Hugs
It's not like she doesn't like hugs. No. It's not like she isn't fan of, or tries to run away every time someone does it.
Actually, at first, she really did try to run away from touches, and from kisses, and hugs, and everything else that involves someone in her space. It was her rule.
And then they happened.
Satoru touches her all the time. He likes to hug, to kiss, to put himself on her space, he forgets so easily that she has space, she is not him, for god sake, so of course she needs space. But he just doesn't care. He wants to stay close, he wants more. He wants everything of her.
Suguru is calmer, gentle touch, soft kiss, and putting her in his space almost so soft that she doesn't even realize what he is doing. He doesn't like space too, even if she hears he saying that he doesn't like to touch, he is almost always touching her.
And both of them is always touching each other. Always hugs, always fighting, and Shoko is sure that they can't handle their want to touch so they do the first thing they can think of. Fight.
She almost never initiates touch.
And should've never let them initiate too.
Right now, looking at the fight in front of her, with Satoru dead, and every kind in the room look at her, she feels starving. Starving of touch. Their touch.
The reality hits her so strongly that she doesn't know what to do, what she can do. She doesn't remember when was the last time she had kissed, hugged, loved Satoru. She doesn't remember the last time she had kissed, cried, and loved Suguru.
She doesn't remember and that hurts.
No one reaches her, no one touch her, no one hugs her, and that okay but at the same time she is so tired. She wants their hugs, she wants their kisses, she wants them and she can't have them.
They were so selfish, kissing her, touching her, loving her, and them leaving her like she was nothing.
She was alone. Without the touches she never asked. Without the kisses she never needed.
And deep down she knew that she was without her life too.
