#sandra daugherty

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Paget Brewster, Sandra Daugherty & Carla Cackowski on the Fullers Ferry Tour of Waiheke Island in New Zealand

@pftompkins: Photo shoot 2 #TAHDownUnder

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Hal Lublin, Paget Brewster, Sandra Daugherty, Carla Cackowski & Craig Cackowski at the Waiheke Island Ferry Terminal in New Zealand 

@pftompkins: Railing pals. #TAHDownUnder

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Paul F. Tompkins, Ben Acker & Paget Brewster on the Fullers Ferry Tour of Waiheke Island in New Zealand (x)

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Craig Cackowski, Ben Acker, Paul F. Tompkins, Carla Cackowski, Paget Brewster & Sandra Daugherty at the Stonyridge Vineyard in Waiheke, New Zealand 

(via @carlacackowski)

[tvguidancecounselor]

(via https://soundcloud.com/kenreidcomedian/tvgc110sandradaughertysexnerdsandra?utm_source=soundcloud&utm_campaign=share&utm_medium=tumblr)

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I love the Sex Nerd Sandra podcast. It’s awesome, so enthusiastic and sex-positive. It is pretty silly, though, every time this exchange happens:

Sandra: I enjoy Thing. Dave: Yeah, me too, actually. Sandra: Oh, you do? That’s nice. Dave: WAIT, WHAT? I was just making a joke. Men can enjoy Thing?? Sandra: Many men enjoy Thing. Dave: Huh! I didn’t, uh…huh.

This happens approximately once per episode.

[onehundreddates-blog]

Sex Nerd Sandra #152: Hook-up Culture & History with Dr. Lisa Wade

Sociologist Dr. Lisa Wade reveals the fascinating reality behind hook-up culture, what it is, and surprising ways to do it better. TOPICS: College Students Trapped on Campus, Choice vs Obligation, Expectation, Narrowly-defined Sexual Exploration, Orgies, College Parties, Paula England, Science!,…

I listened to this episode of Sex Nerd Sandra last night and I thought it was both quite entertaining and very informative. There was, however, one thing that I had trouble accepting, and that was their...portrayal?...of androcentrism — the practice of valuing the masculine over the feminine. (This begins around minute 46.)

They make several great points and provide good examples of masculine things being valued over feminine things, but I can't help but think that they're glossing over the fact that masculine things are really everybody things and that most feminine things are also everybody things (I'm excluding menstruation, boobs, and childbirth from the argument).

Here's what I'm getting at, more acutely. One thing they talk a lot about is that when little girls engage in masculine activities, we praise them for it, but when little boys do feminine things, we think of it as suspect. They say this carries through to adolescence and adulthood such that everyone is trying to be masculine, but no one is trying to be feminine. Women, essentially, get to be everything (rewarded for being masculine and accepted for being feminine), but then men are only allowed to be masculine, lest they be deemed outcasts. By and large, I agree with the claims they make, and they're particularly relevant to the topic of hook up culture (which is what the damn episode is about, so I'm really being a bit harsh here). However, I would say that many things we consider masculine are really just things women were not allowed to do at one time or another — they're everybody things that have been dressed up as masculine things for most of human history. This leveling of the playing fields should be celebrated! They make mention of women throughout history only being of note because they behaved like men — such as scientists, pilots, or detectives — but I can't help but think they're the only notable women in history not because they did masculine things but because women weren't allowed to do anything important back then! They were just doing things in an environment where most women weren't allowed to contribute. So yes, those were masculine at the time, but they aren't inherently masculine, nor are they masculine any longer. (They're discussing everything in an American and somewhat European vacuum.)

On the other side of the argument is feminine things, which they provide very few examples of. In the arena of sex, I agree with them — things like attachment, tenderness, eye contact, and love are all still viewed as predominantly feminine — but when we talk about interests and occupations, we can't really use the same classifications since women were straight up not allowed to do most things for so long. Math is no longer masculine!

