#schlocktober

[schlocktober]

Someone just submitted the 500th piece of schlock to our collection!

Good job everyone for keeping the spirit of this event alive.

I'll see you soon with some new prompts for October.

[fuckingfinwions]

Schlocktober Day 5: Enemas to lovers

Maedhros closed his eyes against the morning sunrise and pretended to be asleep. Perhaps he ought to be excited, as the healers had said yesterday that his body was finally healed enough for solid food. Goodness knew Fingon was excited on his behalf, and had peppered Maedhros with questions about what he wanted for his first real meal last night until it was all Maedhros could do not to throw the mug of broth at his face.

It wouldn't have succeeded anyway, Maedhros was too weak. All he would have done is upset his friend and savior, and mess up the bedspread.

Eventually though, one of the healers came in.

"Prince Maedhros, it's time to wake up."

"What is it?"

"You just need a bit more medicine before you can have breakfast."

"Fine. Hand me the cup with your latest concoction."

"Let's get you over by the bath first, in case of any spills."

Maedhros grumbled, "I haven't spilled my drink in days, or choked on m own spit." But he sat up, and leaned on the healer for the short walk across the room to a wooden tub. It was empty now, but perhaps he could get a bath afterwards. His back was sore again, from laying in one pose all day.

"Now, roll over to your belly please."

"I won't be able to drink well like that."

"Unfortunately this one isn't to be drunk, your highness."

Maedhros looked at the large bottle on the table, and the narrow glass funnel nest to it. He had assumed it was merely left over from preparing the medicine. "What exactly is it for then?"

"Before your body is well enough to eat solid foods, we must assess your health, that it won't be too taxing. You've said it was years since you last had adequate food."

"Yes, I've heard this before. That's why you only let me drink plain water for the first day."

"Your guts are unaccustomed to having anything in them. Before you ask your body to actually deal with food, we need to clean out your body."

"No. Just give me solid food, and if I vomit so be it."

"Your highness, please be reasonable."

"I'm not laying on my belly while you pour something in my ass, exposed to the whole room."

[shent-shent]

Valentine's Candy Heart Threats (part 1)

Oh believe him, he would.

[purplemilk27]

Valentine's Schlock!

Misprinted Sex Coupons was too good a prompt not to use for a kobold who can't read.

[purplemilk27]

Valentine's Schlock

This might be the least schlocky I've ever gotten for schlock.

Heavy subject matter, so please take care of yourself. Mind the tags.

Champagne for One

[schlocktober]

I'm not making this a big event or anything, but I am putting these prompts out there in case you need inspiration to write something trashy for Valentine's Day.

As always, all fandoms are welcome. Art is also welcome.

See original Schlocktober post for context.

The rules remain the same:

No irl bigotry, threats, etc. Your characters can be problematic as all get out, but if you try to post a weird pro-JK Rowling essay or a manifesto about overthrowing the government (as much as I'd love that right about now), you're not going in the collection. Basically, don't kill the vibes.

No AI use. If you need an LLM to write your schlock for you, consider a long walk off a short pier. If you need it to do your editing for you, use a beta reader instead. If you melt a piece of Valentine's chocolate and smear it onto a napkin, that's better than AI art.

Tag appropriately. 'Creator Chose Not to Use Archive Warnings' means anything goes. 'No Archive Warnings Apply' means your work is guaranteed not to contain any of the major archive warnings (non-con, major character death, graphic violence, or underage sex). Schlock readers deserve to be informed.

If you do write something, please add it to the Schlocktober AO3 Collection. It's our nice little archive of depravity.

If you post on tumblr or bluesky, feel free to tag me and I'll repost.

[razielim]

2025 Murderbot Schlock (Asexual Sex Horrors)

Undercarriage. Prompt: Quadruple Fisting.

Filesharing. Prompt: Taking Notes During Sex and Grading It

Coolant. Prompt: Fuck or Live

Vacuum. Prompt: Pegging with a Square Peg

Dataport Excision. Prompt: Not Squirting, Not Pee, but a Secret Third Thing bonus: Tunnels. Prompt: Nipple Sounding

The Collector. Prompt: Defiling a Puritan.

Hitchhiker. Prompt: Too Many Legs

Well, I didn't finish up the rest of the series this year like I hoped I would, but the leftover prompts are still bangers, and tomorrow begins another great year to keep being a pervert!

Cheers to writing more schlock, all life long 🥂

[schlocktober]

...and to all a good Schlock!

Jingle Bell Schlock is officially over, but I'll leave the collection open for any stragglers because schlock is a state of mind.

Big thanks to everyone who participated, and to @nyxueaurelia and @pretty-sick-actually for helping with ao3 moderation. <3

If I somehow missed your schlock because I'm old and don't know how to use tumblr (or because I happen to have your fandom's tag blocked), feel free to ping me and I'll happily reblog, even if you wrote something for [Redacted]. Schlock transcends hate.

Stats for Nerds:

In a busy 14 days, creators submitted 66 fics and 6 pieces of art. That's a grand total of 72 works representing 22 different fandoms.

This time, the Top 5 most represented were:

Baldur's Gate

Marvel Cinematic Universe

Ride Kamens

The Hundred Line - Last Defense Academy

Bleach

Only 66% of stories were rated Explicit or Mature, so it turns out there's a lot of wholesome schlock out there. Depraved or soft, we love to see it all.

Schlock ship types were:

55% M/M

16% Genfic

11% Multi

10% F/M

5% Other

3% F/F

(pour one out for yuri schlock enjoyers 😔)

The top ships were:

Astarion/Gale (Baldur's Gate)

Peter Parker/Wade Wilson (MCU)

Kirk/Spock (Star Trek)

Peter Parker/Tony Stark (MCU)

Omokage Yugamu/Sumino Takumi (THL-LDA)

If you don't see your favorites, you know what to do:

Write more schlock.