Why do you love Sam Winchester?
If anybody asks me why I love Sam Winchester, guaranteed, I will spend at least five minutes sitting there, opening and closing my mouth like a fish. I want to say 'how could I ever possibly describe all that Sam is and what he means to me? I can't put it in words!'
But as much as I'd like to believe my love for Sam is special, it isn't, as the myriads of other letters prove. And that's not a coincidence; there's a reason Sam means so much to a lot of people, and Sam fans are so vocal and often vicious in their love for him because he is a very important character who many people strongly identify with.
Sam Winchester is one of those people who just can't seem to catch a break. Life throws everything at him, from abuse and violation to mental illness and loss, and yet he constantly stands up in the face of it all. He grins and bears it; he carries on, even though he is knocked down at literally every turn. And throughout the years, all of the unfortunate experiences Sam has undergone have mirrored the lives of many fans, most of whom are marginalised and beaten down, just like Sam, for being who they are. So I love Sam, we love Sam, because we see ourselves in him; he represents people who struggle with mental illness, abuse and loss.
Sam is the addicts, who are misunderstood, often vilified by their closest loved ones, and ostracised by everyone for their constant battle with addiction. He is the insomniacs and the people plagued with nightmares. Sam is the depressed, for whom simply carrying on can be a struggle, because the weight of just existing can be too much sometimes. He is the suicidal, who believe their life is not worth saving because they've done so many terrible things. He's the people so desperate for the approval of their loved ones that they will give up their life because they feel so worthless without it. He is the individuals with empathy disorders, who are called monsters by society for their inability to feel, even though they couldn't help it anymore than Sam could help not having a soul. Sam is the schizophrenics, the psychosis sufferers, and the people everywhere who spend so much of their time trying to distinguish if the sounds they hear and the things they see are real or not. And he is the soldier, the victim, the witness, the person anywhere who suffers from PTSD; who has to deal everyday with the memories and the guilt and the fear caused by what they've been through.
And Sam represents the many of us who have struggled with violation and abuse. From the moment he was born, his life was under someone else's control; he was a game piece, being used and manipulated for somebody else's end, with little concern for his well being. His body has been abused, infected, invaded and violated by angels, demons and the devil himself.
Sam is the rape victim and the sexual assault survivor who feels dirty and guilty and shameful for what's been done to them. He is the victim who feels unworthy of love, undeserving of anything, because... who could love something so broken? He is the child who was neglected by his parent, and the adult who bears the scars of rejection from his own home for wanting something different. He is the person who feels they've never had any control over their life, and go to desperate measures to reclaim themselves.
Sam is us. He is the underdog, the victim, the survivor, the fighter. And he is something to aspire to be; Sam who tries his hardest to do what's right, even when it means losing everything he has. Sam who is constantly, unbelievably selfless, always putting others first and rarely thinking of himself. Sam who continues to have faith and believe in the good of people even though he's been manipulated or lied to or betrayed or violated by everybody he loves. Sam who is told by the one person he loves the most that he's not good enough, not strong enough, or that they just don't believe in him, and despite all that, he stands up for himself and says no more.
Sam who says "It's not fair and it hurts like hell, but it's worth it!". Sam who says "It's not what you are, it's what you do that counts!". Sam who trusts freely, forgives gracefully, loves unconditionally, and fights determinedly - against his own personal demons just as often as the monsters on his doorstep.
Sam reflects me, represents me. Sam encourages me, and Sam inspires me. That is why I love him.
