Dazai: Slug, you are the rudest and tiniest creature known to mankind. With a height complexity that even Chicken Little can only dream about and a body that police have to take your id whenever you buy your old wine, nobody could find you attractive or else they'd be label as a pedophile because of how short you are! Coupled that with your awful dressing style! Hats indoors? Really chibi? Do you loooveee your hats so much that you even had to bring it indoors and when it's windy? Such a waste of your ability but then again this is the same chibi who'll float up to the ceiling to sulk because ane-san forgot to bring that vintage wine set from Europe which I, my merciful self, have already given but instead of being thankful you went all "Shitty Dazai! How the hell did you find me in Arizona?!" which, rude, I pretty much had to dodge the men that Mori had sent to recapture me and you've ruined me chibi! How could I have evaded seventy muscleheads and barely broken a sweat?! I don't want to become a musclehead like you! Anyway, seeing as how I am your only master, I better be your only master chibikko, to your doggy self, it is only right that I allow you the honor of asking me on a date for your birthday. After the date we will then jump of the bridge in a glorious double suicide to our beautiful demise!
