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Presents I got back from Lanzarote. Cheers, Mum! #tshirt #sarcasticcommentloading #ralphlauren #perfume

#sarcasticcommentloading #ralphlauren #perfume #tshirt

Dat shirt and hoodie don't lie.. #SarcasticCommentLoading #FuckYou #Dabbbb

#fuckyou #dabbbb #sarcasticcommentloading

I wish real life could be more like a blooper reel.

sarcasticcommentloading

#conversations with my sister #sarcasticcommentloading

Cait: Have you heard of the Paleo Diet?

Me: Where you only eat dinosaurs and extinct ferns?

Cait: Exactly. Think of all the calories you save.

#it's a thing tho #the paleo diet #LOOK IT UP #sarcasticcommentloading #conversations with my sister

Excerpts from our chat tonight:

Cait: I'm trying really hard to think of the perfect thing to say. All that's coming to mind is "I'm really sorry," or "Oh, look, Coulson!"

:::

Me: L-O-L-A LOOOO-LA.

LO-LO-LO-LO-LOOOO-LA.

Cait: I can so hear Stark singing that every time Coulson drives up.

:::

Me: I AM DYING.

‎

Cait: Ohmygod, I'm dying, too.

Me: I enjoy sharing my pain.

Cait: Remember me as I was. Wait, no...remember me a lot cooler.

:::

Cait: Please tell me 'fergalicious' is not actually in the dictionary.

:::

Me: Yeah, ignore her.

Cait: Oh, I will. I will extra ignore her.

:::

Cait: Well...I enjoy the phrase 'gesticulating in frustration'.

Me: I'm gonna use it every day from now until the day I die.

:::

Cait: Fucking nuns, man.

:::

Cait: There is no subtlety. At all. This person wouldn't know subtle if it sat down next to them and was really obvious about it.

#if you don't adore my sister you are wrong #no one does snark like she does snark #sarcasticcommentloading #FOLLOW HER (even tho she can't access tumblr where she is right now)

matchesunderfoot replied to your post: matchesunderfoot replied to your post:...

I certainly don’t. I have a great aunt who makes me buy myself donuts every time I do her grocery shopping and it’s just like well they’re not going to disappear on their own. Also doing everything while dozing is like the only morning option.

Pretty much. I'm a disgustingly chipper person once I'm awake, but that can take a while. I don't usually come out of my room until then.

My sister, though...

Well, she doesn't really do chipper at all

so that doesn't count.

#matchesunderfoot #sarcasticcommentloading

My sister and I are such sweethearts to each other, even over IM.

Me: Looooove yooooouuuu.

Me: Goodniiiiiiiight!

Sis: Tolerate you. Decent night.

#sarcasticcommentloading #sisters #she thinks she soooooo funny #it's because she is

[mess in hallway is impeding movement]

Me: That's inconvenient - clean it up.

My sister: Your face is inconvenient - clean that up.

#We're so mature.#sarcasticcommentloading