Approaching Sun (41)
Author’s Note: Somewhat of a cannon-compliance note, but I don’t really consider filler arcs and some movies canon, but for sake of the story’s plot, I’m briefly referencing material from Naruto the Movie: Ninja Clash in the Land of Snow. The Shibuki name drop comes from Naruto episode 198. P.S., if you like this chapter, please go watch my favorite filler of all time “Gotta See, Gotta Know, Kakashi’s True Face.” Buckle up, this chapter hits the ground at a sprint. My official A.S. spotify playlist is linked on my linktree and my most recent post. Sorry for the delayed update. Sickness likes to knock my feet out from under me somewhat consistently. Stay healthy out there!
Songs: Maybe October by Dekker, Everything Matters – AURORA/Pomme, Alcatraz by Oliver Riot, When it’s Cold Outside by 228k, and Alps by Novo Amor
Pairing: SasuSaku
Previous Chapters: 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35, 36, 37, 38, 39, 40
Chapter 41: The Power to Destroy Us
Sasuke’s plan had originally been to head northeast, travel through the land of Sound and Otogakure where Orochimaru’s base was located along the way, recruit some help to track and kill the remaining members of Zenshin, and then head to the Land of Snow. However, upon learning about that, Sakura had rerouted his plans, making a stark preference for the northwest route toward Takigakure, the Village Hidden by Waterfalls, bypassing Orochimaru’s hideout altogether.
Sakura was convinced that she would be fine if they didn’t hunt down the leader of Zenshin and had assured the Uchiha as much to persuade him to skip forward to hunting the Otsusuki instead, but Sasuke had written three letters as they camped just outside the border of Takigakure. First, he wrote to Kakashi to confirm the Hokage’s plans, not because he didn’t believe Sakura’s detailed explanation of their sensei’s interference, but because he wanted to assess the process for himself and compare it to his own. He had to be sure, before stealing Sakura away across the sea to the Land of Snow. His second letter was addressed to Takigakure’s current leader, Shibuki, requesting permission to pass through and seek safe seafaring passage from Takigakure’s northern harbor. It was the same route Team 7 had taken when they were assigned to guard the actress “Yukie,”—an alias for the Land of Snow’s princess, Koyuki, that Team 7 had been unaware of at the time of accepting the mission—which is why Sakura was familiar with the road that would take them through. Which brought him to his third and final letter, addressed to said Princess Koyuki, informing her of their intentions to arrive in her land. Sasuke hated to leave a paper trail of their activities considering Sakura still had people after her, but considering his past and his travels recently, it was always better to inform and request permission from those in charge.
As they waited on Sasuke’s letters to reach their destinations via messenger hawk, they set up camp lounged by a fire, sitting close to the flames that warded off the northern air that sought to chill their skin even in August. Sasuke eyed Sakura’s gooseflesh as she wrapped her arms around herself, determined to suffer in silence rather than admit she had hastily packed an unprepared bag. To his credit, Sasuke had repacked for her after her hasty exit, trying to discern which of her clothing might be the warmest, but found her wardrobe entirely lacking for winter climates. He thought they had more time before heading to the Land of Snow, so had packed her bag accordingly, refolding and organizing the bag in order to fit more in. Sakura had noticed as soon as she opened it for the first time, and immediately made to thank him, but Sasuke felt awkward as usual and chose that precise moment to flee in the name of firewood.
Seeing her shiver and wipe away the prickling flesh along her upper arms made Sasuke feel inattentive, and so the Uchiha pushed back his reserved nature once more and reached for her, taking hold of her by the waist with his right arm. She jumped in initial surprise but smiled complacently when Sasuke pulled her between his legs to settle her back against his chest. The poncho, once again, came down over her head as Sasuke positioned them to sleep in a reclined position together to share their newfound warmth. He quite liked it, the excuse to bundle her into the fabric of his person like she was an extension of his body (she was as far as he was concerned, that valve in his heart he’d decided she was the last time they had found themselves at a fire on the road at the beginning of a journey. He remembered moving away from her that first time, deciding the distance alone would be enough to keep their lives from entangling further. He had never been more wrong. And now they had come full circle, no amount of distance preventing the inevitable.
“We need to stop in Takigakure to get you some suitable outerwear,” he stated, her body shivering one last time as the caress of warmth greeted her.
She burrowed against him, fitting in all of Sasuke’s angles as if she had been designed to be the missing pieces of him all along. She sighed and leaned her head back into the bend of his shoulder, and Sasuke intimately tucked his nose into her hair as they drifted to the crackling melody of the firelight humming heat.
Until Sakura spoke with a small content laugh, saying the very last thing that Sasuke would ever imagine in that moment. “I saw Kakashi’s face.”
Sasuke couldn’t help himself. He practically jolted as if he had been shocked with his own lightning blade. The elusiveness of Kakashi’s face had been one of those Genin curiosities that had never really left the realm of Sasuke’s curiosity, and the Uchiha had privately theorized with Naruto that the ninja had something to hide with that mask. “And?” he immediately investigated, eager to know what she was withholding.
“And what?”
“Don’t ‘and what?’ You know exactly what. Tell me what he’s hiding under there.”
She snickered against his chest, a pleasant shifting motion against Sasuke’s sternum, as if her laughter could reach into his own body via vibration and demonstrate just how one could lose oneself in something funny.
“Not hiding much, other than the fact that he’s a complete and total hottie.”
Sasuke could have choked on the air in his lungs alone. “That’s it? Nothing out of the ordinary? No big secret? Sort of anti-climactic, if you ask me.”
“Oh trust me,” she sighed. “Nothing anti-climactic about it—”
“Stop talking,” Sasuke shushed into her hair, immediately covering her mouth with his right hand to completely cut-off her crude direction of speech. Since when had his shy genin teammate become so unreserved? They’d had sex twice, for peat sakes, and weren’t in the habit of making these types of jokes. It was even worse that she was making a go about Kakashi, their old, decrepit, retiring sensei. Or at least, that’s how Sasuke would forever regard him. “You have spent too much time with that Yamanaka girl,” he chided.
“That’s all from Tsunade, actually.” Sakura admitted with a small laugh at his innocence.
Sasuke grunted, and Sakura picked up the conversation again. “Do you think Kakashi is alone by choice? Because he’s the Hokage? I feel bad for him, always to himself when he isn’t working.”
Sasuke knew the answer immediately. He suddenly recalled several of Kakashi’s lectures whenever Sasuke found himself angry about being alone. “Kakashi was alone a long time before he was the Hokage and even our sensei. He lost many of his loved ones, everyone who was ever close to him. I imagine that he’s afraid to form a bond that intimate being who he is and the role he has to play.”
“Sort of like you, then.” Sakura acknowledged.
“Hn,” Sasuke affirmed, but added, “He’s right to guard his heart so. I tried, but someone’s chakra-enhanced strength punched through my rib cage.”
Sakura laughed before interjecting with, “You know, I always sort of theorized it might be because Kakashi sensei’s preferences leaned more towards men.”
Sasuke’s brows shot straight into his hairline, the first real emotion to present itself upon his carefully constructed face tonight. He thought about it, truly. And as he thought about it, he wondered. Truly wondered. “Hn,” he said again with a tilt to his head, “who knows.” He could honestly see his sensei having no particular preference at all. As he reflected on his genin days, Sasuke would say with confidence that he was definitely the sort to appeal to both. Everyone they encountered always had some weird obsession with him.
