who? Sarah “Slapstick” Smith & Cherise Moa
when? June 3, 2026
what? Crisis Level 1
The mission is meant to be a simple one, one even a C-Rank such as her is able to handle: escort Mayor Moa through the unveiling of a new statue in Midtown. There is no intel of any possible threats, no signs of danger… But it’s always good for Valerian to have people in the scene to show the world that they are committed to public safety. That is why Sarah is sent to do the job. She is popular enough that people will recognize her even as part of the Mayor’s security detail, but still unknown enough that she will not overshadow Mayor Moa’s moment to shine.
Not only that, but the Mayor had given Slapstick permission to stream the event through the drone that always followed her around in patrol for her audience. The official reason is to give Sarah the extra boost to her abilities that comes from being watched, but truly, it is also a wonderful way for the Mayor to come into the radar of her viewers. At the end of the day, it’s a collab of sorts, as weird as it sounds to be doing a collab with an elected public official.
All in all, as Sarah is putting on her steward uniform and attaching the comically large hammer that is her weapon of choice to her back, she is told not to expect much trouble by the Valerian handlers. The sentiment is soon echoed by the police officers assigned to the event, and even the Mayor’s aide which she greets with a nod and a friendly smile as soon as she can.
“Slapstick! Good, you are early,” Tabitha Davis greets her, relief evident on her face as she gestures to Sarah to come closer. “We really don’t expect much trouble, but it’s always better to be safe than sorry about this sort of thing.”
Sarah nods.
“Yeah, I get it Ms. Davis,” she says, eyes wandering away to the covered statue and the platform standing next to it. “I am guessing the Mayor will be on the platform? Where should I stand?”
The directions that follow are fairly long, and it all comes down to Sarah standing next to the stage and acting attentive. She is close enough to be in pictures and draw the eye because of the dark crimson of her costume, but far away that she doesn’t necessarily get the full weight of the media’s attention. A pretty good deal for Slapstick, all things considered. After all, she will be in the news cycle even if momentarily, and she knows her fans will get her circulating enough to gain some attention. Not much, but enough to be worth something.
Nodding along the instructions, she soon finds herself taking her place and readying herself for what is likely to be a long job.
No offense to the Mayor, but these sort of PR moments tend to sort of drag on and on.
And in a way it does.
Sarah spends most of the event— through the long speech, the media questions, and the drumroll of it all — standing around, eyes wandering through the crowd trying to find anything out of place. And for most of the event, there isn’t.
It’s her trusted viewers that alert her that there is some movement behind the stage, the drone having captured the motion of three men creeping closer from one of the alleys nearby. Not a huge number, but concerning considering that there wasn’t supposed to be anyone creeping about.
Sarah covers a quick glance back with a subtle yawn and confirms the vague outlines of three shadows on the alleyway’s wall, before she lowers her hand and begins sway on her heels slightly, as if she had begun to get bored and was trying to keep herself awake. The movement hides her lips moving, which is the intention since she is already rushing through an update for the officers in the scene and her handler.
“Three possible hostels coming through the alley at the Mayor’s one o’clock,” she says clearly but quietly, as she begins to shift closer to the stage and the Mayor with each subtle sway. At the same time, she is “charging” her jumps like cartoon characters tend to do, waiting for her next instructions.
“The Mayor is about to finish her remarks and unveil the statue,” Tabitha mentions over the comms. “We just need a few more minutes.”
Humming under her breath, Sarah considers the stage and its distance from the alley. Unfortunately, the space is too open, so as soon as they step outside of the alley’s cover, the interlopers will be seen and the crowd will get nervous.
“Are there any officers near the other side of the alley’s entrance?” She asks under her breath. “I can cover the mouth and push them back towards the other side, but I need a couple of officers there to make sure they don’t slip away.”
It takes a bit more of strategizing, but soon the plans fall into place and Sarah begins moving away from her spot and backwards. Her back still faces the alley, and she has brought her drone back down with her, all in hopes of convincing the bad guys that she is just getting a shot of the Mayor from another angle.
The ruse works, and she is five steps away from the mouth of the alley when she gets the signal that confirms the other side is guarded and ready to apprehend the hostiles.
With the confirmation at hand, Sarah detaches her hammer from her back and swivels around, just in the perfect angle to hit one of the men and send him bouncing backwards into the alley under the effects of cartoon physics. After that, she doesn’t get the other two time to react, taking a rope from her utility bell and lassoing one of them into restraints.
The last man decides that it is all too much trouble and turns around to run, but the mouth of the alley he is heading towards is blocked. With his two companions down for the count, it doesn’t take much to convince him to stand down.
The officers are handcuffing the last of them, when Sarah hears the sound of applause. Taking a couple of steps back, she glances at the event and smiles.
Looks like the Mayor had a successful unveiling, after all.
