#satan 666

[clyde-wy]

My manga collection. There is more and there used to be more, but it is what it is.

[nefarious-616-necromancer]

[rational-cha0s]

I've decided to share a bit of my past, simply to get used to breaking into posting onto this new blog.

This post is rather heavy. But my life has been heavy up until now. You'll understand. This post was brought about by @anastasi-a-us-satani asking me, but I didn't know if I wanted to go into that. I realize that my past will be a testament to Satan and the start of a personal Black Mass period of myself.

I was abused. It extended to physical, and emotional, and unfortunately, even SA. My latest event happened a year ago. After being assaulted, something in me broke, and I had a year-long PTSD reaction to it.

As I became more aware in the rational world, I realized that I had been more hurt than initially done. A new area of abuse was called into question: a youth group I was in.

They brainwashed me. They used my anxiety as fuel to send me into episodes of denying myself. Over and over, and over and over... They broke me. They harassed me to believe and drove me to a baptism while psychotic. (Which, after spending a week in their camp, was the only logical result of torture.)

I remember, a few years back, I was into the idea of getting into satanism, but all I heard about was The Church of Satan. I didn't know that you could invoke Satan in rituals or prayer or any of that yet.

But after my 2nd breakdown in life, I found myself thinking about what I crave in religion. I didn't need someone to tear me down and make me feel guilty. I needed strength and reassurance. Satanism gives me that. (Ironically, a Catholic man who gives me counseling about mental health was the force bringing me to that. "I'm Catholic, but there's different ways to connect to divinity. We all have different needs. I believe that.")

Some paths had things I liked, and some things that I didn't like. But Satanism is a new path that's called out to me.

And I take this journey seriously.

[generatedhandle]

[electricboogaloosstuff]

I sometimes think about the twin brother of the author of Naruto who is also a mangaka and draw in the exact same style. Like what does it feels like to be him.