep them safe until she decided on what she wanted to do with them. Giving a definite nod, Alice spun on her heel, exiting the room she rented and went straight out onto the streets with a resolve and a smile on her face.

While the words of Chess lingered in her mind, for the first time in a while she felt like she progressed. She was getting better, and all she could do was to continue that trend. That way she could be strong emotionally and mentally for what could come next.