Pairing: Sam x Reader, Dean x Platonic!Reader, John Winchester (mentioned),
Summary: Imagine being an old hunting friend of Sam’s (and something more) from before he went to college that he thought was dead, and while coincidentally working on the same case you were, you run into each other again. Astonished to see you after almost twenty years, Sam tries to figure out how you survived, but you don’t want to relive the pain and terror of how you were separated.
Word Count: 949
Warnings: Implied PTSD (No disrespect to people with PTSD. Just something for the character), fluff, angst, eventual blood, gore, death, mild swearing.
Prompt: None
Disclaimers: I do not own anything from CW, Warner Brother’s, any of the photos in this collage, or you. This is a work of pure fiction -obviously.
Sam’s POV
The second I opened my eyes, I was blinded from the light peering through the window. I half expected to hear Dean's snoring, but it was quiet. I felt something move under my arm, and I realized there was someone else in the bed.
“Wait. No. It wasn’t a dream. She’s really here. Holy shit. Y/n’s really here, and I’m holding her in my arms.”
The way her hair caresses her shoulders is mesmerizing. Her slow breathing under my embrace, enchanting. The way the sun hits her y/h/c brightens her face. She seems much more peaceful than when she had that nightmare earlier this morning. The scar on her arm stands out to me. “Damn. That must have hurt,” I said to myself. I got lost in thought for a second before I heard a voice say, “It did.”
She startled me. I thought she was still asleep. “It hurt like a bitch for months,” she continued. “What time is it?”
“Uh…” I looked at the bedside clock “Almost 8.”
“Ah, crap.” She slipped out from under the covers and started walking to the bathroom.
“What’s up?” I asked, thinking she might have forgotten about something.
“Nothing,” she replied, waving a hand as she walked into the bathroom, closing the door.
“O-okay.” I got out of bed, walked to the kitchen sink, and grabbed a glass of water. “That was weird.”
As I walked back to the bed to grab my pants, Y/n walked out of the bathroom with her hair up and her shirt off, wiping her face with it. As she finished and opened her eyes, she saw me and jumped. “Oh, Jesus!” she exclaimed. She held her shirt to her chest, panting. “I’m sorry. I forgot you were here.”
“Are you okay? You seem really jumpy. Was it because I cuddled you in my sleep?”
“What? No, Sam. I-I mean, that was a little odd to wake up like that, but it wasn’t bad.” She said. “I just have a routine in the mornings, and I have things I need to do, and I usually am up and moving around 6:30, so I had to jump out of bed.”
She looked nervous, like she was hiding something. She did that thing where she rubbed her hands together. “No, no. It’s okay,” I replied. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to spook you like that. I’m uh… I’m not used to girls hopping out of bed like that.” She gave me a quizzical look. “I mean, I don’t sleep around a lot. Dean used to do that. I haven’t been with as many girls as he has. I just- What I’m trying to say is, if you’re worried about something, you don’t have to hide it from me.”
That seemed to calm her down a bit. “You don’t have to explain anything, Sam. I haven’t slept with a guy since,” she paused, “ well, since 2007? I think. And we technically didn’t even sleep together, we just shared a bed, you know, because you were being nice, and”
“Yeah,” I stammered.
“And I do appreciate it. I did sleep well,” said calmly as her hands dropped down from her chest to her stomach. “You don’t know how long it’s been since I’ve slept that well, even for a few hours.”
“Yeah, uh, no problem.” I said. “ I know what it’s like, with nightmares. Trust me, I’ve had a few myself over the years.”
“Yeah, what hunter hasn’t?” she quipped with a chuckle. She’s starting to come out of her shell.
“Look, um,” I started, “if you ever want to talk, I’m here. I know sometimes it helps, if you just get it off your chest.”
“Thanks, Sam,” she said rather quickly, “ but I’m okay. Really.” As she was nodding her head, I couldn’t help but notice that the scar on her arm was right next to her chest, where she was wearing nothing but her sports bra. “Look, Dean’s probably curious about where you’re at. You should probably head on over there, and we can grab some breakfast later.”
“Yeah. Yeah, uh, good idea.”
READER’S POV
Sam left my room, and I laid back down on the bed, his scent lingering on the sheets.
“Goddammit. Why did I have to tell him I only slept with one guy in the last 15 years? What the hell was that? Talk about cringey info-dump.” I looked up and grabbed my phone off the bedside table. There was a text from Dean.
“Off to get breakfast. I’ll be back in 30.” Timed 13 minutes ago.
“Okay, Y/L/N. Time to get into gear. Gotta figure out who this Okuri-inu is, gotta put on a brave face, and face down another day.” I told myself. Sam hadn’t come back yet. Probably grabbing a change of clothes. “Probably should change my clothes.”
“Why was Sam asking me if I was okay? It’s not like he still cares about me like that. Does he? No, he couldn’t. You heard him. He’s been with other girls. Probably met some cute girl in college that swept him off his feet and made him feel like he could do anything and everything.”
I could still taste the bathroom tap water on my the back of my tongue. I had to do it fast. If I stepped out of my routine too much, it could really screw with me.
Should I tell Sam what’s going on with me? Should I tell him where I’ve been, what I’ve been doing for the last 20 years? There’s no way he could save me from what I’ve been fighting with since that day. The monster in my head.
Summary: You were undoubtedly sick but the hunt must go on, right?
Word Count: 750
Masterlist
---
Currently you were deep into a werewolf hunt with Sam and Dean, trying to hide how awful you felt. You never got sick, so for you to call out of a hunt would just not be acceptable in your eyes. You were sure that if you kept going and fighting through you would be perfectly fine by the end of it and no one would be the wiser. How wrong you were.
Sam had managed to track down the rogue werewolf you guys were hunting and so all three of you were in the Impala on route to the destination. Hiding how you were feeling on the inside was a piece of cake for you, however hiding how you looked was not so easy. You were currently taking shallow breaths sitting in the back of the car with your head resting on the window relishing in its cooling sensation on your feverish forehead.
“Hey baby are you doing ok? You're a little quite” you heard Sam say from the front seat. “Yeah you're normally talking my ear off on all the cool lore facts you know, why so quiet?” Ok so Sam asking if you were ok was one thing, as your boyfriend it was his literal job to worry about you, However if Dean noticed that you were acting off it was another thing, you were starting to let your mask fall with how sick you were really feeling, yet you were determined to keep your composure and not let anything slip. “Yeah I'm fine, just a little warm is all” you replied, Sam and Dean seemed to accept this answer as they turned their eyes back to the road, though you could tell that Sam wasn't all that convinced as you didn't fail to spot his worried glances in the mirror.
