Final Rant About She-Hulk
[Disclaimer: This is very reactionary, written while watching]
- *opens and closes her mouth* *gesticulates* *lost all ability to speak* ............................................................ I have no words. Wait no.
- Ok so... Jennifer got a little bit angry, destroyed a TV and a wall. She scared people, but ultimately she didn't attack anyone and surrendered the moment the law enforcers arrived... AND SHE IS PUT IN THE SAME FUCKING PRISON AS THE FUCKING EMIL BLONSKY WHO WENT ON A FUCKING RAMPAGE THROUGH HARLEM AND PROBABLY KILLED A LOT OF INNOCENT PEOPLE PLUS SOME POLICE OFFICERS AND MILITARY MEN!? WHAT IS THIS? Like seriously, what is this, because she seems to be unproportionately punished for a minor and justified anger episode. Yeah, she is a Hulk, but she surrendered, which Hulk and Abomination WOULD NOT DO. Abomination would just fight, while Hulk would run away, because he is that type of person. WHY SHE ENDED IN PRISON? WHERE IS HER SCENE WITH SOME LAWYER SWOOPING IN AND KEEPING HER FROM GETTING INTO PRISON IN THE FIRST PLACE? WHY IS THE LAWYER APPEARING ONLY AFTER SHE WAS ARRESTED? WHY?! WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK!?
- I agree with Mallory that what people saw was a monster when Jennifer got angry, but do people really have such a goldfish kind of memory? Don't they see that Jennifer surrendered immediately and didn't even injure anybody? Speaking of which, Jennifer is also right. Anybody in her situation would react the same, AND I disagree with Mallory here. Jennifer is a Hulk, yes, but looking at how she behaved, she was not out of control. If she was out of control completely she would have fought the people who came to apprehend her, she would not fucking surrender herself willingly to them. If she was the monster people see her as, she would go on a rampage through half of the city. But well, I guess she is a woman, so nobody would treat her as if she was a man. If she was a man, her anger would be seen as part of who she is, instead of something that makes her into a crazy monster. Hell, people loved the Hulk for that exact reason. That he went on out of control on rampages. Geez! Give me a fucking break.
- Did Jen got similar terms to Emil Fucking Blonsky? I am so mad.
- Also, really? Are we going to ignore the band of incels targeting super women now? (Yep, they went and ignored ALL OF THEM).
- AND SHE LOST HER FUCKING JOB! SHE LOST HER PRIVACY, DIGNITY, HUMANITY AND JOB. HOW MANY THINGS WILL BE TAKEN FROM HER? ... SHE LOST HER APARTMENT TOO!?
- Interesting thing though is that she lost her right to turn into She-Hulk, which you could count as losing powers, even if she didn't lose them at all, so technically Jen got what she wanted, but also she didn't get what she wanted. She didn't get normal life again when She-Hulk is finally gone. She got broken pieces of the life that she may never recover enough to live normally. She wanted to be a successful lawyer, and what happened is that she no longer is that. She cannot even go outside without reporters asking about what happened. I bet there will also be people that will treat her like a monster now, even when she cannot turn into She-Hulk anymore. HELL, she is even more vulnerable as a woman now, because she is in the position when any attack at her person can end fatally in more ways than one. She could be fridged literally here. Which is SCARY.
- The only nice thing so far: Jennifer loves Legally Blonde. Me too, Jen. Me too. Also did you know that Elle is coded as autistic? What an icon. I love her. Jennifer and I share love for Elle.
- Me right about now: *inserts Tony Stark to hack all of those incels and destroy them, because they dared to attack one of his favourite Hulks* They would be so destroyed that they would not want to see the light of day anymore. (Yes, I know it would be not feminist to make a man deal with Jen's problem, but let the girl dream that Tony would be so furious we would be ready to fuck all of those incels lives to Kingdom Come). His reputation would NEVER recover.
- *takes her chair and throws it at Dennis Bukowski* SHUT YOUR TRAP! YOU DATED SHIT! How can this guy even say such things. Like ugh, what is his problem!? Ah, wait. DELUSION. If I take him and drown him in the nearby lake, that will still be not enough to erase the taint from the world from anything he ever said or do. That man is literally the worst. Fuck him. Or more like NOT fuck him, because he doesn't deserve it and his genome may be too much for humanity. We will seriously all go into extinction if guys like him continue to procreate. I am starting to fantasize about castrating this guy.
- No! We don't want you to get screwed over, Jen! But thank you for finally saying out loud that we were saying for weeks. WHY this story is treating you like this? WHYYY!? You don’t deserve this!
- I can accept that it is a mental health break. You definitely deserve one after this bullshit! I feel like we all need it.
- How did we know she will use Pug as her incel stand in for the secret incel party? xD Elven old lady foreshadowed that lol.
- OMG that gross rich guy, seriously?!
- WAIT, DID JUST THOSE INCEL DUDEBROS SAID THAT THEY WOULD SMASH PUG? Should I be angry, or should I laugh that some of those incels are closeted bigoted homosexual men?
- Lol, it makes sense. Rich guy who lives for collecting superhero stuff. He has enough money to create several shell companies that run the website. OMG, seriously, if Tony was alive, this guy would be so dead. It would be a billionaire against billionaire fight. But Tony is not here, and we all want Jen to destroy this guy, because only then will Jen get justice. Nobody should do it for her, she should do it for herself, so it would have meaning! Smash them, Jen! Smash!