“I hope one day, whatever the case may be, he chooses to be selfish, too.”
“I think he’s more excited about retirement than anything else. I think he’s just ready to choose himself for once.” And he’s dog obsessed, Sasuke thought privately. And sometimes, maybe pets were all you needed for companionship. Back when Sasuke imagined a lonely life without anyone else in it, he pictured a pet or two in his future. A hawk. Maybe a cat, even. That sort of life had once appealed to him, but he was choosing one of attachment, instead. He was choosing her, even if it was half-lived and intermittent.
“Definitely,” she chimed, before stilling and growing quiet against him. Was she falling asleep?
But then, she said something else that rennervated Sasuke, and he was thoroughly trapped of his own making, the shared overgarment preventing him from fleeing from the question. “You helped Toka, didn’t you? Back in the Shikkotsu Forest.”
Sasuke didn’t answer. He didn’t breathe. Because how was he going to explain his actions of that night? He had thought it had completely escaped her notice, the hand he had played in Toka’s chances in escaping that night.
“It’s okay if you did,” Sakura rested back against him more firmly, seeking to give him comfort. “I just want to know why.”
Sasuke still couldn’t breathe as he thought of the truth. The truth was rather simple in his head. Sasuke envied the choice the man had been given. Sakura had given Toka an out, a condition. If he made it through the Shikkotsu Forest on his own, he could leave and not return to a life of imprisonment for his crimes. It would certainly mean his death, to risk the snare that was Shikkotsu Forest for the 1% chance only a soon-to-be-father would take in order to possibly have a life with his family on the other side. Sasuke had heard Sakura break the news to Toka about his impending paternity, and had felt it like a stab to his soul, because Sakura was giving the man a choice to risk it all for a chance at a life with his woman and unborn child. Sasuke still remembered that tiny little throb of light that woman had concealed within her, and he had made a choice that night, too. The choice to help Toka, even if he less than deserved it for the part he had played in Zenshin.
“He made the right choice,” Sasuke admitted to the back of her head, recalling how at the first sign of Toka’s departure, Sasuke had performed his own silent summoning, a winding camouflaged python ascending the monstrous trunk to greet him.
“Lord Sasuke,” it had hissed in an inaudible tongue only Sasuke could hear. “You have become like a stranger to us. A mere rumor of existence. We wondered if you were even still alive.”
“Let’s catch up another time, Sutsuma,” Sasuke had greeted cooly in the formal way of snakes. “Follow that man. Assist him out of this jungle. You’re familiar, aren’t you?”
“Katsuyu’s forest? Of coursssse we are,” hissed the python, turning its yellow eyes this way and that. “Not like the Ryuchi Cave, but we have brethren here all the same.”
He had watched the snake make its way toward the retreating man, and Toka had glanced back at Sasuke, when the snake revealed its good intentions by not eating him and waiting for the man to follow.
Sasuke hadn’t known if Toka had made it out, until Sutsuma found him once again in the morning, having slithered the miles back to him. “He livesssss. Barely, but he survivesssss.”
“Appreciated, Sutsuma,” Sasuke had amended, already prepared to reverse the summoning.
“Lord Orochimaru extends his greetingssss,” the snake informed, sending a small chill down Sasuke’s spine at the mention of the Snake Sannin. “And Aoda remains unbound despite Lord Orochimaru’s great displeasure, pledging his fealty to you only Sssasuke Uchihaaa. Do NOT forget such kindnesssss from ssssnakes. We do not do kindnessss freely.”
Sasuke simply nodded before the snake had dissolved into nothingness. Sasuke had felt a pang of guilt toward Aoda, a loyal friend from the past. When the situation had called for it, Sasuke had relied on his other summons after the war, the two hawks he had formed close connections with of recent days. He hadn’t realized that Aoda might have taken the Uchiha’s absence personally.
Sakura shifted against him, asking in finality, “So Toka made it out, then?”
Sasuke only nodded, saying “unfortunately,” but then added to assure her he hadn’t made the choice at the risk of her life, “and if he ever shows his face again, I’ll personally drop him back in the Shikkotsu and watch as the forest claims the life I took from her. He only got to live for the sake of his unborn child.”
Sakura didn’t respond, as if there was so much she wanted to say, but couldn’t. What was she thinking silently to herself at learning this information? Sasuke was suddenly worried, an uncomfortable ice replacing the burn of his annoyance. “What’s wrong? Are you angry that I interfered?”
“No, of course not,” she assured him, the curve of her skull moving back and forth against his sternum, but he heard the emotion in her voice. As if she were fighting back tears.
He suddenly stiffened. “Then why are you crying?”
She swallowed before saying, “I’m not.” The pause alone before answering gave her away.
“You are. Tell me what’s wrong.” He moved so he could see her profile in the dim light. Sakura’s tears now affected him in ways he couldn’t explain. Because he had always been the reason for them, and even though Sasuke had changed, chosen her, she still ended up crying for some reason connected to him. And cursed heavens, he hated it.
“Nothing,” she confessed, “Just, I’m happy you did. I am happy for them.”
And Sasuke’s stomach dropped, because he had been right to fear those tears. So much that was unsaid, was verbalized with those words. Sakura was pleased that Toka had chosen his pregnant lover despite the risk to himself. Happy that they would be together, and delighted for their baby and the family that tiny throbbing light within the woman’s womb would make them.
He had said this before, but he felt the need to try to explain this again.
“Sakura, if things were different—” he tried, but she interrupted him.
“I’m not pressuring you,” she defended. “I meant what I said back in the glowworm cave. You can’t make that choice right now, Sasuke. I’m not going to ask you to.”
“You’re right, Sakura. I can’t. Not until the Otsusuki are handled. I know that they’re out there.” But it wasn’t because he didn’t want to make that choice. In fact, it was such a temptation for him, which is why he downed that contraceptive in her presence. Did she even know that? He hadn’t technically been entirely transparent with her about his feelings about their future, his secret desires, and jealous fits about the choice he wasn’t able to make but others were. They had briefly discussed it after their first uniting in the cave, and he’d kept the rest of his thoughts about the matter private. For some reason, Sasuke felt like telling her all this would disappoint her if, for some reason, it never came to be. Gods forbid it, but if Sasuke’s search continued on for years and years, stuck on his isolatory orbit away from Sakura, what then? The devastation on her face when she had asked him if he never wanted kids had made Sasuke confess that he didn’t not want that when and if the time came. But—“I have to make sure the world is a safe one for the next generation.” Because that was the Uchiha’s promise to himself, and to Naruto, and the rest of the world—not because he wanted to live Itachi’s life of sacrifice or redeem himself—but because it was the right thing to do and it was still going to be his role to play, no matter what.
“I know. And it’s okay,” Sakura turned to him under his loose-fitting poncho, grabbing his fingers between their chests. “We won’t take the risk. Just like I said to Kakashi, it won’t even come to that —”
Sasuke’s eyes grew wide before narrowing at the mention of his sensei about something so private. “What the fuck does Kakashi have to do with any of this?”
There was a silence as she realized her slip, and Sasuke felt an anger rise in him about secret conversations that the Uchiha hadn’t been included in because they were about him. He could already hear the words of others in his mind. Could already hear Kakashi and Shikamaru and whoever else approaching his wife and putting their noses in places they didn’t belong.
“What was said to you?” he seethed, pulling his hand away from her as he ducked free of his own outerwear until only she wore it.
“I didn’t mean—” she tried to recover, but Sasuke’s patience had suddenly collapsed in on itself.