It didn't take much longer to reach your destination and soon you were all hopping out of the car ready to kill this werewolf. As you exited the Impala you were quick to realise just how weak you were, your legs could only just hold your full weight and your vision was starting to falter and make you off balance, yet you were determined to get this hunt finished.
You all made your way deep into the woods and the werewolves cabin soon came into view. ‘Not much longer now’ you told yourself, feeling worse by the minute. As you got closer to the cabin it seemed that you all had spooked the werewolf and he took off running deeper into the woods, You, Dean and Sam not far behind running after him.
By this point however you had gotten worse and worse and not even 5 minutes into sprinting after the guy had you falling over heaving for breath lying on the ground while your vision had you spinning out.
“Oh shit Baby? Baby? Please answer me, are you ok?” you heard Sam yell, hovering above you, holding your face in his hands. “I knew you weren't ok, You have such a high fever why didn't you tell us?” he asked. At this point Dean had managed to catch up to the werewolf and successfully kill him so you guys didn't have to worry about him taking you all out while you were still lying there trying to stay conscious.
“Damn [Y/N] you look like shit” Dean’s assessment was correct and so Sam decided enough was enough and hoisted you up into his arms settling you into the car with your head in his lap while he held you.
At this point while you looked up from his lap gazing at the worried expression on his face, you felt guilt course through you knowing that if you just told them he wouldn't be looking so sad. “I'm sorry, I didn't want to mess up the hunt” you apologise while tears rolled down your face, both from the extreme guilt you had for making him worry and how shitty you were feeling.
“ I don't ever want to hear you apologise for being sick, you hear me? I know how much you didn't want to let us down sweetheart” at knowing that he wasn't mad or upset anymore the tears slowly stopped and the remaining tears on your cheek were quickly wiped away by Sam with a kiss on your forehead making you smile.
“And hey since you're sick you can have a piece of Dean’s pie” you heard him whisper in your ear making you laugh.
Thank you so much to everyone following this story, I really appreciate you.
Summary: This takes place after the finale. You are blurry wife. This is you and Sam’s story.
Pairing: Sam x Reader (we made it)
Warnings: Language, kissing (I KNOW), pining, just being fucking enthralled by Sam Winchester.
Read other parts here:
Chapter One
Chapter Two
Chapter Three
---------------------------------
"Guys! I cannot wear that!" You practically shouted over NSYNC, pointing at the lingerie in Holly's hand.
"Show him the goods!" Amy yelled back at you, grabbing the lingerie from Holly's hands and holding it against your body.
"No! I am wearing a sweater." You said, squaring your shoulders to try and look determined.
"The fuck you are," Holly said, poking her head around Amy to look at you.
"Y/N/N, you obviously don't have to wear this," Amy said, throwing the lingerie onto your bed. "But you do have to look different than you do every other day. Tonight is special. Dress like it." She said calmly, and you couldn't help but agree with a shoulder slump.
"Fine!" You said, throwing your head back in surrender. "Help me." You dramatically put your arms out and let them take over. Holly stepped over to your closet and began rummaging through all your clothes, making noises of disapproval and intrigue. Amy lovingly ran her fingers through your hair while giving "yes" and "no" s to Holly. You started to nervously play with your hands. Your thumb and forefinger find your wedding ring easily. The room fell away. The music, Holly and Amy, and even the gentle feeling of Amy's hands could no longer be sensed. You let out a breath and cleared your throat.
"Hey." You heard Holly say quietly. You looked to see her kneeling in front of you, her hands on your shoulders.
"Hey." You whispered.
"Remember, you aren't replacing him," Holly said, grabbing your left hand in yours, her thumb circling your wedding ring. "You are simply just making a little room." Her words put you at ease, and you took a deep, cleansing breath into your lungs.
"Thanks." You smiled at her before turning to get on your makeup. Holly turned around with a sheer black turtleneck and a lacy black bralette in her hands. She wore a knowing smirk.
"Why not?" You said with a sigh, reaching out your hand for the clothes.
About a half hour later, your doorbell rang. You smoothed your hands over your body, looking in the mirror one final time, even you had to admit. You looked good.
"Go get 'em," Amy said, giving you a wink as she raised her glass to her lips.
"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Holly said, leaning against Amy.
"And what exactly would that be?" Amy said back quickly, looking over at Holly.
"Goodbye, ladies!" You said, racing towards the door. You flung the door open and were greeted by a bouquet of flowers.
"Oh!" You stepped back to take in the sight. Sam stood before you, his hair softly blowing in the night air. His left hand held the flowers in front of him, in the middle of his chest. He wore his usual flannel, but it was unbuttoned more than usual, giving you a nice peak at his skin. A nervous yet dashing grin graced his pink lips, and you blushed like a schoolgirl.
---------------------------
Sam said goodbye to Miracle and climbed into the Impala. Before heading to your house, he checked his hair in the rearview one final time. A nervous dance of butterflies that felt like the size of airplanes crashed into his stomach and chest walls. He couldn't keep his eyes off you at the bakery today. Dusted with flour and frosting, laughing with ease at customers and friends. He found himself pulled to you.
He pulled into your driveway and stared at your house for a moment. He could hear music coming from inside, and the light in the upstairs bedroom was on. Was that your room? Were you nervously pacing as he had done before? He shook his head and grabbed the flowers. Telling himself to get it together. He had been on dates before. He had felt this indescribable tingle before. He fell to the same conclusion he always had whenever he tried to give himself this talk. The "calm down" talk. You were different.
Sam rang your doorbell and waited nervously for you to answer. After a few beats, the door flung open, and there you stood. Sam had never seen so much of your skin before. He swallowed and tried to settle his heart rate. You were breathtaking.
"Wow." You both said simultaneously, and you instantly looked down in shy embarrassment.
"Hi." He said, his voice lower than average.
"Hi." You said, leaning on one hip.
"Uh…for you," Sam said, stretching out his arm with the flowers. You took them in your hands and took in their sweet perfume.
