⭐, because I want to hear about a section YOU really love and want to talk about
Hmm, let me talk about via dolorosa then!
I hesitated to write this because as much as I enjoyed the idea, I was still firmly on the “Let’s leave Tommy’s fate after the events of Dunkirk as open as possible” wave. At this point, I had figured that Tommy survives the war, but I didn’t want to commit myself to it haha. But I kept thinking about it and I didn’t want to stop thinking about this family, and so here we are.
One of the images that really kept me writing this--because I struggled with it at first--was this moment:
“Are you real?” Tommy says.
“I am in your head, mate. But your head isn’t your own.”
Tommy fights to breathe. When he speaks, he cannot raise his voice. His words are only a thin exhale.
Blake draws Tommy closer to his chest.
His would-be godfather holds tight onto him and prays, echoing the prayers that across the English channel, Tommy’s mother and sister would whisper before the candles at the Church of St Laurence. The sing-song words are soft and protective in which Tommy would bury his face and wrap around him, well-worn and well-loved. It is his blanket, or his shroud.
First off, I delighted in the King’s Cross-esque concept to it. “Of course this is all happening in your head, Harry, but why on earth should that mean that it isn’t real?” Like, just because you are experiencing something that others can’t see outside of your head, why should negate its realness? The real estate of our head is not our own--there is more than our imagination in our heads.
Tommy asking Tom Blake to pray for him was really poignant for me, and what sold this idea to me. The idea of Tom Blake musing that he could have been Tommy’s godfather if only he had survived really stuck with me, and this feeling of like, he still can be that for Tommy, even if it isn’t in this world. While I am not personally experienced in this doctrine, there is a reflection of how I interpret the communion of the saints--that is, that those who are dead are still capable and will pray for those who are living. That although Blake is dead, and has never met Tommy in person, he still has that connection to Tommy, a way to relate to Tommy and be there for him and love and care for him, and death cannot inhibit that love. When I considered giving up on this fic, this was what kept me going.
(Director’s Commentary Fanfic Edition!)