“Tell me what he said to you. Why would he ask you about that?”
The excuses and stalling came to an end at that. “It’s nothing, really, so don’t be upset. He’s just worried about us. Just about what being together might mean for you. What a child might mean.”
Sasuke got very still at that. What a child might mean. What being together might mean for him. Not Sakura. Him. And with the context of the last forty-eight hours, Sasuke knew what those words were implying. Kakashi was worried Sasuke would develop a true weakness. Sasuke was suddenly recalling Sakura’s words of two nights ago: “Are you going to avenge me? Are you going to become an enemy of the world again if someone else is taken from you?” and “Shikamaru said I needed to cut ties with you. That being with you was a risk.” Sasuke let out a scoff and his upper lip curled. It wasn’t only Shikamaru who had talked privately to Sakura, apparently. The puzzle pieces were finally connecting, clearing away the confusion like an assaulting wind. This was about that damn threat Sasuke had made. They had told Sakura that she would be his undoing, and to Kakashi, apparently, his unborn future children would damn him even more so. Had Kakashi honestly asked her not to have children with him? Was this the Hokage’s attempt to control him as a threat? He made eye contact with Sakura as he deliberated this, and knew that his wife saw it in the dim fire light. The churning fury in his eyes. The absolute indignation that was coursing through him like the visual manifestation of the strongest of chakras. And she panicked.
“It’s not what you’re thinking. I had told him there wasn’t anything to worry about, anyway. That this was between us, and no one else.”
And Sasuke took a heavy breath. He was irate. Not with her, of course, but anger blurred the lines to others and Sasuke wouldn’t be able to explain those lines right this second. “I need a minute,” he admitted, already trying to pull away from her, but Sakura clutched at his hand.
“Please don’t leave. Take that minute here, with me. I won’t deny you space if you really need it, but I’m asking you to stay here. I’ll give you silence to think if you want it.” She said it with panic, and Sasuke was suddenly confronted once more with his habit of running away. She was afraid he’d leave and abandon her again despite his promise to always tell her before actually leaving from now on. “Please don’t go.”
And he sighed, letting out that breath, the most volatile of that anger leaving his body with it. Regret flooded in, and while it didn’t replace the anger, it gave him a clearer head. It pained him, deeply, to have such things said to her about him. Even more so because they weren’t far from the truth. They believed him capable of atrocities, and Sasuke knew that he was. But once again, he found himself thinking that he didn’t want to be.
“We don’t have to talk about this,” Sakura said, placing the neck hem of the poncho back around him before turning to lay back into his stiff body, urging him with her own to relax once more. “Because I already know what would happen in a worst-case scenario.”
“And what is that?” he sighed bitterly. He wasn’t ready to let his frustration go completely even if he forced himself to remain sitting and listening.
“You made a vow that the world will not pay. And it won’t. You won’t ever have to seek vengeance because I will do it for you.” Sasuke stilled at her words, eyes widening, and a sharp stab of fear coursed through his blood at her ever being in such a situation. It was like being dunked in cold water, hearing her say those words. “I didn’t tell Kakashi this part, because I didn’t know what he would say. But if someone were to go after my child, I’d take care of them myself however best I saw fit. So, you don’t have to worry, because I will do it for the both of us. No one will be able to get to them in the first place anyway, having the two of us as parents. And Naruto and Kakashi as weird, and likely too-involved, uncles.” It reminded him of Naruto’s statement back in Suna: “Her association with all of us keeps her protected. Who’s going to risk the wrath of us in order to get to her?” But just like then, Sasuke knew better; there would always be those who tested the boundaries, who believed they were superior, who thought the lot of them had exaggerated reputations.
But Sasuke thought about Sakura’s stance for a long moment. It was everyone’s habit to underestimate Sakura and she knew that, which is why Kakashi and Shikamaru did not fear the potential of her fallout. Sasuke’s actions, no matter what, would damn him to the world once more because of his past. It would be seen as his fall back into darkness. Sasuke didn’t know if Sakura would be ostracized or criticized for vengeance, but she was viewed as wholly good. Would allowances be made for her actions? If a child would tip the scales for Sakura, then maybe it would be more than enough for him to lose it, just as Kakashi feared. He already knew he would avenge any member of Team 7, especially Sakura. A child would be no question.
Sasuke was suddenly afraid of that possible future for the both of them, despite how much Sakura wanted children that he had sworn to himself to give her one day. But it had him asking himself why? Why would he ever allow something to transpire for either of them? And perhaps that was Kakashi’s reasoning, to get them to evaluate this. He had wished his old sensei would have left her out of it, had the courage to speak to him directly, even if Sasuke had an impossible-to-reason with sort of personality.
There was a moment of hesitation before Sasuke voiced this concern aloud to Sakura: “If something like a child has the power to destroy us, then why do we do it? Why do we bring our own weakness into the world?”
“The same reason you chose to let me in, to care for me,” she breathed, smiling in confidence. “Remember what Naruto has taught us? Love brings us unbelievable strength.”
“And unbearable pain.” Sasuke sighed, seeing the cost and reward of his choices. His heart was resolved to never go through it again. He was terrified of it. He thought that as long as he hunted down the Otsusuki, the future would remain a good place just as Naruto promised. He knew Sakura could take care of herself, but recent events alone made him evaluate the future with Kakashi’s lens. A child would be vulnerable. Sasuke was already practically throwing his heart to his enemies by loving her. If the world were safe from the Otsusuki, would he still choose to bring children into the world if random threats appeared while he was distracted with his own mission? He couldn’t keep Sakura with him forever. He felt as if he was already stealing time, bringing her along.
Sakura’s declaration interrupted his critical thoughts. “I’ll face all the pain in the world for the opportunity at such love.” She said it with her back to his chest, but Sasuke didn’t need to see her eyes to see the weight of those words and the meaning behind them. At his silence, she continued, “But like I said, we aren’t taking risks right now anyway. It’s not happening. So take a breath. I can practically feel your low oxygen levels. You’re breathing like a statue.”
Sasuke didn’t respond verbally, but he forced himself to inhale and coax himself back into rhythm. At some point, she had fallen into sleep, and Sasuke debated silently to himself the remainder of the night. Was Kakashi right? Would a child be the tipping point for him? Sasuke shook his head clear of all thoughts beside his one goal: he needed to rid the world of the Otsusuki, first and foremost. The rest would come later. He must have followed Sakura into sleep sometime later despite his heavy thinking, because it wasn’t Sakura moving away from him that had woken Sasuke up the next morning, but rather the small silhouette of his messenger hawk ruffling its feathers against a backdrop of tree-dividing, morning light.
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Sakura shuffled in her warm parka, grateful for the scenic stop in Takigakure to purchase something to cover and replace her summer attire. She still wore the red Uchiha tunic Sasuke had had designed for her back in the Leaf, but she now paired it with long legging-style black breeches and a crimson knee-length overcoat that sported a thick lining of white fur along the hood. It had been one of the more expensive options, but she was grateful for the splurge now as the ship that her and Sasuke had boarded that morning lurched violently against winterized waters and winds as it headed toward the Land of Snow.
The movement below deck in their room had made her very motion sick, so Sakura had sought refuge at the edge of the ship’s deck, hoping the night sky would help ease her nausea. Unfortunately, the intense, horizonless darkness did nothing to alleviate her, and she had ended up seeking the railing to hurl over. Sasuke had followed her every step of the way, standing vigil with a concerned expression etched on his usual blank face. She could barely see him in this wind-whipping dark, but his presence was consistent and concentrated solely on her.