"Thank you." You said softly, running the pad of your ring finger over some of the petals. "They're beautiful."
"So are you," Sam said quickly. "Sorry…uh…that was so cheesy." Sam laughed at himself, running his hand over his jaw in embarrassment. "True." He said more seriously. "But cheesy." His handsome face settled on a soft smile.
"I like cheese." You remarked, biting your bottom lip to hold back the laughter.
"Shall we?" Sam asked, holding out his elbow.
"We shall." You placed the flowers on the table next to the door and tucked your arm within his, god he smelt good.
The Impala was still warm from his drive over, and you could hear a slight rattle when the heat kicked on. You made pleasant conversation about your day and told Sam you were still on the hunt for an apartment for him. Sam drove you into town and parked outside a local restaurant.
"I wanted to try this place," Sam said, looking through the windshield.
"It's good." You nodded your head and went to open your door.
"Hold on there," Sam said, and before you could ask, he had bounded out of the car and practically jumped over the hood to open your door. He stood with his left hand facing palm up toward you, awaiting your grasp. You smiled and slid your fingers over his, feeling his warm skin.
"And they say chivalry is dead." You joked, letting him help you out of the car.
"I want to do this right." He said, holding onto your hand for a moment after you had gotten out of the car.
"Well, you are off to a great start." You assured him, taking a step closer to him and tilting your head back slightly.
Sam used his long legs and arms to open the door for you at the restaurant, even pulling out your chair when the waiter led you to your table. It was getting easier and easier to be completely spellbound by him. Conversation flowed easily between you two. Favorite foods/books/movies/colors were all discussed. His love and passion for all things, both simple and mystical, are becoming more evident. Sam was smart. Really smart. The words he used to discuss topics made it clear that he was an academic. He told you about law school and how he left to join the family business. There was a pain behind his eyes then. An untold story that you wanted to learn. You ate and laughed until your cheeks tingled from smiling. The waiter asked if you wished for dessert, and you both said yes. You ordered your favorite, and Sam ordered the chocolate chip cookies. Yours was pretty good, and you asked to try a nibble of Sam's. He handed you a piece, and you rolled it around in your mouth.
"Humm." You said, narrowing your eyes in thought.
"What?" He asked.
"Too much baking powder and they didn't cream the butter and sugar long enough." You answered, swallowing down the cookie.
"You can tell that from the little piece I gave you?" He asked, wide-eyed.
"It's my job." You answered. "Want me to show you how it should be done?" You asked, leaning toward him.
"Yes, please." He agreed, modeling your body language by leaning forward.
Sam paid, despite you offering him to go halves, and you made your way to the bakery. You walked in and turned on the lights, going through your regular habits.
"Ok, so first, we need soft butter and sugar." You said, grabbing what you needed and leading him to your kitchen mixer. He watched you intently as you instructed him on how much to add and how long to mix them. You made the dough and removed the bowl.
"Ok, now we will fold in the chocolate chips until they are combined. We don't want to over mix, or we will get a tough cookie." You said, pouring in the chocolate.
"What does "fold in" mean?" Sam asked.
"I'll teach you." You said. "Stand behind me." You spoke with a flick of your head. Sam cleared his throat but obliged and stood behind your body. You took his hands into yours and pulled him tightly against you, feeling his muscular body. He let out a slight noise but otherwise remained still. You placed his left hand on the side of the bowl and his right on the spatula. You put your hand over him to guide him.
"Ok, so, to fold. You simply go to the bottom of the bowl and scoop all the way around to the top. It's a gentle way to incorporate something." You explained, moving his hands with yours.
"I feel like Patrick Swayze." He joked about the famous scene in Ghost.
"Don't be ridiculous." You said with a laugh. "Patrick Swayze is far more handsome." You teased, and you both had a laugh together.
"Very true, but Demi Moore has got nothing on you." He said softly, and you could feel his breath against the curve of your neck. Closing your eyes, you turned your head towards his. Sam's left hand fell away from the bowl and wrapped around your waist, making you shiver with goosebumps. He gave you a tight squeeze and let you go before stepping away. You instantly missed his touch. Finishing the cookies was difficult now that your heart felt like it was about to explode. You placed the tray into the oven and turned towards him.
"They need about 15 minutes." You could barely speak around your growing arousal.
"Tell me a secret," Sam said suddenly, and your stomach dropped.
"What?" You asked with a curious smile.
"Tell me something you have never told anyone. I want to know you better." He said.
"I don't know if there is anything I have never told anyone…I mean, I have had the same best friend since I can remember…I was married…well," You stopped talking and tilted your head. "There is something. I honestly forgot about it until now." You said, leaning on the counter.
"What is it?" He asked, leaning too so he could look into your eyes.
"When I was a little girl, please don't make fun, but when I was a little girl…I thought everyone had their own moon." You laughed, and Sam laughed too.
"Like there were just billions of moons in the sky?" Sam asked.
"Hey! I was like six!" You defended yourself against Sam's teasing. "But yes. I thought everyone had their own moon just for them…that only they could see. I was quite obsessed with princesses, and they are always looking for their one true love." You said with a little eye roll. "So I thought that you and your one true love shared a moon. That only the two of you could see your moon. And I remember on nights when I couldn't sleep, I would sit and stare out my window at my moon and wonder if my one true love was looking back. I wondered what he saw. Did he just see the moon, or did he see me?" You stopped talking and looked down at the floor, a sad smile crossing your lips. "That's my secret, I guess."
"I like that secret," Sam said, and you felt yourself lost in him.
"I like you." You said, opening the space for more. The ding of the timer scared both of you, and you quickly laughed it off. Grabbing the cookies, you placed them on the counter.
"They have to cool." You said, but your words were swallowed by Sam's body closing in around you completely. You took in a shuttering breath and leaned your head against his chest, feeling his hands slide down your abdomen to your hips. He spun you around to face him.
"I like you too, but I am petrified to cross a line." He admitted, taking your face in his hands.
"I think you should tell me something no one knows, and then we are even. No lines crossed." You reassured him. He nodded and looked down.
"There's a lot of things I never told anyone before, but I want to focus on you." He said, running his thumb over your jaw. "Right now, I want to tell you that you feel…well, you feel like you have always been there. You feel known to me, yet I can't wait to see what you will do next. You feel familiar but still exciting and intoxicating. I feel like I have known you my whole life." His eyes seemed to melt into yours as he spoke. Time stopped around you. All you could see sense was Sam. His scent, his warmth, his strong yet welcoming body. All past thoughts of uncertainty fell to the wayside, and you knew you wanted him.
