as much as i enjoyed the little domestic moment we got in the last chapter, i hope the next book gets into the storm after the calm. the nightmares and the anxiety and the "never being clean again" and the guilt and the worry and the idk. it's great to see that julie has a new lust for life or whatever but she's never going to unsee sarah's eyes widening in horror as she [redacted] and sarah is never going to unsee her [redacting].
cutting back on unhealthy coping mechanisms is great and all in theory but what about the fact that they were helping her cope??? what about the fact that if julie isn't drinking herself blind she can see, if she's not drugging herself numb she can feel?? not to mention sarah, still processing the death and viscera she's seen, "viscera" being an understatement, i want to see her when the dust settles and she takes a look around and this is her life now.
i want to see two people that have been so, so alone since each other, finally be together, and i want to see how messy and fucked up and devastating it is. i want to see arms around each other and needing time alone and sit with me while i shower and wake me up because you can't sleep, you can't even close your eyes.