“Sorry,” she moaned, embarrassed to have him watching her motion sickness so closely. “I didn’t know that I could get seasick like this.” She certainly hadn’t the last time she’d made this journey, but she still cursed herself for not being more prepared medicinally for such occasions. She had encountered many sicknesses as a doctor and her immune system of steal usually was impervious to common illnesses. But her immunity was no match for seasickness apparently; she almost wished she had a cold. It was something she could treat nutritionally. The idea of trying to eat anything right now made her hurl a second time over the railing, her fingers digging into to the salt sprayed wood that was beginning to crystalize. It was very bitter up here, but the thought of going back down below made her stomach clench tightly.
“Don’t apologize for being sick,” Sasuke chided her, hand reaching up to clutch her arm, as if she weren’t currently channeling chakra to her feet and might careen over the side at any second. “We just have to get through the night; we’ll be there by morning.” He turned her away from the railing and she slid down the side, her head falling forward against his shoulder with a groan. He offered her water and Sakura was suddenly remembering months ago when she had gotten drunk and Sasuke had been there to take care of her then, too, a dark shadow in an alley forcing water into her mouth. “Try to drink something so you don’t get dehydrated. And hold on to me. I’ll steady you.”
Sakura didn’t know if his efforts could make that much of a difference, but she was feeling a small warmth in her chest for his offer and so in the dark starry night, where nothing but black careening sea surrounded them, she clung to him desperately, wrapping her arms weakly around his torso.
“I can use the Susanoo. We could fly and bypass the journey by boat completely,” he informed, chakra flowing to his feet to steady the both of them as a particularly violent waved crashed against the side and sprayed them with ice.
Sakura’s teeth chattered violently. “Save your chakra. You’re going to need it for the dimension jump.”
A couple of the ship’s sailors passed by at that moment, noticing her bent form clutching at her stomach, and they stopped to check on her. They eagerly made suggestions for various seasick remedies. One of them, a younger, less seasoned sailor returned a few moments later to offer her some peppermint leaves he admitted he still sometimes used himself or kept close for regular passengers, saying, “Ninja aren’t usually affected by the sea, so I’m surprised you’re this queasy,” to which Sasuke immediately scowled.
“Have anything more helpful to add?” came his derisive voice, colder than the lashing wind.
Sakura gave the Uchiha her best chiding stare in the dark—she was much too weak to elbow him or anything else of the like—before demonstrating an exhausted peace offering of a smile to the sailor. “First time for everything,” she sighed helplessly.
“You know,” he added, “you have a room in the guest corridors just below deck, but I’m sure the Captain wouldn’t mind you seeking refuge in the hold. It might not seem logical to you, but the lowest decks are the best place to be if you’re seasick. The swaying lessens the farther you go below.”
“Thank you,” she tried smiling again, breathing raggedly as she accepted the peppermint leaves, smelling their sharp twang to confirm the herb, before shoving them in her mouth as the kind seafarer wished her luck, gave her one last pitying smile, and walked away.
And when Sakura was certain she had nothing left to vomit, she took the man’s advice and allowed Sasuke to help her to the lowest level of the ship, the cargo hold. And the sailor had been right, the rocky back and forth evened out as she sought the inner-most spot of the ship amid boxes and hanging nets of supplies meant for the citizens of the Land of Snow. She tightened her hood around her, noting that while it may be a smoother ride, it was certainly colder down here. But Sakura could handle that, she couldn’t handle nausea. The floor was ice against her cheek as she curled straight into the fetal position around her stomach. Sasuke immediately came to sit beside her, tucking his thigh under cheek for head support. She clenched her eyes shut as she clung to his pant leg, too sick to even tell him she appreciated his uncharacteristic doting. When his hand came down on her hair, smoothing it back like she was a small child, she whispered one final thank you as the comfort of that gesture soothed her into sleep.
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Sasuke was beyond concerned about Sakura’s condition. It had started with motion sickness, and he had been up to ask the captain twice of their journey’s time and progress. “Fourteen hours, lad. Can’t rush a storm into settling. Better settle; wishing brings terrible luck.” And then again, at pre-dawn, “Storm set us back, but we will be there before noon. If you’ll stop insisting we be there sooner, Lady Sea might do us a favor simply for being content.”
But Sasuke was not content. Sakura hadn’t eaten anything in hours, and Sasuke was regretting this part of their plans. Even as time passed onboard, she wasn’t getting better. Maybe he should have pushed away the peppermint leaves that sailor had given her. He almost had, Mako’s poison attempts still very fresh in his mind. But Sakura seemed to be desperate for anything, so he had let her shove it down her throat, already mentally prepared for another allergic reaction. Instead, it helped her fall asleep which was at least some improvement. When the sun calmed the waves the following morning, Sasuke had expected Sakura’s sickness to improve, but it didn’t. Instead, her vomiting returned with the sunrise.
“That’s it,” he let out an exasperated breath, standing rigidly over her doubled over form in helplessness. “I’ll use the Rinnegan and take some time to recover if needed. I’m not so weak that I need to let you suffer to conserve every last drop of chakra.”
“Wait,” she moaned. “Just wait. It can’t be more than a few more hours.”
“I don’t care,” he hissed, bending down to sling her arm over his shoulder. She didn’t complain as he marched them up several flights of stairs, practically mowing down anyone who happened to be in his way from reaching the sunlight bathed deck. Her silence was the biggest indication that she wasn’t well.
He’d activate the Rinnegan as soon as he had the space to allow his full-bodied Susanoo to transform. But just as their heads broke free of the levels below, the white, ice-camouflaged shoreline of the Land of Snow greeted them. Sasuke didn’t hesitate for a second, jumping down from the starboard side of the ship despite the shock and protests of the most useless sailors Sasuke had ever had the displeasure of knowing (well, most of them, anyway).
With Sakura’s weight fully supported, he landed on the water gently, his chakra an anchor the uneven surfaces, floating chunks of ice solidifying the closer they got to the coastline. The ship was faster than his careful gait, docking well-before Sasuke could be considered ashore, but Sakura seemed to improve somewhat just from finding her balance in Sasuke’s steadying hold. “Almost there,” he told her, shuffling her against his side as she made to move her arm from his shoulder.
“I already feel like I can catch my breath again. Like the ground isn’t going to flip me upside down.”
Even though the Uchiha was relieved to hear such words, Sasuke didn’t let up or relax his support until both her boot-clad feet landed firmly on snow. She pulled her arm free, kneeling into the snow. His arm reached down for her elbow, but she shrugged him off, rolling over onto her back. He immediately panicked before he realized she had begun waving her arms and swinging her legs until she created a celebratory snow angel. “Aww, dry land!”
If he wasn’t so concerned, Sasuke’s didn’t know if his eye would have twitched, or he would have smirked. “Snow doesn’t exactly constitute as dry,” he corrected sarcastically. Her persistent snow angel-ing loosened a bit of the worry in his stomach, but he still implored, “will you please get up before you catch your death and become the very thing you're making?”
“I’m a doctor, remember—”
“And look what good that has done you in the last twenty-four hours.”
“I’m ‘grounding.’ It’s healing me from the seasickness.”