Also, their lack of feminine examples frustrates me. I don't know what they're referring to, and that just makes me think even more that when they say that everyone is celebrating the masculine, we're mostly just talking about celebrating the freedom to do whatever the hell you want. I particularly think this because in recent decades, men are celebrated for participating in many feminine things. Society loves men who cook, help out with housework, aid in raising children, have a sense of fashion, and demonstrate kind, caring behavior towards romantic partners instead of being assholes all the time. Men are absolutely celebrated for those perhaps more feminine things and they don't seem to address that at all.

I'm really splitting hairs here, and I don't think I've done a great job at stating my case, because I really agree with 95% of what they say in this episode. What I'd love to do is talk this out with some other informed people, but I don't have that available at the moment so you get to read my rambling thoughts here.

[michelekcarlson-blog]

HYPHEN MAGAZINE: Sex Nerd Sandra want to school you in the bedroom.

Photos courtesy of Rachel Porter

“Hello, naughty monkeys,” Sandra Daugherty says into her microphone at the start of her show, the wildly popular sex education podcast Sex Nerd Sandra.

During the hourlong episodes, Daugherty fluidly oscillates between playful purrs, a clinical tone and teasing banter with a wide range of guests, especially comics, who chat about anything even remotely related to human sexuality.

One minute, she breaks down the chemical components of dildos (don’t get her started on phthalate-free dildos!); the next, she ruminates on first kiss jitters. She does so in a way that is accessible, respectful and fun.

Favorite topics include love, STDs, cock rings, first dates, kink, flirting, blow jobs, pleasure and new sex toys. Above all, she supports the sex-positive movement, which promotes and embraces open sexuality.

Daugherty, a petite brunette with an infectious smile, has always had a passion for sex. She remembers being 11 years old and “hearing the word ‘sexologist’ for the first time,” she says. “And I had this epiphany: Why would you want to do anything else? It was crystal clear.”

By the time she was 13, she was devouring books about sex while other kids her age were reading comic books.

“I remember being in the bookstore in the health section and reading all the sex books. I would have a question, and I would look inside different books to find the answer.”

Daugherty diligently and patiently cross-referenced different resources for facts about the body and the biological process of sex; this was not the work of a hormonal teenager. Daugherty’s sex drive didn’t kick in until she was 14, “so it’s not like I knew everything about my own body, but I had a great intellectual understanding of the world.”

From very early on, Daugherty was carving out a different version of the world for herself. For most nerds, an obsession means believing that there is more to know about something than what most people accept. Nerds thrive on the pursuit of this knowledge.

Daugherty credits her sex nerd status to a natural curiosity, but also to her family. As the oldest of three siblings, Sandra picked up information about “where babies come from” by proximity.

Her father was a great teacher “from history to culture, and then when it came to my sex education, I learned about the birds and the bees, matter-of-fact.” By the time Daugherty was in fourth grade, she already grasped the internal workings of the male and female reproductive systems.

But the Catholic school she attended was not open to discussing sex. Daugherty was a “highly philosophical, introverted, thoughtful teenager” who obsessively followed her interests but kept her interest to herself. She may call herself “Sex Nerd Sandra” now, but owning that identity was not an easy path.

Her father was an artist who stayed at home and took care of the kids while her mother, a Filipina nurse, worked. “I felt very marginalized. … I have never felt comfortable in any group, being half-Filipino. My sexual orientation is ambiguous. I’ve never really had a group of any sort to stand with, so if no one is going to speak up for me, then I’ve got to speak up for me.”

There were no popular role models in the sex education industry except perhaps Dr. Ruth, with whom a half-Filipino girl from Los Angeles had a hard time relating. Over time, Daugherty forgot about her interest in sex education in lieu of more traditional fields of study.

Daugherty skipped around different colleges, studying cultural anthropology and theater. She finally landed at California State University, Los Angeles, graduating with a bachelor’s degree in broadcast journalism with the intent to do ethnographic documentary work — which now seems apt, since she uses media to teach the public and does research on human sexuality.

This is a preview of Issue 27: The Sex Issue, available now. Subscribe to Hyphen or pick up a copy at a newsstand near you.

- See more at: Hyphen Magazine