Comfortember Day 17 - Insomnia
Fandom: 9-1-1 Lone Star
Pairing: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
Characters: Carlos Reyes/TK Strand
I can't sleep, the mosters come back
Althought two days have passed from the kidnapping, TK is still sufering from trauma
For the third night in a row, Carlos woke up alone in bed. TK's side was perfect, as if he had never laid down.
The first night, Carlos had blamed it on the continuous change he had been going through that week. The second TK told him he had a bad headache that kept him awake. He found him watching TV in the morning, with pronounced dark circles under his eyes already. It was now the third night TK hadn't slept and he was running out of excuses.
Carlos got up sleepily and went straight to the living room.
TK was on the couch, with the computer and as he got closer he noticed that TK was on the internet, they had a few pages open, but all related to the same thing.
TK was saying that he was doing well, he was calm knowing that everything had gone well, that Carlos was fine and that the criminals were on their way to jail. TK had told him not to worry and he had believed him.
That had been a big mistake, believing that TK was prepared not to suffer when Carlos had returned home after a two-day kidnapping and the shootout he had been involved in.
Nothing had happened to him, he was fine; he had taken a couple of knocks, nothing serious had been said to TK and on receiving his smile and affectionate kisses, Carlos had been sure that the worst was over.
But TK was not a policeman and as a firefighter or paramedic he had not been trained to overcome such a trauma. He hadn't been taught to stay calm when his boyfriend was almost killed, when he was used as an exchange in a kidnapping when he listened to a recording in which he had heard that they were going to kill Carlos if they didn't do what they wanted.
TK wasn't ready to get over that on his own.
So, as bad as the situation made him feel now, it was no surprise to Carlos to find TK looking at all the information about the arrest of that gang, what was in store for them, the years they were likely to spend in prison, their past, everything he could find.
"You've been doing this for three nights haven't you baby?"
TK was startled to feel Carlos' hand on his shoulder and hear him speak, but he relaxed immediately.
"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you." Carlos whispered and rested his chin on TK's shoulder. "But you have me worried, you haven't slept in days." "Yeah, I'm sorry. I try, I assure you I try every night, when I lay in bed with you, I think I'm going to be able to sleep." TK closed the computer and the living room was in complete darkness. "I watch you fall asleep and it feels good, I feel like I'm protecting you." "You always protect me tiger." "But then I realize it's not true, that when I had to I didn't and those people..." The voice became a sob. "You wanted to take the day off and I told you it wasn't necessary. You could have stayed home and nothing would have happened."
Carlos hugged him from behind tightly, tightly enough so that TK would never forget that he was there, that he was with him and that everything was okay.
"When I close my eyes trying to sleep from that moment..." He gripped Carlos' arms tightly and kissed his hands. "I can't stop thinking what would have happened if we hadn't been so lucky." "But it didn't happen. I'm fine, I'm here at home with you and those people are behind bars." "I know, I assure you I know." "You need your sleep, one more day of sleeplessness and you could fall ill."
TK yawned and rubbed his eyes.
He let himself be dragged or maybe pulled to his feet, he wasn't sure. But Carlos' hand around his waist made him walk to the bedroom. He almost had him on his feet, he was exhausted, surrendered, defeated, but the very idea of closing his eyes and sleeping, already made him nervous beforehand.
"If you don't relax your back you'll end up hurting yourself." Carlos whispered again in his ear. "I'm with you and you're with me, right now you're protecting me."
TK laughed ruefully.
"What am I supposed to be protecting you from?" "From the ghosts that scare me." TK stared at him in surprise at his words. "Being a cop and having heard stories like that makes it a little easier, accepting what happened; but I was scared to death thinking I'd never see you again." "Are you scared?" "Very much, I'm afraid every day I go to work and I think that if something happens to me I won't see you again." As he spoke, Carlos walked to the bedroom with TK. "But when I have a bad idea I call you or write you, I know you are ok, I know you love me and you are waiting for me and all the fears disappear by themselves."
He sat on the bed, TK next to him and took off his sweatshirt without saying anything, kissed him and slid his mouth down TK's chest and neck. She pushed him onto the bed and continued kissing him as she made him lay his legs down and then covered him with the blanket.
He lay on his side, half on his side, leaning on one arm with one hand and with the other began to caress his cheek, shoulders, arms and chest.
"Close your eyes my child and follow my voice." "But..." groaned TK. "Do you trust me?" "Always." "Come then." Carlos lay down and motioned for TK to lean against him.
He tucked him into his arms, tucked their bodies together with the blanket and continued to stroke his hair as he talked about the two of them or just talked because it was what TK needed to be quiet, to hear his voice and nothing else to keep the troubles away.
Or maybe TK was simply too tired after three days without sleep and falling asleep in his arms was a matter of a minute.
Carlos looked at him for a moment. He kissed the top of his head and closed his eyes. Hopefully the worst of that experience was finally behind him for good.