The Uchiha sighed and cast his eyes dramatically to the side, before honing them on the trio of sailors crunching their way through snow toward them from the docked ship. Instinctively, Sasuke took a step around Sakura to block her shenanigans from them and he knew the sort of picture he presented: black figure with a rolling sea of ice behind him. It was a perfect metaphorical picture for how he felt and could make others feel in a matter of seconds. “Is the lass okay?” they hollered, and Sasuke bit his tongue before returning their question rudely. “From the looks of it, she’s keeled over and died!”
“I’m fine!” Sakura called from the ground, attempting to roll over and find her own feet before Sasuke turned back toward her to assist her further. She shooed his only good working hand away as if she didn’t need the help, the stubborn convalescent. What was she trying to prove?
“Do you know if there is a doctor nearby?” Sasuke intercepted the sailor’s soon-to-be attempts at an inquiry about Sakura’s health. “It’s been a long time since we’ve been to the Land of Snow. We are unfamiliar.”
“Not needed,” Sakura interrupted, faking a bounce to her step that had Sasuke scowling at the obvious lie. “Will you direct us to the Princess Koyuki?”
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Despite Sakura’s insistence that her health had returned, Sasuke forced the both of them to stay overnight in the rainbow-inspired village homes of the new “Land of Spring,” the name for the colorful homes unaffected by the intense winter climate of the rest of country due to the Land of Snow’s ‘treasure’ winter-defying generator. Even though Koyuki had furnished them with a minka in the mountains where they could refuge in-between Sasuke’s interdimensional jumps, the Uchiha was firm in his resolve to stay overnight in town where they could at least remain “close” to a doctor should Sakura’s severe symptoms return.
“As long as I don’t step foot on a ship in the near future, I think I will be fine,” she had stated embarrassedly in front of the Princess Koyuki, whom hadn’t changed in the slightest. Maybe a little nicer, but she was more than accommodating, greeting them as old familiar friends, but inquiring the most about Naruto. She was surprised to learn a lot of the details about the post-war modernizations of Leaf Village and events leading up to the war. Sakura learned rather quickly that every time Koyuki would ask a question, she was really circling the conversation back around to Naruto and his involvement. Except for the one time when she smirked, glancing between them knowingly and said to Sasuke, “When you sent your letter, saying that you and your ‘wife’ would be passing through, somehow I knew it was the final member of your infamous Team 7 trio. I wonder what exactly that means, when you picture someone in your mind, and your thought becomes reality. I would call it coincidence, but I imagine Naruto would go on and on about Fate and the Will of Fire.”
Sakura had thought she had been blushing before from Sasuke’s mothering, but it was nothing compared to the scarlet that spread across her face at hearing how he’d addressed her in that letter. Wife. He was using that word freely, now. And it did all kinds of things to her.
Sasuke was completely unaffected by Koyuki’s words, ejecting that emotionless acknowledgement of ‘hn’ before moving them along.
As they said their final partings with Koyuki and the villagers the following morning to head toward the snowcapped mountains beyond the generator, Sakura made a mental note to remind Naruto to pay a visit to Koyuki and the Land of Snow soon—whenever fatherhood would allow him, that is.
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay in town?” Sasuke had asked her lowly in the hours of the previous night, taking up the small space between them. “What if your sickness returns?”
She had pinched his cheek to his immense annoyance, eliciting a hiss like a snake whose body had just been violated by reaching hands. “I’ll acquaint myself with the medical staff in your absence, just as I did in Suna. I’ll make weekly visits and pick up some supplies before we head out in the morning. Will that assuage your needless concern?”
“Fine,” he had grumbled, before reaching up and pinching her own cheek in return.
And during the long trek into the winter wilderness, Sakura soon realized that she had underestimated the length of the journey and wasn’t so confident about those weekly trips back and forth. Sasuke stopped several times to wait for her to catch up, each time starting to probe about her wellbeing before she finally shot him the annoyed glare for once. He arched an eyebrow, but didn’t ask again. Just when Sakura thought her feet would fall off as blocks of ice to join the snow around them, she found herself at the base of the mountain, the steepled, snow blanketed minka a beacon of relief sending smokey signals in greeting. She shivered in anticipatory warmth just looking at it. Koyuki must have sent someone in advance to prepare it for their arrival.
She had been correct in this assumption, because they weren’t alone when Sasuke pushed aside the screen doors. One of Koyuki’s men greeted them warmly, showing the two how to utilize the space during the harsh elements, along with unnecessary demonstrations of the open wood hearth and quilt bordered kotatsu in the center of the floor. Sakura had immediate plans for diving under it to warm her feet but was diverted by the elderly man as he pointed to the rising steam coming from the private onsen just on the eastern side of the house. “This is Princess Koyuki’s private mountain home,” the elder announced in pride, “the water is heated from magma deep beneath the surface. In other words, some of those mountains are volcanic. The mountains are home to the snow monkey population. You may see some stragglers, but they won’t bother you if you don’t bother them.”
“Please share our thanks to the princess for her hospitality,” was the last parting word Sakura had for the man as he outfitted himself for the return journey back to the Land of Spring, assuring her that he would return with supplies for the duration of their stay.
Sakura couldn’t help herself. As soon as the man departed, she snaked her arms around her husband who was already tending to the hearth. “This is amazing! This is beautiful! And to think you’d be experiencing this all alone without me if I hadn’t come with you.”
He answered immediately. “If you hadn’t come along, I imagine I would have received the same neutral greeting that I do everywhere else. I’d probably be taking refuge somewhere up along the mountain side, closer to the source of the hot springs, surviving as the monkeys do.”
“Having a wife has it’s perks, then,” she grinned, stripping her bulky outer layers to dive under the quilt of the kotatsu just as planned, the floors warmed naturally by the streams funneling below.
Sasuke bent over the stone-laid irori, placing more wood on top and checking the steaming kettle hung by bamboo from the ceiling. He spoke up from the other room. “The Kazekage was much more accommodating knowing that you would be in company, remember? And that was before you were my wife. It’s just you in general.”
Hearing him nonchalantly verbalize the word ‘wife’ for the third time made Sakura’s stomach swoop and toes curl in that dramatic teenage way that often plagued her as a Genin. She hadn’t been able to appreciate it when he’d dropped it during their argument before, but Sakura just realized that he wasn’t just writing it, he was saying it and doing so consistently! She hid a giddy smile to herself, her inner-Sakura absolutely rioting inside with glee. When he glanced her way at her suspicious silence, she rubbed the back of her neck with an embarrassed grin and tried to return herself to the present moment.
“I’m going to check the area,” he said seriously, breaking into Sakura’s daydreaming with reality. “Will you be okay alone for a bit?”
“Of course. I’ll start cook—” she began, but he shook his head.
“Just rest,” he interrupted, before ducking through the door and closing it to encase her fully in the warmth of her new surroundings.
She promptly curled around herself beneath the kotatsu and let the sound of snowfall lull her to sleep.
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Kakashi’s response letter had come that morning, and Sasuke found it difficult to not let his thoughts return to it over and over throughout their journey.
Sasuke,
You are investigating my plans regarding the remaining Zenshin members who remain, despite telling me yourself that it would be you taking care of this, instead of an old man like myself. I am assuming this means that Sakura has convinced you to leave matters to me. No news as of yet, other than that the search is headed West toward the Hidden Rain and Hidden Grass villages, in the hopes of flushing the leader and any remaining members out. The hounds are on it. Burn this after reading. If I don’t receive a response, I’ll consider the information compromised.
