#scourger au

[r3allywtf]

“I never loved anyone. Not in a long time. Even when I had it, I was alone.

Mine was different. Yours was too. Imperfect. But it was love. Mine was impure. Corrupt. But it was love.”

If y'all ask where the quoted dialogue is from, its a shortened and paraphrased paragraph that I made for this. Or poem. Idk if it counts as one but yeah.

[nonwal]

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

Chapters: 1/20 Fandom: Critical Role (Web Series) Rating: Explicit Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Essek Thelyss/Caleb Widogast Characters: Caleb Widogast, Essek Thelyss Additional Tags: Hurt/Comfort, Scourger Caleb Widogast, Angst, Demisexual Essek Thelyss, atypical modes of consent (see A/N), Internalized Acephobia, ongoing boundary negotiation, Touch Aversion, Trans Caleb Widogast, (via true polymorph—see A/N), Blow Jobs, Mutual Masturbation, Hand Jobs, Intercrural Sex, Frottage, Dildos, Rimming, Anal Fingering, Light BDSM, Under-negotiated Kink, Sub Drop, Safeword Use, Cuddling, Vomiting, Torture, Feeblemind Spell (Dungeons & Dragons), the horrors are endless but Bren stays silly :3, he's a decent guy if you ignore the atrocities Summary:

“You accused me of treating this like a game. I am sorry if I’ve led you to believe that it is only a game—though I won't deny that part of it is.” Bren gives a disarming smile. “My life is either games or murder, after all.” “Or mail fraud,” Thelyss says dryly, not even a little disarmed. “The mail fraud is a sort of game as well.” A sigh. “Is this your way of telling me that you intend to continue playing?” Bren smiles again, sharper. “If you would let me.”

(In which Bren Aldric Ermendrud decides to seduce the Shadowhand and finds that the best way to convince someone to be vulnerable with you is to be vulnerable in turn.)

so, funny story, I’ve written 100000 words since the beginning of the year,

[whumpwizard]

Whumptober2022 Day 16: No Way Out

Essek knew in his soul that this was it. That this was the end for him.  He would die here, in this room, a blade held to his throat as he lay beneath the man he thought he loved.  Caleb…Bren, the handsome Empire defector that he had taken in, and been taken by.  So clever and cunning, attributes that Essek should have seen as red flags from miles away.  He had been a fool, though, too enamoured by the man’s talent and too keen to fall for his honeyed words.  And this was how he was going to pay for it.

“You were a fool to let me in, Shadowhand…but you are aware of that now, ja?” Bren asked, the dagger still held against Essek’s throat. He nodded ever so slightly.  Bren just smiled.

“Are…are you going to kill me then, Caleb?” Essek asked. He rarely prayed to anyone, let alone the Luxon, but in this moment he hoped that using that name, the name Essek had called him by so many times before, would snap him out of this. He was wrong.

“Dummer kleiner crick.” Bren spat, pressing the blade harder into Essek’s skin. “Caleb is not real. He never was. He was a fiction, a creation for you to be enamoured by, to fall in love with so you became complacent…stupid.  Clever idea, hm?”

Essek could feel the tears start to well as Bren spoke.  It hurt most of all because he was right. Essek had fallen in love, and he had been stupid.  And he was going to be slaughtered in his own bed for it. And, to make it all worse? He knew that deep down a piece of him still loved Caleb.  Fictitious as he had been, Essek still wanted to beg for him back. Beg for things to go back to how they were, to forget this little standoff and just pretend it never happened.  Bren was right.  He was a fool.

“But now…for the fun part.” Bren whispered, getting close and leaning into Essek’s ear. He began to nibble and lick, just like he had when they’d had sex, and now the drow couldn’t help but cry. He just wanted Caleb back…his Caleb.  He was so lost in his longing, though, that he didn’t register as Bren’s words grew tinged with the intent of a spell. Barely had the strength to resist as he whispered again. “You will be mine, from this day forwards.  You will do as I say, without hesitation…”

Essek’s eyes went wide as the spell set in, tendrils of arcana twisting in his mind as he fell prey to Bren’s magic. He knew this spell, knew the feel of it and its effects.  Knew it by the sudden desire to do just as Bren had commanded. Geas.