"You know. It's been a while since I have been on a date." You said, running your hands up his chest, around his neck, and into his hair. Your pointer finger coming up his neck and hooking under his chin. "Remind me how they usually end, Sam." That simple instruction was all it took for the walls to come down. The ropes that Sam had tied himself with to ensure he never overstepped broke free, and a hunger filled his soul. He grabbed your thighs and lifted you onto the counter, pressing his body between your legs. Your back arched into him, and he pulled your mouth to his. The kiss began softly, but weeks of anticipation and build-up turned it quickly into something greedy and ravenous. You tasted like the chocolate that you had licked off your thumb earlier.
His hands seemed to be everywhere all at once. In your hair. Down your back. Around your waist. You felt drunk on him. His teeth grazed your bottom lip, quickly followed by his tongue to soothe you. You opened your mouth to him, and his soft moan filled you. Suddenly he broke away.
"Are you ok?" He asked you.
"What?" You asked around heavy breaths. "Of course." You were confused.
"You're crying." He said, wiping the tears from your cheeks with his thumbs. It was then that you felt the sting of tears in your eyes.
"Oh." You whispered.
"Am I the first…" He let his words trail off. You knew what he meant.
"Kiss since Josh?" You finished for him. "You're my first anything since Josh." You swallowed around the lump in your throat.
"We don't have to do this," Sam said, taking your hand in his.
"I'm sorry. I didn't expect to cry." You apologized, trying to blink the tears away.
"No need to be sorry. I would assume it's perfectly normal given the circumstances." He assured you, running his hand over your hair.
"Please don't think I don't want this." You said, tracing the outline of his lips with your finger.
"I know you do. I want it too, but we can go as slow as you need." Sam pressed his forehead against yours and wrapped his fingers around the nape of your neck.
"Kiss me again." You said, nudging his nose with yours.
"Y/N…" Sam whispered, his voice deep in his chest.
"Sam…" You said, letting your fingertips grip his hair as you wrapped your legs tighter around his waist.
"I think you are going to kill me." He mumbled as you lowered your mouth to his neck, leaving small open-mouthed kisses against his skin. His hands were back on you, sliding under the fabric of your shirt. His large hand grabbed the back of your head and pulled you to him, his mouth closing around yours again. Large thumbs brushed against your nipples over your bra, and a moan came from within you. Sam slid your shirt over your head, not wasting any time latching his mouth onto any place he could reach. Soft pink lips leaving wet marks across your skin with occasional bite marks in between. You unbuttoned his flannel and pushed it off his shoulders. He grabbed the back of his t-shirt and pulled it over his head. You watched the muscles of his arms and shoulders move as he did. Your fingers grazed over his skin, twirling in his chest hair lovingly.
"You're beautiful." He mumbled against your ear.
"I take back what I said." You said with a smile. He pulled back to look at you, confused. "You are far more handsome than Patrick Swayze." You both laughed, and you let your hands still wander his body. He pulled you in again, but it felt slower. His kisses became less frantic, and his hands seemed to hold you instead of exploring.
"As much as I would love to keep going. This may be enough for one night. Let me take you home." He wasn't pushy, his voice even and calm. You also wanted to keep going, to feel him inside and out. But you had to admit that going any further would probably make you spiral again, so you nodded in agreement and accepted his hand, helping you off the counter. You both pulled your shirts back on and made your way to the Impala. The drive home was quiet but not uncomfortable. There really wasn't much to say after tonight. You asked about Miracle, and he asked if Holly and Amy would still be at your house, but overall it was just time spent together.
He pulled into your driveway and walked you to your door. Stopping to look at you, his hands shoved into his pockets.
"I had an amazing time tonight. That was the best time I have had in well…I don't remember." He said, brushing his hair behind his ear.
"I had a great time too, Sam. Thank you for a beautiful evening." You stepped closer to him, wrapping your arms around his waist. He quickly responded by wrapping you into his arms, his head resting on yours.
"I'll see you tomorrow?" You asked as you pulled away.
"Can't keep me away now." He said with a smile.
You took the two steps up to your front door and turned around, looking Sam in the eye as you were now height level. You took his face in your hands and leaned in close. His arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you into him.
"Thank you for being so understanding." You said to him.
"Y/N, you call the shots on you and me. Wherever you are is where I will be." He said before laying his lips on yours again. This kiss was passionate but slower as if you had all the time in the world. When you finally pulled apart, he gave you a lopsided grin that made your knees wobbly.
"Goodnight." You whispered.
"Goodnight." He said before kissing your forehead and walking back to his car.
You inhaled deeply before going back inside. Everything was different now. Your life seemed on a different path, and you couldn't wait to turn the page. You touched your lips still wet from his kiss, and smiled to yourself. This was only the beginning.
Summary: Cuddles and talks with Sam on the way home as he tries to make sure you’re okay. When you get home, Dean wants to get to the bottom of what caused your panic attack.
Previous chapters: One Two Three
A/N: Link to AO3 if you prefer to read there. Thanks for reading :) It means a lot to me when you take the time to like/reblog or leave a comment letting me know you liked my story. I appreciate all of you <3
You were both quiet for the first few hours of the drive and at about ten o'clock you found yourself unconsciously curling up and falling asleep with your head resting on Sam's thigh.
“Goodnight,” he whispered as he gently ran his fingers through your hair.
Sometime later, you woke to the sound of Sam whispering on the phone. You kept your eyes shut and remained absolutely still.
“No... I don't know, Dean, she didn't say,” he murmured before a short pause. “It could be anything. I just know she never wanted me to know. Or that's how the witch put it.… Yeah, man, I mean, maybe. I hope you're right... I'm just not sure.…...... I just asked if she was okay with whatever it was about and she said she didn't know yet.…. yeah, probably.…. yeah, alright, I better go. We'll be home in a few hours… ok, yeah, you too.”