They should be in the clear then, Sasuke assumed, if the pursuit for Zenshin members was heading South-West. Sasuke had responded quickly and decisively with no further information about their location or Sakura’s condition. It would be unwise to risk frequent communication in the instance that it might alert Zenshin to their whereabouts. This is the last message you’ll be receiving from me. If it’s crucial for me to know, alert me. Otherwise, I’ll trust you to handle it.
Even though he had been a little reassured at Kakashi’s efforts, Sasuke still took it upon himself to create a few shadow clones to check the immediate area. The suspended snow around and above him created a silence so deep and thorough, that all Sasuke could hear was the cracking of the white shrouded limbs of the forest trees encompassing the base of the mountain. It was so isolated, so off the beaten path, that Sasuke hoped the Land of Snow’s Princess kept the privacy of her mountain house a closely guarded secret from the rest of the population. But Sasuke wasn’t going to drop his guard completely, considering the staff she probably kept to maintain it. Sakura was going to have to be mindful if she was planning on making visits and supply runs back into town.
When his shadow clone jutsu released and he learned that there wasn’t a single living person within twenty-five kilometers in either direction, Sasuke returned to the house. Sakura had fallen asleep at some point in his absence, the fire crackling and tea-steamed air knocking her clean out. Sasuke watched her carefully for a few minutes, ensuring that she seemed well. Maybe it really was the sea that had made her so sick, and she would be better now that they were comfortable. He was anxious to make the first inter-dimensional jump but decided to wait until tomorrow morning. He was going to spend the day resting and ensuring that Sakura slept through the night without issue.
And that’s precisely what the Uchiha did, stretching out on the opposite end of the kotatsu and promptly knocking out. When they woke in the evening, they shared their first hearty meal in a long time—Sakura picked at it, really, something Sasuke didn’t miss—and despite his refusal, she dragged him out in the darkness toward the private onsen. The cold air was brutal against their skin, and Sakura slipped into the hot water in record time. He didn’t even get a second to appreciate her nakedness, while she openly watched him undress with a blush. When he raised an eyebrow at her obvious gawking, Sakura tried to make the excuse, “The heat is already getting to my head.” He smirked and snorted at her lie, if ejecting air out his nose could be called that, before wading into the steaming decalescent water.
They were wrapped in darkness, but the winter landscape outlined everything in white. The ground was patchy in some areas where the geothermal water flowed underground in a path directed toward them and beyond. Sakura sighed and rubbed her feet, claiming her toes had frostbite, and Sasuke assesssed them carefully to humor her, pulling at each small digit and admiring their dissimilarities from his own. Again, he was taken aback about how odd it was, being in love. It wasn’t the first time that Sasuke was noticing something about another individual that he never would have even bothered paying attention to in the past, but here he was admiring and evaluating the shapes of her feet. “You’re going to lose credibility as a physician if you claim those toes are even capable of developing frostbite,” he teased, releasing her perfectly pink and healthy foot back into the water. “The length of those nails should lift you five inches off the ground. They practically curl under.”
Her face reddened before she returned what Sasuke had given. “If you haven’t noticed, I’ve been travelling nonstop with you for months now. I don’t chew them off like you do apparently.”
“Mhm,” he responded, ignoring the jab altogether. He had been exaggerating good-naturedly just to get a rise out of her, and it had worked.
“Let’s see yours then,” she probed, snatching his foot from the water like she had just caught a fish in a Leaf Village summer pool. Before Sasuke even had a moment to defensively react to her words, his head submerged completely as his foot lead his body into reverse. He had quite literally never been yanked up by his foot before. He turned underwater and reached for her immediately, but she had already jolted from the bath, making a naked run toward the house. Sasuke didn’t run. He didn’t have to. He stalked after her with that slow sulking certainty of knowing your prey has nowhere to go, and Sakura knew it too, because her panicked laughter ricocheted throughout the mikan as she slammed the screen doors shut behind her and fled farther in.
Sasuke teleported—yes, it was a blatant waste of chakra, but the shock on her face and squeal of defeat when she collided into his dripping wet chest in the main room of the house, made it a worthy waste. He had her on her back next to the iori before she could even attempt to use that inhuman strength to free herself. Pinning her hands above her head, Sasuke smirked into her face with a victorious “hn.”
“I’m pretty sure running through the snow barefooted is how you actually get frostbite,” he chided, dipping his nose to her throat and trailing it tantalizingly down her collar bone. She stopped fighting at once but her facetiously laughter continued. “You’re going to pay for that stunt,” he rumbled in finality before ravishing her mouth, his hand slipping from her wrists to meet the back of her neck.
It wasn’t the sort of resting Sasuke had planned on doing, but their heavy breathing and mutual attention and indulgence of each other’s bodies once more brought the both of them an immense amount of respite and contentment. To Sasuke, it was still resting, in a way, because he knew that these moments were few and would one day be very far-between. Every second, every minute, every hour he got to be with Sakura in this way was collected eagerly as rest for his soul. And, god, it was a blessed sort of deliverance to break apart into a million pieces. Witnessing Sakura in peak performance and taking with full ferocity did things for his mental state, too. Sasuke’s anxiety about her health significantly improved as she varied their positions and he watched her rock above him in that desperate attempt to break into a million pieces, too. He was thankful the snow around them deafened everything.
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“I’m going to travel to the ice dimension in the morning,” he had told her in the night, when their bodies stilled and their hearts leveled back out. “I’ll have to hike to the top of the mountain to get to the coldest point. In theory, that should make it easier.”
Sakura had immediately examined his plan, problem solving in her mind. “Won’t the height be an issue? Back at the inn in Tanigakure, we fell the distance of the top floor once we were through the portal.”
“It would be,” he admitted before clarifying, “but if I can skip the central dimension successfully again, the Ice Realm is full of mountains, remember? I’ll probably be stepping right out onto another one.”
Sakura nodded and pursed her lips as she considered.
“I’ll do everything I can to return before nightfall the same day, but if I can’t make it back immediately, don’t panic. You’ll be okay here alone until I get back?”
“Of course,’ she responded immediately, but he still eyed her carefully in that all-knowing way of his. “And if I get bored, I’ll head back to town and get supplies or find some work.”
“It goes without saying, but be cautious. Kakashi may be hunting the Zenshin, but their reach has been large so far and their numbers surprising. Who knows what connections they may have in all sorts of places.”
She bristled; she couldn’t help it. Sakura didn’t know why his concern was irritating her at the moment, but she just looked away and nodded. Sakura decided that it wasn’t just him—in the back of her mind, his concern overall was adorable, and she knew he wasn’t insinuating that she lacked mindfulness. Except for having too much faith in Mako, but Sakura wasn’t in the honest sort of mood to feel like counting that one. But it was more than his concern. It was this gnat-like dispute with Zenshin that just wouldn’t go away. She hadn’t said it aloud, but this was practically a honeymoon to her and here they were still having conversations about this group whom Sakura was practically sick of hearing about. She was done. Done with Zenshin. She didn’t care if they weren’t done with her, she was done with them. Sakura just wanted to hole up with her new husband, the man of her dreams, in this winter traditional home against a snow-capped mountain and do more of what they had already started.
In the dim firelight of the irori, Sasuke scowled at her lack of a response. He could sense her irritation and sighed. “I know you can take care of yourself, I wasn’t saying—”
“I know,” she cut him off with sharpness, that annoyance bleeding through despite her resolve to contain it. He stared at her for a second before looking away as if he didn’t know what to say or do about her sudden attitude. This type of behavior had only ever been directed at Naruto. “I’m sorry,” she sighed. What was wrong with her? She was hormonal, she deduced, due to start any day. That godawful week before her actual period must have snuck up on her in the form of sudden mood swings. “But I’ll be fine. So you don’t have to worry. You can stop worrying.”