He tried not to panic as he realized what had happened, what this meant, but his heaving breath and choking sobs were more than enough to alert Bren. The human just cupped Essek’s cheek, a cold, cruel facsimile of his old smile on his face.

“Fret not, Shadowhand. I have no intention of killing you.  No, I intend to keep you as my own…pet, we shall say, ja? A sweet little familiar for me to have.  You will not have to worry about such silly things as your Dynasty or your role under the Bright Queen.  You will be mine, until I grow bored of you.”

Essek wanted to shake his head, to scream, to say no or to run. But he knew the pain that Geas brought to those who resisted, and even thinking about it made his head begin to throb. All he could do was nod through the tears and the panic, and hope that Bren would show mercy.

“Good little crick. And do not fret too much about escape.” He said, pressing a soft kiss to Essek’s tear stained cheek. “No one’s coming for you. Not now, and not ever.”

[malaismere]

i was reading through some of my fics to find a thing and i discovered this bit from my Cobalt Soul!Caleb and Scourger!Beau AU

“What next?” Essek asks. “You’ve planned the rest of this out so well.”

“Next?” Bren asks. “We uncover the traitors and end the war. Simple, ja?”

“Well then,” Essek notes, the hint of a smile dancing at the corners of his own lips, “let’s get started.”

and holy shit??? the way this changes with the reveal. The set up for a long con between an Essek who met the M9 minus Beau and Caleb like thirty episodes early and has grown to love them and see their struggle and feel guilty, on the edge of calling things off but not having any way how other than revealing himself, playing a long con game with a charming and intelligent empire spy in the hopes of finally putting it to a close but knowing that even the slightest misstep or give and this man and his friends will damn him for all the bloodshed in his name?

i...i think i need to drag out this fic into a much longer story because Hot Damn do I want slow burn rival spy romance with all the cool worldbuilding and lore in the background like :oooo

[itsomgitsgreenblogging]

The Spider: A Critical Role Fanfic

For Day 3 of @essek-week I took the prompt Spy. This is a Vollstrecker!Bren AU, with a just slightly more lawful evil than neutral evil Essek. I absolutely love a Volstrecker!Bren AU, they are definitely my guilty pleasure. This is just my attempt to take a crack at it. 

I hope you enjoy!

Read the collection on AO3

Trigger warnings: mentions of torture, ambiguous but definitely implied murder

“You are an intelligent man, Shadowhand. Surely you understand what my masters offer you, a chance to study that which you find most interesting,” the shadowed figure said, feminine voice heavy with an accent belonging to only tenant farmers and idle noblemen. But of course she was a tenant farmer, after all the powerful never used their own to crawl between cracks and slit throats. They liked to keep their hands clean, a sentiment Essek never truly shared. After all, what was an achievement you didn’t earn by your own virtue? “It would be foolish to turn down this opportunity.” 

“And I also hear what your masters say about us from their high towers and in their studies, none of them too flattering. I am an intelligent man, but a vain one too I am afraid. I will not subject myself to working with those who clearly do not give me the respect I deserve,” Essek said, leaning his head upon his hand as he viewed the figure from where he sat at his desk. “I also must apologize in advance as well, for another one of my transgressions.” 

“And what is that?” the figure asked, voice icy and cold. 

“As Ludinas likes to say in his little secret meetings, a cold-hearted Crick like me is capable of many things. Killing a messenger is one of them,” Essek said with a sharp-toothed smile. 

The Dungeons of Penance were menacing at the best of times, but with the whole city under high alert, somehow it was made ever worse. He had been startled out of trance by a hard knocking at his door, and since then it had been a desperate flurry to try to get anywhere meaningful. Moving through Rosohna was a different sort of nightmare now and so by the time he reached the Dungeons he was almost relieved as he escaped the sight of green lanterns moving along the walkways like ghostly apparitions, while the beacons flickered their urgent message across the city. The streets had been dead silent for a long time, and only the roving Watch moved throughout the city like a many-headed beast from deep below ready for the kill. 

