My very first blog. Sorry, Im typing out loud. Technically, my brain is typing it's feelings. nobody is going to really read this. I mean, this whole page is so unprofessionally done. it's ok though. this is just a hobby for me. A place where I can write my stories. I've always wanted to write and i really dont know why i never pursued it. I did so many other things in life to earn money and none of them were my dream job. why? i have no clue. I wish I was ambitous. Whenever i see people going to school and pushing themselves to better their lives I stop and think to myself... what the fuck happened to me?! I think back and school really wasn't that bad. All I had to do was my homework, classwork, pay attention and the biggest most important thing was to show up. That's really where I failed. Through out my life I've had multiple jobs. none that I ever was happy with. I had the typical fast food drive thru job (that was cool cause I was like 16) I was a security officer at one point in my life (probably the most boring job in the world) I was also a bus driver (that was cool, but not something I wanted to do forever) I did the whole 6 month program to become a medical assistant. well let me tell you those assholes were just a waste of time and money. took another program, this time a free one. I got my Phlebotomy license, but nobody wants to give me a chance because I lack experience. I decided that since I have no kids I will volunteer to get experience, but I need more experience for that! the fuck?! I don't get it. maybe a few years ago I didn't really care about my career, and where life was taking me but now I'm engaged and want to have a nice wedding and live with him anywhere, (except his moms house. Ta' loca la vieja!...old lady is crazy!) and make my own money. I work as a waitress once a freakin week for the past 9 years. its ok money especially when I don't have rent to pay or kids, but I really want something where I can go in at 9 and be off at 5. I know... I'm not stupid or ignorant. I know that you gotta start from the bottom like everyone else to earn something that. what's wrong with me?! :'/ am I just lazy? probably. I'd like to blame my parents for not being Asian and pushing me to do my best. (please don't be offended by my poor choice of words. I know a lot of asians. I really appreciate the noodles they make. sooo good!) but i need to get it together. I'm young, no kids and I live in the USA where other kids from other countries come and do what I'm supposed to be doing. They take advantage of what I get for free. I'm just full of disappointments. I wish I could go back in time. I would do so many things differently, (school, work, family, and even not date the dudes I did) but if I did that then maybe I would't of met the most amazing man that I'm deeply in love with. (and if you watch Once Upon a Time, then you know changing the past will screw everything up. just saying.) I'm not a very religious person, (I mean, geez I curse like a chola...female version of a gangster. I like my herbs) but whatever God and I got going on is between me and him, but all I know is that I believe that he's had my life story written down way before I was born. Hey, I gotta believe in something, right? and if believing in him makes me more comfortable then I sure damn will. He would't put me through this struggle if he did't think I couldn't handle it. like my annoying sister says. let go and let God. wait I think thats how it goes. So, this is my first blog and quite honestly I enjoyed letting out all this drama. who's gonna read it? probably nobody. I mean, I don't blame them. poor grammar, punctuation esta para la chingada...is all fucked, but it's me. unless I'm writing a book then I don't really care about it.
I am awesome at giving advice when its asked for, but I'm terrible at taking my own advice and using it toward my life. I will try to give one type of advice at the end of every blog for those that could use it. Advice #1. YOLO. seriously, you only have one life so make the best of it. I'm not saying go and do all types of drugs and have unprotected sex. (which is probably super fun too) I mean, set a goal, reach it, but also have fun while working hard. it's awesome feeling accomplished when you're having fun...if that makes any sense =/
and please please please! don't bother with negative comments. They will be deleted. and if I know you, I might judge you in private but not in public so please refrain from embarrassing yourself here.