“Do you stop worrying about me when I am gone, even though I can take care of myself?” he asked calmly when she tucked her chest against his side. She felt him pull the strands of her hair in his fingers, touching it lightly so that she wouldn’t feel him doing so. She immediately felt his words like a guilt-inducing punch.
She sighed. “Of course I do.”
“I can relate more so now, is all. Especially since you’ve been sick.”
“I’m not sick,” she sighed again, tossing a leg over his own suggestively. “Obviously.”
He didn’t fall for the distraction. “You’ve barely eaten anything this evening.”
“I said I’m fine,” she sighed, rolling back over onto her back. “Honest.”
But much to Sakura’s surprise, she was not fine. Sasuke had rolled over well before sunrise to tell her he was leaving, just as he had always promised he would from now on. No empty beds upon her waking. No surprise escapes or lack of goodbyes like the past. She sat up groggily, and her breath froze in the air before her face, but Sasuke pushed against her shoulder to encourage her to return under the quilted covers. “I’ve stoked the fire. I’ll try to be back before sunset. Leave a note if you leave.”
She nodded sleepily and grasped his hand in parting. “Be careful. I love you.”
“Hn,” he murmured in response. And in typical Sasuke Uchiha fashion, he chose a voiceless reply, reaching down to tap his fingertips against her forehead. She rubbed at her forehead fondly long after he walked out into the frigid pre-dawn of the Land of Snow.
And when the sunrise woke her a second time, Sakura shuffled on her knees to the irori and poked the coals to aerate the steady flames before adding more wood to an already dying fire. But the ground flipping nausea from the sea voyage returned with a vengeance and hit her hard in her stomach. She doubled over, hardly avoiding the hearth before she vomited the meager contents of her stomach. She clutched her head with a moan.
Drearily, and confused by the returning sickness, Sakura crawled on hands and knees back to the blankets, dry heaving along the way. She dove back into them, chasing the sleep that might rid her of the vertigo and nausea. If this persisted for long, she would definitely not be making that three-hour snowy trek back to the village. It was in her plans to consistently make chakra pills for Sasuke so his stash wouldn’t diminish, but a supply-run would have to wait for now. She couldn’t walk to visit a doctor even if she wanted to. And she was too prideful to not treat any of her ailments herself.
Thankfully, Sakura had thought to purchase some nausea aid back in town when Sasuke insisted she see a doctor. It was one of the ways she appeased him, gathering the herbs for the medication herself. But she didn’t have the energy to brew her ginger and peppermint concoction until well into the afternoon when she was finally able to move around without vertigo. If she were her own physician right now, Sakura would be telling her to write down her symptoms along with times in order to track and identify this random illness, but she was struggling for brain power. She was just tired. Sotired. She deduced it was probably a bad reaction to her new batch of contraceptives, since she took another one last night before falling asleep. She would study the ingredients again later. After downing the brewed nausea tea, she promptly fell back asleep with ragged breathing.
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Sasuke found the ape population almost as soon as he took his first step up the mountain, the ice sloped surfaces and tree coverage a flurry of activity the higher up the mountain he travelled. They must have been well-acquainted with human occupants occasionally traversing this way because they ignored him, just as the mikan manager claimed. And Sasuke disregarded them in return, grateful for the indifferent species of monkey who acted as if they were almost bored by his presence. Their eyes barely roved over him before choosing to move along to whatever they had found to eat beneath the snow.
Despite the hot springs woven into the mountain, the weather was brutal, especially in the hours before sunrise, and only increased in ruthlessness as he hiked. Sasuke tried not to think about the easiest way to reach the top of this mountain was in the same suggestion he had made earlier: the full body Susanoo could simply fly him to the top. But he refused, because he needed the chakra reserves. He had to get back to her tonight, and even with the help of the chakra pills, he couldn’t waste a single drop of his own reserves if he hoped to return. He hadn’t pushed himself to teleport so far twice in the same day yet. In Suna, the chakra pill had simply allowed him to bypass the center dimension, and Sasuke was going to try to make the initial jump and return all in the same day, if it worked. The greeting fuchsia sunrise at Sasuke’s back, bleeding the white foot-print dotted landscape a rosy hue that reminded him of his wife—who he’d had to leave behind again—would be what Sasuke would use as a tether back to this realm when it fell again in sunset. He strengthened his resolve as the time was already slipping away and turned back to face the top of the mountain.
The sheets of snow turned into ice as he ascended, and with every cracking step and swirling vapor of heated breath frosting his eyelashes, Sasuke couldn’t help but confide his thoughts to the mountain. His own life had been seasons of winter, an ice spanning the years of his youth, and no matter the amount of sunshine the season of the present now granted him, the seasons of his past were like the unmelting snow that lingered in the shadows of warmer weather, reminding all who looked at Sasuke of his history of frigid darknesses. Just as recollecting citizens often reminisced to one another during the first drop in temperatures, “do you remember the storm of ten years ago? The snow was waist-high…” So too, were the rumors of Sasuke Uchiha and his crimes. The ice of his past would never melt. Maybe Kakashi was right about one thing. How would he ever be able to truly embrace this summer without causing worry? All anyone ever saw when they looked at him was the reminder that Sasuke Uchiha was of the winter, a dark, icy monster. They were right to fear his growing attachments. Revenge, in any form, would be a returning winter that everyone expected.
But then, there was Sakura. A literal walking sun that warmed the steps he left behind before catching up to him with her radiance. She blinded others of Sasuke’s transgressions just by standing by his side, persistently bleeding into that snow of his past like that sunrise. And the question that everyone wanted to know was who would win, the ice or the sun? Because if he had a child born to and taken from him, it was no longer a matter of if Sasuke would fall, but when in their minds. And they were counting on Sakura to keep him in check, not knowing that she would bring her burning, incinerating power down, herself. And Sasuke was no longer creating that ice. Alongside his wife, Sasuke was a black burning sun with his own Amaterasu flame, an Uchiha with a fixating love. Maybe they would burn the world together, and that’s why the others were begging them not to take the chance. And Sasuke couldn’t decide if they were hypocrites not holding themselves to the same standard, or if they were right.
But, just as if Naruto were matching his trek, walking beside him in this unbearable cold, he could hear his voice. “I won’t let you. Either of you.” It was a promise that burned in the distance. Maybe they were wrong; maybe they were only burning stars of variation and Naruto was the sun who kept them all in gravitational pull.
Reaching the top was an exhilarating feat and the sunrise peaked through the winter haze, sharpening into the round outline of the sun. He inhaled, and exhaled deeply, closing his eyes to memorialize this feeling as all his troubled thoughts left him. Sunrises and sunsets, he’d seen so many. But this one sanctified him, reminded him of the man he wanted to be, but he didn’t yet know just how memorable and marking this one would come to be to him. He would find that out later.
For now, he turned his back, activating the Rinnegan and fracturing time and space, refraining from relying on Sakura’s chakra pill just yet. Push, he demanded of himself, when the portal wavered as he sharpened his focus on the realm beyond the core dimension. He could do it. He could do it. The portal flared to life at the expense of his chakra, the icy mountains corporealizing before his eyes. He didn’t even hesitate long enough to take in a victorious moment before jumping through the portal. Preparing for a long fall, just as Sakura had pointed, the Uchiha braced himself as he plummeted. But just as he theorized, something precipitous rose up to greet him. But it was not a mountain as he first thought. It was a spire, tall and ethereal beneath his crouched form. And Sasuke’s eyes widened in shock. He couldn’t believe it. He was standing on top of an icy fortress. It was a castle.