He set his phone beside him on the seat before resting his outstretched arm over yours which was laying across the length of your side. You wanted so badly for everything to just go back to how it had been when you woke up that morning, when everything was natural and easy between you, when you were focused on the case and each other. You tried not to dwell on what might happen when you told him. And you had to tell him. It was an inevitability at this point, wasn't it? He'd tell you that he could push it aside but curiosity would get the better of him and it would be human nature for him to think of the worst possible things you could've done. This was bad but this wasn't one of those things. This wasn't the worst thing you could do. That didn't mean he'd be okay with it, though. You'd lied to him, by omission, for over a year and manipulated his mind; something that his brother had done to him so many times you almost couldn’t count them on one hand anymore. You'd hardly be able to blame him if he were to say he needed some time apart... to think. But he'd have to come back around... he had to. You and Sam... you were it for each other.
Your mind was racing as you thought it all through and at some point between pretending to be asleep and your mind reeling with all the horrible possible outcomes, you'd forgotten to pretend to sleep.
“How you doin' down there?” Sam asked with a light chuckle. Your reverie broke and you realized you were staring straight ahead, eyes wide and distant. You turned your head to look up at Sam and you gave him a small smile before a yawn escaped your lips and you quickly pulled your hand over your mouth to cover it.
“You looked like you were thinking about something really important,” he said, glancing between you and the road.
“I was,” you replied.
“Any chance you're gonna fill me in?” he asked as he crooked his arm over your shoulder and gently hung his arm across your chest with his hand resting over your heart.
“You know I'll answer any question you ask me,” you said.
“But you don't want to talk about this yet?” he asked.
“Is that okay?” you asked as your brows knit together, your tone a mixture of apology and concern.
“Of course it is,” Sam said. He sounded hurt that you'd even think otherwise. You nodded slowly at him. Of course it was okay. Sam was so understanding and kind... how could you have ever thought that he might ask you to stop hunting when it was such a big part of your life.
“I just have one... two questions. And if you don't want to answer them then just say so,” he said.
You tried to say 'okay' but it turned into a giant yawn and Sam laughed.
“Okay,” you repeated nervously when the yawn passed. You turned away from him again and faced the Impala’s console.
“You're physically okay, right? I mean, all I know is that you have a secret. That could be... absolutely anything. You could be hiding an illness… or something from me,” he said as he moved his arm to drape it across your stomach.
You chuckled softly at his concern. “I'm healthy, Sam. I'm not... pregnant, god forbid, or sick or anything like that and believe me, I'd tell you immediately,” you replied. You continued laying on your side with your legs bent toward you. It felt safer like this. You never had to make eye contact with him. Maybe that made you a coward but Sam had those eyes... those big, hazel, puppy dog eyes and it was impossible to look in them and know you'd been less than what he expected or deserved.
“So, um...,” he started. You took a deep breath, bracing yourself. “Was it something you did... that you knew would hurt me or that I wouldn't like and that's why you hid it?”
A moment passed before you found the courage to answer. “Yeah,” you said darkly.
With each passing second the silence in the car seemed to grow more deafening. You focused on the soothing sounds of the road as the tires glided over the pavement. You thought about your list of the most important things you needed to be okay. Sam was alive and safe. Dean was alive and safe. Cas was alive and safe. Charlie was alive and safe. Yep, that was all the knowledge you needed to get from one moment to the next. As long as those things remained true, nothing was really that bad.
Sam cleared his throat, as if he knew you'd need to brace yourself for what he had to say. “I feel silly asking this cause I know you better but it's the only thing my mind keeps coming back to, so I’m sorry. Did you- … Did you sleep with someone else?”
“No...,” you said with a pained sigh. You sat up and looked at him, an anguished expression on your face. “Sam... never... no,” you said as you slowly shook your head. Sam's sorrowful eyes lingered on you before darting back to the road and then back to you. He took a deep breath and sighed as he unconsciously nodded. He knew you would never… could never. He took one hand off the steering wheel and opened his arm to you. Without hesitation you crashed to him and nuzzled your face in the crook of his neck as he wrapped you in his free arm. He sighed again, relieved to have you close, in his arms.
You drifted in and out of sleep for the rest of the drive and not once did Sam let up his touch. He draped his arm over you, or ran his fingers through your hair or caressed your cheek with his thumb or pulled you closer. You wanted to believe it was just his usual, sweet gestures but you couldn't fight the feeling that it was forced, like he thought if he acted like everything was normal, then it would be; or that if he held you long enough and made you feel loved enough, it would somehow magically erase the past.
Sam pulled the Impala into the garage of the bunker and you both silently climbed out of the car, slung your bags over your shoulders and you followed Sam as you made your way inside. Dean was sitting in the library with a glass of whiskey as he watched some old western on his laptop. It was half past two in the morning, you hadn't expected him to still be up.
He'd want to talk. He'd want answers. ‘Great,’ you thought.
“Hey,” he said as he paused the movie and looked up from the screen You gave him a hesitant smile and he glanced between you and Sam as he tried to read the mood between the two of you.
“Hey,” Sam replied before continuing past him and disappearing down the hall. You didn't really feel like being alone with a brooding Sam in your bedroom but you also didn't want to talk about any of this with Dean. You decided Sam was the lesser of two evils and attempted to breeze past Dean but he jumped out of his chair and caught you by the arm.
“Oh, I don't think so,” he said flatly as he pulled you back until you were in front of him and he released your arm. You huffed and rolled your eyes as you dropped your heavy bags to the floor like a petulant teenager caught sneaking in after curfew. You crossed your arms and shifted your weight to one leg as you glanced off to the side, avoiding the full force of Dean's glare.
“Talk to me,” he said as he crossed his arms too.
“I'm tired, Dean,” you said in a half-hearted attempt to end the conversation before it started.
“That's nice,” he said.
You sighed. “I don't want to talk about it, Dean.”
“I know you. I’ve never seen you freak before. You wouldn't spiral into a full-blown panic attack unless it was something serious,” he said as he shook his head.
“And?”
Dean sighed and rolled his eyes as he sat back down in his chair and took a sip from his glass. When he saw that you were still standing he bugged his eyes out and motioned to the chair beside him. You took a deep breath and pulled the chair out from the table and sat down.
“I knew this was a terrible idea, you two dating. I hate that I started to think I didn't have to worry about this anymore. I thought it was gonna work,” he sighed before taking another sip and passing the glass to you.