- WAIT, WAIT, WAIT, WAIT! "He is in the lodge, some private event"... THAT ROOM LOOKS FAMILIAR, WHAT THE FUCK!? EMIL, WHAT THE FUCK!? YOU WERE BETTER! I BELIEVED IN YOU. HOW FUCKING DARE YOU!? But welp, what did I expect from this guy, seriously? ... Ok, never mind. Apparently he didn't check for who he was fucking speaking, and now he is protecting Jen? Like, seriously, Emil. CHECK YOUR FUCKING CONTRACTORS, DUDE! I mean, they are a secret organization, but they said their fucking name JUST THERE. Ok, well... yeah, Emil has no access to internet. I forgot. My bad. He had no ability to do the research. But he did have ability to get money and get hired, like, what the fuck Emil? Seriously, what the fuck. So do you have internet access, or you are just I dunno neutral in everything?! EXPALIN YOURSELF TO ME, EMIL!
- Lol, she just left her TV show and went into another xD Just to roast the team working on her show's storyline. ROAST THEM, JEN! ROAST THEM HARD! SERIOUSLY, YOU CANNOT IMAGINE HOW MUCH I WANT TO HAVE AN ABILITY TO JUST DROP INTO MCU CREATION ROOMS TO JUST POINT ALL THE STUPID IN THEIR STORIES EVER! I have so much to tell them.
- Also, Jennifer is completely right. Last time we saw Bruce, he was in space. It would be AWFULLY convenient if he dropped on Earth into the Emil's cabin, no less to fight. It is impossible. Same for Titania. It almost looked like Bruce and Titania had Jen bugged to hell and back, so they could stalk her location even in places that have no internet, lol. So yeah, Jen is completely justified to call it all bullshit and go speak to the manager. Kick his ass, Jen.
- "There are certain things that are supposed to happen in a superhero story". Yes, there are, but you do not have to be so BORING ABOUT IT. SCHEMES EXIST TO PLAY WITH THEM, TO EXPAND ON THEM, NOT TO CONTINUOUSLY REPEAT THE SAME THING WITHOUT DOING ANYTHING INTERESTING! Schemes are not inherently limited in the ideas you can use! Just try to pick good ideas, instead of rehashed old superhero ideas. Treat it like ART! Who cares about what Kevin wants? Kevin barely understands the universe he helped to create! That man and Russos are a menace.
- Yes, let's talk to Kevin. Feige. We are coming at you.
- Did she just break that guy's arm?
- KEVIN... K.E.V.I.N XDDDDD Should have seen that coming.
- "You are very expensive". Jen... Jen... why do you care? Fuck it.
- Ok... so... she changed the ending... so they would not show it in the end? What was the point, then? I want a rewind and I want to see the whole thing unfold again. And also where did Matt drop out off? In the middle of the lawn? SPACESHIP? Like, seriously, Jen. Where is the fixing here? I am like, so not seeing any fixing. I see skipping and indulging. I need logical for the story explanation. Not THIS.
- Didn't Jen violate her plea deal when she changed into She-Hulk? She came back from breaking the fourth wall as She-Hulk, so... I suspect someone should arrest her too? Like, hello? What happened?
- Scaar... what. where. when. what. what the fuck? SO HULK WAS 2 YEARS IN SPACE AND HE FUCKED? WHO?! WHOSE KID IS THAT!? WHAT YEAR IS IT ANYWAY!? *counts from Age of Ultron that was in 2015 to Endgame that was in 2023* SHOULDN'T HE BE LIKE 8!? Or more?! HOW MUCH TIME HAD PASSED SINCE ENDGAME?! WHAT IS HAPPENING!? This literally makes no fucking sense. (Will they try to bullshit that time works different on Sakaar so it makes sense?)
- Ah, so she was cleared upon arresting Intelligentia. Still doesn't explain lack of arrest for her taking off her ancle device.
- Tell me that I am not alone in thinking that the ending was stupid. I liked some elements of it, but the execution of it? Horrible. Ugh, where is the fixing Jen promised? I don't see it. Josh was not held accountable for the "rape by fraud" that he did (I am not American, but I learned since last week that the state of California considers consent given to someone who engaged in sex under false pretenses to be rape). The only one punished was the HulkKing. What happened to all those other incels? Because they deserve some ass whoppin’ in court of law as well. We got the whole plot of the blood sample erased completely, so now this is a big hanging plothole. Matt is cute in the ending scene, but seriously, he appeared out of nowhere with no explanation. How is this better than Bruce dropping from the sky in the middle of the battle? It is literally the same. And Scaar? WHEN exactly Bruce had Scaar?! Or he is like adopted? Some Sakarran kid got blasted with gamma and Bruce went all Tony on him, because kid needs family? I dunno. Nobody explained. I hate those introductions that tease and make no sense at all. And Emil still didn't hold himself accountable, because he skedaddled to Kamar-Taj to avoid the law at first opportunity. Where is accountability here?
- What is this mess? I literally have no more fucks to give. MCU is a mess. *hugs Ms Marvel, the only very good show MCU ever birthed*
- Y’know what? I cannot shake the feeling that if the show ended last week on a cliffhanger it would be infinitely better. It would use cliffhanger as licencia poetica and exploit the fact that stories that didn’t close all its points are valid too, and then it would have whole season 2 to actually crack on Intelligentia, to show Jennifer’s case in court, make Matt come back to help Jen and showing Jen nagivating the world in which she is now seen as a monster etc. Infinitely better.