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Sakura woke mid-day to sounds coming from outside. She rose on her knees steadily, relieved that her sickness had gone, and her appetite returned. Her stomach growled angrily at its recent neglect, but she ignored it as she cautiously sidled up to one of the screen doors leading outside. Her ninja senses were suddenly on high alert as the soft crunching of snow met her ears and her hand inched down to her calf where a kunai was strategically hidden. She held her breath and took the risk to crack the door open to peer outside. What she saw was not what she had expected. The steaming onsen had attracted a few more guests from the mountain residents. A handful of monkeys, pale felted and red-faced, bobbed in the water with closed eyes. They groomed each other lazily, occasionally jumping out and back in. Sakura opened it wider to admire them with a smile. They noticed her, but paid no further attention, one monkey even going as far as to jump on the roof of the mikan to sit and dry.
Turning back to the iori, Sakura brewed her ginger tea and cooked a small meal for herself while she watched the monkeys soak up the heat of the onsen. For the first time in a long time, Sakura found herself at a complete rest. There was no demand for her help, no rush to her schedule, no one else to look after. It was just her now, in the middle of nowhere—Sasuke was in another dimension and was actually farther away than anyone else—and while she felt guilty about her continued absence in Konoha, Sakura took a greedy breath of winter solitude. She told herself not to feel the restlessness of the pressure to be productive and to just enjoy the winter landscape and the snow monkeys. Because it might be one of the few moments in her life of truly ever being alone and there was something special about facing the world by yourself and feeling yourself alive in a vastness that continued and continued regardless of your presence and your busy life. How otherworldly nature felt, when you stopped to witness it. She could see why Sasuke felt more at peace alone in nature than in a crowded village most of the time.
And besides, she had been ill of late and deserved this little respite. Sakura highly theorized that her unrelenting pace of recent months had caught up to her in the form of illness. Being a medic, she knew the challenges faced by an unrested body. It caught up to you eventually, but she had the habit of ignoring her own medical advice. Maybe if she modeled resting, Sasuke would catch on and rest too. She was proud of him for doing just that yesterday, choosing to stay with her and not jump at the first chance he got, which would have been the more Sasuke-like thing to do. It was the little things like that, that reminded Sakura of how much he actually had come to desire her presence. She tried to not think about the fact that the both of them might be trying to grab onto as many memories that they could before the inevitably of their lengthy separation prevented them from making more. She sighed dejectedly.
Sipping the ginger tea did her lots of good, and with the absence of her nausea, Sakura forgot just how sick she had been just hours ago, moving on with her day in the most mundane way possible. She read. And read. Underlining medical texts she’d picked up back in town, until her knee began to bounce from inactivity. After a while, Sakura explored the house more fully, admiring the various trinkets and belongings she encountered which probably once belonged to the princess. She cleaned and organized the space before going over to her supplies she’d brought with her to sort. Among her things, were ingredients for her burn solvent that she planned to pass along to the medical staff here just as she had in Sunagakure for the benefit of Gaara’s people. And now, she also brought along more of the anti-depressant plant H. Perforatum to capsulize for the Land of Snow as well. She would have to check in with Tsunade about the plant’s clinical trial progress back in Konoha before sharing it with anyone here, but it was on her list to do.
When she ran out of things to do, Sakura admitted to herself that she wasn’t the best at resting. She longed for Sasuke, and it hadn’t even been more than half a day since he’d left. She realized suddenly that she just might have to make a trip to town as early as tomorrow just to fill the time in his absence. As the sun nodded toward the horizon, Sakura watched the snow monkeys answer the call of home and retreat back up the mountain where they had come down from, while also yearning to see the mountain return her husband to her in the same way.
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.
.
Sasuke had explored Kaguya’s ice castle for the entire day, but just like the red-sand mountain back in the core dimension, it was abandoned and full of deceptive architecture. It was designed to trick him in the same way as the last building he had found—Sakura had pointed this out back when she had teleported with him after they had been ambushed in Tanigakure. However, unlike it had been with the tower, Sasuke couldn’t find the entrance of the ice castle despite circling the building twice and combing all the terraces and the domed top for a way inside to the central building. Every crevice or hole he discovered was a dead end, which staggered him. According to the theory Sakura had developed in the core dimension, the tower was constructed to lure and distract instead of prevent entry, but it didn’t seem to entirely hold true in this case. Sasuke supposed he might be able to use the Amenotejikara of the Rinnegan to swap places with something inside, but that would require chakra he wasn’t quite willing to sacrifice because he still needed to return to Sakura tonight. His Rinnegan and Sharingan revealed no one inside the castle structure as far as he could tell, but wasn’t sure others from the Otsusuki race might be detectable with his visual prowess. Kaguya was his only example, but if any of the Otsuski were still alive and operating as Kaguya had, then they would come eventually. Which is why Sasuke desperately needed to find away through the walls at whatever cost. Even if he had to blow the roof in, he would. But he couldn’t at the moment, not with the hours waning and his chakra vanishing rapidly. They would be spending longer than he had expected in the Land of Snow if this was the rate of his progress after discovering something so critical.
With a plan to return, Sasuke turned South in the direction the base of the mountain would be if he weren’t in another dimension. He’d walk the distance here instead of down the mountain at this time of night. For some reason, it was cold, but tolerable to an extent here as the light of this dimension was in full effect. As Sasuke made the long trek back toward his wife, he wondered if it might be a good idea to ask her to return with him once he had recovered from the aftereffects of repetitive teleportation. He didn’t like the idea of bringing her with him, the threat of the Otsuski was always a risk he wasn’t ready to take with anyone else, but she was the smartest of all of them, impressing even Kakashi at times. Sasuke knew she would figure out the puzzle of deception in no time at all if she came. He thought about the pros and cons of her tagging along with him as the travel time passed.
When he came close to the spot Sasuke believed would be the mikan’s approximate location, he dove into his weapon’s pouch and produced one of Sakura’s chakra pills. He exhaled, swallowing it down, and inhaling as the rush of chakra flooded his system. It was going to work. He just knew it. He willed it because she was on the other side of it.
The portal spun and widened, and his head cracked from the pain of it and Sasuke clutched it, squinting through the pain. He stepped through the black and purple vortex before it could minimize and leave him trapped here in the cold overnight. Sasuke had miscalculated a bit about the precise location of the mikan’s entrance, practically stepping out onto the iori and stumbling to avoid stomping out the flames completely. When he raised his eyes to search the house, he saw her in the same place he’d left her, under the blankets of their shared pallet on the floor. She was staring wide eyed at his sudden appearance, and Sasuke could tell that she was obviously not expecting him to teleport almost directly on top of her.
“You’re here!” she beamed, standing from her place of warmth to run to embrace her. He reached out his hand for her instinctively to close the distance.
But when she got closer, Sasuke froze, his receptive hand falling limply to his side and eyes widening in petrified shock. Sakura faltered at the expression on his face, meeting his shaken stare with an apprehensive one of her own. “What’s wrong?” she questioned in a panicked rush, but Sasuke couldn’t hear her. His heart fell all the way to his feet because he was looking at his beautiful wife with the Rinnegan still activated, and centralized in the middle of her lower abdomen was a tiny, pulsing, throbbing sun.
