ok fine i’ll do it. eagles rpf lore masterpost:
1. jalen hurts and saquon the most classic love story of all time. saquon joining the eagles led jalen to the thing he wanted most in this world (super bowl ring). that parade might as well have been their wedding. this one is just incredibly profound to me. saquon’s saga of struggle in new york w the giants was infamous and misery inducing, for him to leave and win and ring that very season was a major deal and i think him and jalen just have a perfect understanding that they want the exact same thing and each other was the missing piece they needed to get there. literally brings a tear to my eye
2. jalen hurts and aj brown. two incredibly competitive freaks with opposite vibes. aj externalizes his frustration, jalen perhaps one of the most stoic players to ever do it. multiple instances of them getting heated on the sidelines followed by jalen launching the ball to aj downfield for unreal plays. rivalmance. currently possibly divorced ???simply so many layers to this one absolutely nobody on the planet but them probably really understands it. they’re naruto and sasuke to me fr there’s nothing like it. for my homestucks we already know. it’s the ultimate ♠️ they make each other better !!
3. jalen hurts and devonta smith. college teammates reunited !! both only a year older than me but bring extreme old man on the porch energy. smitty’s got a little more whimsy and outward excitement in him i think he helps jalen relax and lighten up a little. this one’s just cute and uncomplicated :)
4. cooper dejean and reed blankenship. the exciting whites ! in football it’s relatively rare for white guys to be notably good defenders and these guys are both very good and they were kind of considered a package deal for much of last season. i can totally see the appeal here but personally i’m not extremely invested bc of the following two reasons
5. cooper dejean and quinyon mitchell. two absolute dog psychopathic cornerbacks, they were rookies last year together and they came in and just went crazy right out of the gate. they’re simply peas in a pod and i love them. violent lunatics :)
6. cooper dejean and aj brown!!!!!! they seem to have gotten super close this offseason (and fallen in love perhaps ????) and in context of aj/jalen divorce proceedings aj seems to have found comfort in the cheerful young defender who has puppy dog energy off the field but pit bull energy on it. they do a huge bear hug before EVERY. SINGLE. GAME. aj plays offense and coop plays defense so sometimes one of them will run out onto the field just to hug the other guy even tho he’s not playing rn. aj was out with a hamstring injury for a week and was going out on the practice field just to hang out w coop. aj also seems to have stolen him away from reed which tickles me. aj has said he wants to get coop an all pro nod which is very cute of him. for a guy who everyone says is locker room poison he seems very invested in developing the younger players on the team but it’s also obvious coop is his favorite. my understanding is they get matched up in practice a lot so i assume that’s how this relationship developed. coop also likes to spam aj’s name the way the announcer will say it when he scores. A ! J ! BROWWWWWWWWN ! wow this one got away from me. aj brown makes me feel insane
7. aj brown and devonta smith. almost forgot this one which would’ve been a true crime they are the ultimate wide receiver duo. either one of them could probably go to another team and be the unquestioned number one option but they’d rather stick together and just share the number one spot which is not a common move for most team sport athletes. they’re legends and clearly each others rock to an extent when weird shit is happening with media speculation about what philadelphias problem is. when aj and jalen are butting heads it’s devonta keeping the whole thing cool (since saquon has been here he helps w that too but devonta was the og peacekeeper between them particularly he seems to be able to get aj to cool off easier than anybody else (except possibly now coop ?)) for any homestucks out there reading this (only 2 ppl are gonna read this) there’s def some ♦️ between aj and devonta and also ♣️ w the two of them and jalen
8. saquon barkley and quinyon mitchell. this is a new one for me but i’m absolutely all in here. q is reportedly a pretty quiet dude off the field despite being an absolute maniac on it and saquon seems to have taken that personally and decided he needs to rile this kid up at any opportunity. this is another one where i think they started getting matched up in practice a bunch which led to a lot of chirping which led to them getting obsessed w getting under each others skin. huge unresolved sexual tension here. also saquon barkley is built like a tank and can squat like 1000 lbs and quinyon is a lil skinny guy with a narrow waist that saquon could probably throw around all day (that part also applies to smitty and jalen. jalen has quads blessed by the gods and smitty is so petite they call him the slim reaper)
ok thats all for now there’s certainly more but these are currently the most important to me. the yaoi potential on this team is absolutely astronomical i need some of my nhl and nba rpf girlies to migrate over here expeditiously. also if ur gonna postulate to me abt the morality of rpf remember that albert einstein himself said rpf is fine. if u think any of these men are on tumblr- actually i’m cutting myself off on that one. i could see aj brown having a blog. anyway gridiron football is literally an entire sport built around intricate rituals. this is americas greatest fujoshi achievement.