You hesitated for a moment before grabbing the glass and downing the rest of the whiskey in one gulp. You coughed at the burning in your throat but it was exactly what you needed. Dean sighed and nodded, realizing this was a finish-the-whole-bottle kind of night and not a share-one-glass kind of night. He pulled the glass back and quickly refilled it before shooting it back and wincing at the burn. He refilled it again and slid it back to you where you once again gulped it down in a single swig. You shook your head in disgust at the taste and swallowed hard as you fought the burning sensation.
“Please don't say that, Dean. I'm trying really hard to not think like that so just... don't… please,” you said as you waved your hand at him.
“I- I'm sorry,” he said as he shook his head. “You've just got me a little freaked out, okay?”
“I know, but you're my best friend. I need you to spread a little more positivity or I... I'm gonna fall apart. I'm barely holding it together over here,” you said as you choked back your tears.
“Hey, it's gonna be okay, kiddo,” Dean said as he reached over and gently patted your knee. “You gotta give me something to work with, though.” He smiled reassuringly at you, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
You hesitated as you stared distantly at the empty glass, your eyes brimming with tears. You turned your face toward the ceiling as you tried to blink them back. When you were safe from the fall of tears, you looked back to Dean who was watching you expectantly.
“I... I think I really fucked up, Dean,” you said, your voice shaking.
“Jesus...,” Dean sighed. “What did you do? Don't tell me you cheated on him...” he said, sounding almost as hurt as Sam had when he asked you the same question.
“God, Dean... no. Do you really think I'd do that?” you asked, disgusted at the thought.
“Of course I don't, but I'm grasping at air here,” he explained. “What else could be so bad?”
“It's not that bad... but it's still bad,” you said as you shook your head. “Maybe worse.”
“What did you do?”
You sighed and shook your head. “I can't tell you before I've told Sam.”
“So you're gonna tell him?” he asked as he hunched forward in his seat.
You took a deep breath. “Do I have a choice?”
“He won't make you.”
“He'll make me in every way except for literally making me,” you said with a morose chuckle.
Dean nodded in agreement. “How was he on the ride home?”
“We didn't talk much. I slept a lot. He kept his arm around me most of the time which was nice... considering...,” you trailed off and cleared your throat as you caught yourself. Dean shifted in his seat and shook his head slightly. He hated to hear you talk about the nice things Sam did; said it made his skin crawl. You busted out with a soft giggle. The alcohol was beginning to loosen you up. A smile flashed across Dean's lips as he looked up at you.
“But... he seemed... hurt,” you said, getting back to his question. “I guess without even knowing why or what, he's just hurt that I'd keep anything from him,” you said with a sigh.
Dean poured himself more whiskey and drank it down. “More?” he asked. You nodded and he poured a glass before passing it to you. You took a sip, deciding you’d better slow down your pace.
“Did you tell him anything?” he asked.
“He wanted to know if I was hiding cancer or an illness from him… which I'm not. And he asked if I hid it because I knew it would hurt him. Which I did. And he asked if I cheated on him. Which I didn't,” you explained. You smiled unconsciously at Dean before taking another sip. You were back in the fox hole with Dean, just like in purgatory, and it was oddly comforting.
“I was just thinking about that night in purgatory. We'd found Cas- I think it was our second night with him. We were telling funny stories, trying to get each other to laugh, I guess,” you said, smiling to yourself. “Remember how Cas kept calling me one of your strays?” you asked, smiling up at Dean.
Dean chuckled. “Yeah, he was being such an asshole... until I told him he was the first stray.”
You laughed, a little louder than you meant to. “I forgot about that. That shut him up.” You grinned as you took a gulp of your drink. A beat passed and you began to stare distantly at the table.
“Can you tell me a story like you did back then?” you asked before glancing hesitantly up at Dean. He watched you for a moment, his face unreadable before he gave you a small, sad smile and patted your knee.
“Yeah, Y/N, I'll tell you a story,” he said as he reached over and squeezed your shoulder. He picked up the glass and smirked at you as he drank the whiskey down. “Sorry, you were nursing it and I needed a drink.”
Half an hour later you were wandering down the hall to your bedroom with a dopey grin on your lips, trailing your fingers along the wall as you strolled. Dean, with a little help from the alcohol, had managed to make you feel better. It was a false happiness, though. Your problem still existed and it was only going to get worse. But you pushed that out of your mind. You just wanted to feel happy for a little while, like everything was practically idyllic and Sam would love you forever like you'd felt yesterday before it all crumbled into the sea.
You reached your door and grasped the handle as you steadied yourself with a deep breath. You pushed the door open slowly and found that Sam had left the table lamp on your side of the bed on so that you could find your way around the room.
“Thoughtful... adorable... little... shit,” you muttered as you crept in.
He was asleep on his side, facing away from your half of the bed. You shut the door behind you as gently and quietly as you could manage before making your way to your dresser. You stood before it and clumsily kicked off your shoes before peeling off your jeans and tossing them into the hamper. It took a few moments of struggling to pull your jacket off but you finally managed and hung it on the hook at the back of the door. You leaned against the dresser to pull off your socks, aimed and tossed them at the hamper and… missed. You also attempted to toss your bra and t-shirt but they landed on the floor next to the socks. You pulled on an old, comfy t-shirt.
You turned and watched Sam for a moment. He was softly snoring, his hair already a jumbled mess. You sighed happily. With Sam asleep, he looked like nothing was wrong. It made it easier for you to pretend, too. You pulled the covers back and climbed into bed before turning off the lamp and plunging your room into total darkness.
The last thing you wanted to do was wake up Sam but you also couldn't fight the part of you that wanted to wrap yourself around him like cling wrap on a frosted cupcake and you were just drunk enough that your actions seemed to happen before your conscious mind could stop you. You pressed yourself against his back and wrapped your arm around his chest as you leaned over and began gently pressing kisses to his shoulder. You trailed your kisses up along his neck and the side of his head and then his cheek. You giggled softly as you stopped, your sleepiness getting the better of you, and fell back with a whoosh as the air was squeezed out of your fluffy pillow. You kept yourself wrapped around Sam, though, with your top leg hitched over his hip and your nose tickling the back of his neck.
“Mmm... I love you, Sam Winchester,” you murmured. You took a deep breath, inhaling the scent of him, and drifted off into a peaceful sleep.
