#sarah settle down

[sonuvawitch]

Saw Conclave again. Loved the audible gasps at the end reveal

[sonuvawitch]

Love how I have to call my insurance and beg for continuity of care so I can continue to see all my cancer doctors just because regence refused to cover the hospital I go to this year

[sonuvawitch]

love how i'm bringing like 5 knitting projects home for the holidays when in reality i will probably finish like one hat

[sonuvawitch]

i love it when a hat pattern says cast on 96 stitches and i cast on 100 for some fuckin reason and don't notice until i've already knit 3 inches of hat

[sonuvawitch]

By now most people who know me irl know I’m going through cancer treatment but for people that I don’t talk to often who are like “hey how’s it going!” I always have the internal debate of if I’m going to tell them that it’s not going great because my dad just died or just lie and be like “fine!!”

I really wish people would just like stop asking me how I am for a solid 6 months like the answer is always going to be “not great bud!”

[sonuvawitch]

cancer talk under the cut

I know our cancers are completely different but seeing Hank Green’s videos about his cancer and how he’s able to articulate some of the confusing and complicated feelings about it all is just nice idk like yeah! I have a weird survivors guilt about getting pcr even though I went through chemo surgery AND radiation. Every one is excited that I’m doing well and technically cancer free and I am too! But I have this specter of death following me around for the rest of my life that my friends don’t understand and can’t fully understand. Every lump or weird feeling could be cancer coming back. I haven’t even hit 30 yet but I am acutely aware that I could die young. There’s no going back to normal from that and there’s a sense of time running out because now you know there’s a clock and there’s so much I feel like I need to do and it’s exhausting

[sonuvawitch]

it's been interesting to see museums like shut down or cover up exhibits based on the new NAGPRA regulations and see their statements of "oh we're going to do more consultation and be more sensitive" like bruh if you had complied with NAGPRA in the 90s you wouldn't have this problem

[sonuvawitch]

for some reason seeing the phrase “attending a live podcast recording of Dungeons and Daddies in August” in my therapist’s notes for me is making me laugh so hard like yes I am seeing dndads for my mental health