Journal Entry #10: A story of a SOH kid.
As a Philo major, I'm usually faced with the question that I'm getting really tired of hearing. "Why Philosophy?" I always seem to have trouble answering it, so I just smile and say, "Why not?", much to the annoyance of the people asking me. But then I thought to myself, why did I choose Philosophy? And how exactly did I get here, of all those other courses that I could have chosen?
I had the common dilemna of indecisiveness when it came to filling up my college application form back in senior year. I thought of going into medicine, since I found myself to be quite good at the sciences, but then ultimately decided that it wasn't for me. Most of my relatives already took up science courses when they were in college, and I didn't feel like I would be fulfilled as a doctor. Besides, med school was too costly and took way too long. So I was thinking of a course where I would be happy. I had thoughts of going to law school, since it didn't take as long as medicine, and I researched for a good pre-law course. I saw that Philosophy topped the charts 10 times out of 10. And so off to Philosophy I went.
After a few weeks in college though, I had a realization. Law was a noble pursuit, but I wouldn't be able to change the corrupted system, which was beyond saving at this point. Law wasn't for me. I know it's quite pessimistic, but I stand by my decision. Luckily, Mom was pretty supportive of my decision, mainly because she got convinced by the Philosophy Open House before school started.
That Open House was actually what pulled me nearer to the path of Philosophy. At that point, I had doubts about law school, but kind of wanted to study philosophy. The professors from the Philo department convinced me that philosophy wasn't just for law or the clergy, and that there were many opportunities for success for Philo majors outside those professions. I was hooked. I knew in the back of mind that this was for me even before, and that Open House confirmed it for me.
Sometimes though, I still had doubts about whether philosophy was perfect for me. Whenever I saw friends with BS courses like Management Engineering, I knew that their paths were defined, that they would know what job they'd have upon graduating. I wasn't like that, with my AB course. Me and some of my blockmates even even had a joke regarding this: "Philosophy, by far, is probably the most interesting path to poverty." This was from the stereotype that Philosophy was an ancient discipline and in these technology-driven times, wasn't necessary. I even considered shifting to BS Physics, since I learned to love Physics even more because of how much I enjoyed PS1 as my NatSci core subject.
Whenever these doubts bothered me, I go to the Philosophy department, where us Philo majors have a room, nicknamed the Cave, that we can use as special hangout. Once, I was alone in the Cave, and I pondered on what was worth learning about Philosophy. Then I suddenly remembered something a Philo prof once said at the Open House; "Philosophy majors can become anything." And I knew that he was right. Being an AB Philosophy major, I was versatile. I wasn't boxing myself into a path unlike if I took a BS course. I would be journeying, going to unexpected places, trying all sorts of new things, and in the process discover new passions while keeping old ones, instead of walking in a straight BS path.
Something I get a lot from other people, usually the ones I meet for the first time, when I tell them that I'm a Philosophy major is, "Oh cool. Why that course? What job can you get from that after you graduate?" I just smile and say, "Who knows?" The truth is, now that I've decided against going to law school, I really have no idea where this course will take me. But that's alright by me. After all, I wasn't in this ride for the destination. I was in it for the ride itself, and the experiences I'll have with it. That destination, that job, could come later.
And screw what people said about the humanities being dead, being useless in this era. I knew in my heart and soul that life without passion is not life worth living. A man with no passion is not a man, but a husk, a hollow shell of a man. He is alive, but he is not living.
And I knew that I did the right thing in choosing the humanities, choosing philosophy. I lived for sleepless nights making poetry. I lived for those intellectual headaches you'd get after reading a mindfucking book. I lived for seeing uniqueness in the world, in people, in our existence, in everyday life, in making the ordinary extraordinary. I lived for change, for everlasting impermanence. I lived for a never-ending pursuit of that sense of wonder, of feeling like a kid who marveled at the world.
So don't wonder why and how I chose Philosophy. The answer is simple. I am a true blue SOH kid.