Long-haired moose- Sam Winchester x Reader (requested)(smut)
Supernatural Masterlist
Sam Winchester Masterlist
Supernatural Smut Masterlist
request: Hello are you currently accepting request submissions for supernatural? If so could I request Sam Winchester x Reader? Plot idea: Sam finds out somehow that the reader likes guys with long hair so he grows his out very long, and constantly plays with it/flips and swings it around/ties it up whenever he’s alone with the reader in hopes of effectively teasing them. Could lead to smut in the end but I’ll leave that up to your own creative direction! You’re a very talented writer I’m so happy to have followed you a while ago! xx <3
A/N: I did put that Sam did cut his hair at the beginning and then he lets it grow. But with the ´´cutting hair`` thing. He didn’t cut it to Dean’s level, but it was much shorter than Sam’s casual hair.
Also, it is the first time I am trying to write smut with a first person POV.
Pairing: Sam x female! reader
Warnings: fluff, jealous moose- I mean Sam, angry Sam (just a little bit), smut, a little bit of angry sex, rough sex, hair pulling kink (both), oral (Sam receiving), teasing, protected sex (stay safe), cursing, doggy style, cowgirl style.
Y/N’s POV:
Some months ago, I was in the bunker, watching TV with Sam and Dean. Sam was passing his hands through his shorter hair, some weeks ago he had cut it and I was a little bit upset about it.
Anyways, in the TV, the advertisement ended and the series about Vikings were starting. Sam wasn’t such a big fan, but Dean and I where fans.
Suddenly, my favorite character came into scene, he reminded me of Sam because he was tall, muscular and had long hair. And, yeah, I liked Sam.
´´Dean, Dean, look at him ,he is so beautiful`` I said, catching Sam’s attention. He clenched his jaw. I could see jealousy painted all over his face.
Dean rolled his eyes playfully, knowing exactly what I was doing, while Sam was scanning the character. I continued to ´´simp`` over this character, while Sam was getting more and more tense. He even left the room, I could swear his face was red from anger.
Well, anyways, that was a few months ago. Sam never let us watch that series ever again. He went on hunts alone sometimes, but it was normal, right? One thing was sure, he had let his hair grow and not
Some days after Sam went off on a hunt with Dean, leaving me at the bunker, Cas came to visit me.
Cas told me that Sam had sent him. I was blessed he wasn’t that angry.
My angel friend told me that Sam had a lot of crazy feelings about me. Even tho I understood what they where when Cas explained them, he seemed pretty confused.
For what I could understand, Sam did love me, but he was jealous that I didn’t pay much attention to him when I saw men with longer hair.
´´ Why is Sam always thinking about your thing with the hair?`` Cas asked, tilting his head. I laughed slightly. ´´ Because I like men with long hair`` Cas nodded but still look confused. ´´But like in a romantic or human sexual way?``he then asked.
I blushed when I responded ´´Both ways, but is a huge turn on``.
[Dean’s POV]
Sammy was acting all strange, since Y/N had simped over that viking character. But what really fucked up was the fact that Sam started to do some hairstyles just like the character.
I swear, if they don’t stop the eye fucking each other, Imma make them do it.
Well, Castiel appeared once we were about to hit the hay. He came looking at Sam and murmured something into his ear, something that made him darken his eyes and smile.
[Few days later]
[Y/N’s POV]
Sam came back from the hunt, Dean had some business to deal with and he would stay a few more days out.
Sam was way more talkative with me since he came back. That made me really happy.
Then again, we found each other in the same place where everything started. In the living room. I couldn’t take my eyes off Sam. Well, more exactly to his hair. He had put it into a low ponytail. It wasn’t long enough to make it to a real ponytail, but like a pigtail was perfect to describe it.
He was all the time taking it off, or changing the hairstyle, or just ruffling it and letting it fall all over his face. And let’s just say that I was getting really really damp wet down there.
Sam turned to me. ´´You know you are cute when you are looking at me trying to not be seen`` he said smiling at me. I looked at him wide-eyed.
He flipped his hair before cupping one side of my face. He leaned in, and I did so.
His lips smashed over mine with savage force. ´´Oh, you don’t even know how much I’ve been waiting for this`` he said, in between kisses. I didn’t know I could move my lips in such sync with his.
It was a strong and passionate kiss, but it still was a little bit gentle. His large hands rested on the sides of my face, mine were on the back of his neck.
This soon wasn’t enough to any of us. He got up holding my hand. I was guided to his room (just in case Dean came back).
Just as the door was closing Sam caught my lips again and this time he was pulling on my hair. I let out a moan, catching his hair too. He groaned sweetly against my mouth.
Before I could know we were on the bed, roughly making out. ´´Oh, honey`` Sam moaned, while trailing kisses down my neck. His erecting member hard against my thigh (through his trousers).
I passed my hand over his bulge. He groaned, freeing his throbbing cock out of his clothing. It was huge compared to the ones I had seen in my life and in porn. He had a monster in his pants and I hadn’t noticed until I had it in front of my face.
I started licking his tip, sending shivers all over him. He started moving his hips softly to make his cock hit my throat. He then grabbed my hair, pulling at it gently, and making me moan against his staff, sending the vibration all over it.
Sam was a moaning mess, he could not even articulate any word, just mumble things in between groans.
´´Uh.... Im..... I’m cumming`` he moaned, pulling harder at my hair, putting his whole length inside my mouth. He then began to shiver while he cummed all over my throat and mouth.
I swallowed it, showing him my perfectly clean mouth. He kissed me, before pulling up my skirt. He rolled a condom over his length, I coulnd’t imagine they did sizes that big. I pulled my panties aside, sinking slowly into his cock. His length hunted a little bit, but soon enough I was jumping over his cock over and over again. My hips couldn’t stop moving. I was going for my own release. Sam got up and let me on fours over the mattress. He then began pounding me hard. He hit my G-spot several times.
I was a moaning mess, he was a freaking beast. Then he started grabbing my hair again, making me arch my back and almost hit my climax. He then pushed his dick all the way in, cumming inside of the condom and making me cum.
I hadn’t cummed harder in all my life. It was awesome.
[Few Weeks later]
Sam and I started going out, he was sweet an caring outside the bedroom, but in bed he was a total beast.
All I had to do to get him in the mood while watching tv was pull softly at his hair, and he would be already giving me hickeys on my neck.
You sat cross-legged on the battered leather sofa, leant over the coffee table awkwardly reaching out for your phone. The display screen flashed with the message 'no new notifications' and your heart sank further into your already weakening chest.
Sam and Dean had left earlier that day, without asking you about whether you wanted to join them on that particular hunt. You at least expected Sam to talk to you, he usually did, with kind words and a furrowed brow explaining the situation.
They had been gone for most of the day, and the outlines of a crimson red sunset were now visible through the motel blinds. Exhaling loudly, you stood up, stretching your weary legs that had become somewhat immobile due to how long you'd been sat down.
When Sam walked in just over half an hour later, you had returned to the kitchen in your pyjama shorts and tank top, hair loosely braided over your shoulder. You turned to him, placing the mug of coffee you'd made down on the counter and waiting for the excuses to flood your ears.
"(Y/N)... I'm sorry we should have told you, I just..." He began, stepping closer to you and extending his hand.
"Sam, no. I don't want to hear it okay?" Your tone became punctuated with anger and hurt, "It's because I'm not good enough, isn't it? You think I'm a useless hunter and no good to anyone."
Sam's eyes widened in horror, and he strode towards you, "Don't you ever say that (Y/N). If only you knew how important you were to me and Dean maybe you'd understand."
A small sob escaped your lips, and you couldn't face him anymore, "Sam, I do understand. You go out on long hunts for the sake of it and hope that when you come back, I'll be gone. I'm only here because you felt sorry for me once. Simple."
Sam moved to pull you into him, but you weren't having it. Turning towards the bathroom door, you quickly walked inside and bolted the door, needing to be alone.
Once inside the bathroom, all your bottled up emotions came pouring out in a hot flurry of tears cascading down your cheeks, you were aware of Sam knocking on the door and calling your name softly. Still, you knew he would leave eventually if you ignored his pleas.
"Y/N? Please listen to me. You mean everything to Dean and me. You are one of the best hunters we've ever met, and that's no lie, but sometimes hunts are extremely dangerous, you know that. We... I...can't bear to see you hurt or worse, because we couldn't be there to protect you at the right time. I've come to depend on your company in a lot of ways. Seeing you smile is one of the most beautiful things in this world... And hell probably in any other world too."
You didn't know how long you had been leaning against the bathroom door, slumping forward with your head in your hands, recalling the sweet things Sam had said to you. It was apparent he had become overcome with fatigue and succumbed to sleep, as you could hear soft hushed breathing coming from the other side of the door and the occasional shifting of limbs. Guilt washed over you, he had been hunting all day and you had only added to that stress.
Carefully, you unbolted the door, peering down you saw Sam's eyes open wide and he looked up at you, an expression of hope drawn across his features. How could you deny how much you loved this man anymore? With one swift motion, he moved away and stood, brushing himself down and gazing at you in a way that made your heart pound and your cheeks flush.
Taking a small step towards him, it gathered all your courage to look into his eyes, all remnants of anger towards him long since forgotten.
Finally, it was Sam who gave in, pulling you to him and entangling you in a tight embrace. He must have guessed that he was on the verge of making you cough up your lungs, so he loosened his grip, letting out a small laugh of relief. You, in turn, wrapped your arms around his waist and buried your head into his chest.
"Sam... Will you, er would you sleep with me tonight? I haven't been able to sleep these past few nights, and it would really help to have you there." You asked nervously, swallowing your rising nerves with a few hiccups. He sighed softly against your hair, "Y/N it would be my pleasure."
You lay entwined in each other between the roughly strewn sheets of the bed, Sam's content expression was mirroring yours as he drew soothing circles on your palm. Now you could see up close just how worn out and tired he looked, how selfish you had been to make him go through what you had.
You only hoped that quiet nights like this would be a frequent occurrence.
You hadn't wanted to go out, but your eager group of friends had insisted that you do something else other than sit in and read on a Saturday night, disagreeing with them had supposedly been out of the question.
"Y/N you look great, trust me!"
"I really don't want to be here..." You mumble as you shuffle awkwardly into the unwelcoming blackness, hoping they would hear and at least feel a little bad for dragging you here.
Calling the bar crowded was probably the biggest understatement your friend could have made, the number of people in there made you want to run outside and gasp for air.
Social situations were not your thing, but no one seemed to understand that saying 'Stop being so quiet' was quite simply going to have no effect on the matter no matter how many times they told you.
It only took twenty minutes before you decided enough was enough, the only men that had talked to you were either drunk or just plain disgusting. Letting out a sharp exhale of breath, you sat down in a less busy corner of the bar, leaving your friends giggling remarks about you wanting to blend in with the wallpaper.
"Do you mind if I sit here?"
A deep voice made you look up, a pink flush began spreading across your cheeks as you registered that the guy was super attractive.
"Y-yeah... Sure."
The man gave you a small smile before sitting down on the cushioned bench next to you.
"I'm Sam by the way."
"Y/N."
You give him the tiniest hint of a smile, but it was all you could manage. The night had worn you out, and it had literally been an hour since you arrived.
"You don't look too happy to be here."
Sam chuckled softly, his eyes warm and kind. You turned to face him, rolling your eyes and sighing loudly. "How anyone can call this 'fun' I'll never understand... This is possibly the worst place to bring an introvert." You stopped talking, blushing again and looking down at your hands, feeling a weight shift at the end of the bench you figured Sam had left. So it came as a shock when you glanced up to see him sat closer to you than before. "I agree..." His soft voice almost inaudible over the roar of human laughter and music. "I want to be at home with a book and-" the man next to you let out a laugh, which you took to mean as was messing with you, he thought you strange, just like everyone did.
Clenching your jaw, you shifted away from probably the only sober man in the bar and decided you'd had enough. Gathering up your purse, you stood up to leave.
"Stay, please, I'm sorry if I've offended you Y/N, I didn't mean to... I was just nervous, you're so beautiful." Sam met your gaze, his lips curling into a worried frown, he sounded so genuine, and you began to realise his laugh had probably not been one of mockery but one of understanding. It was crazy to you to think this man actually wanted to be here with you, rather than hooking up with one of the many beautiful women dancing in front of you.
Sam looked over at you sympathetically, “My brother is here too. I lost him a while ago. This isn’t really my scene either.”
Resuming your seat, secretly thanking your friends for making you go out, you smiled for the first time that night, hoping that you could get to know him a little better.
Sam nudged you with his elbow, "Hey, we can be alone together."