“Report,” Essek ordered as he met the five guards at the arch. The head guard nodded in deference before turning and keeping step with Essek’s glide. All of their shoes and armor clicked with the pace of their descent, the weight of their duty anchored them heavily to the ground. Essek remembered when a knobby-kneed Verin got his first suit of armor, and had scoffed at the display. On these men there was nothing to laugh about. 

“The Watch caught him outside the Skysybil’s home,” the guard explained as they walked the hallway of the Dungeon of Penance. “Thankfully she was at the Cathedral and was safe when the coordinated attack occurred. He was disguised as a drow, and attempted to cast some kind of charm magic. The lead guard of the Watch resisted the magic, and when he was struck with an attack the spell was dropped, revealing the attacker for what they were. After being subdued they were immediately brought here.” 

“I see, very well done,” Essek said pointedly in Undercommon with a prim nod before they arrived at the designated cell. There were two additional guards posted at the door, standing as dour monuments to the assassin's power. It wasn’t often they took one of these creatures alive, after all. “I shall go in and take stock of our new guest, make sure that they are comfortable.” 

He nodded at the guards who had accompanied him. The head guard then shifted and one other moved to join him, they motioned and the door was opened. Without any pomp and circumstance, Essek floated in to assess their unexpected gift. 

It was a human man. That didn’t surprise Essek, as most of the scourgers--the Empire’s pet assassin-spies that they caught tended to be humans. He was bound and muzzled according to regulation, hands behind his back and chained to the floor. He wasn't a large or physically intimidating human. The man instead looked at Essek expectantly. It was quite unlike the rabid struggling and spitting he had encountered with other scourgers. Though sometimes it was hard to tell with humans--they aged so quickly and were transitory creatures on the whole, Essek immediately got the impression that this one was older. Most of his face was obscured by the muzzle, and his hair color was covered by a layer of street-grime and dried blood on top of being cropped close to his scalp. But his eyes were a blue as calm, empty, and resigned as a vernal pool ready to disappear when the rains scattered to the wind.

Who are you? Essek wanted to ask the scourger. What backwater frost bitten village or city slum did they scrounge you up in? What gutters did you claw out of? What soldier barracks were you sprung from? When the people in Rexxentrum saw your potential, did you cower or bite the hand that fed you? 

It had to bite, Essek thought. From what little they knew about Scourgers they figured only the strong survived the process of being broken in. But an old one like this? He wondered if there was any personality left to be scraped from the inside of his skull. Perhaps the Assembly lobotomized their souls on top of their rational sense? It was funny to him how those who claimed to be on the side of civilization tended to be the ones who made themselves monstrous, they needed nothing but a miniscule push. 

“I must take the time to thank you,” Essek said, circling the scourger, taking a moment to catalogue him and his features. His ankle was twisted strangely.  One sleeve had been torn and it revealed a set of wicked looking scars criss crossing his wrists and forearms. His blood was an almost startling red against his fair skin, slick and dripping on the stone. He would have to have a guard clean that up. Magic users tended to get funny ideas when they had access to blood.  “You traveled a long way to be here, and I am certain we will learn so many new and interesting things.” 

The scourger remained staring forward, not stubbornly or angrily. His shoulders were loose and his neck was relaxed. The only inclination that Essek had that the man heard him was the slightest twitch of his head, as if Essek’s voice had surprised him. His common was good, though accented. It had been drilled into him by the best tutors that his denmother could afford.  His guest probably hadn't heard common yet from any of the Drow, or maybe he thought Drow were incapable of common courtesy. That was a sentiment that was unfortunately prevalent. It was a foolishness that made Essek laugh. 

“I am here simply to let you know of the conditions of your stay here,” Essek said as he took in the rumpled and disorganized plain clothes. Not meant to raise suspicions, Essek figured, but of course they did. The Xhorhassian cut was about twenty years out of style, an amateur mistake. This man was not an amateur. Had he wanted to be captured? Or had his masters simply underestimated the Kryn? Empire-folk did like to think themselves so clever, after all. He wouldn’t be surprised either way, but he would find out sooner or later. “I know you must be a busy man, so I shall not take up a big portion of your day then necessary.”    

The man didn’t make a sound, but Essek felt his eyes on him when Essek returned to stand before him. There were freckles scattered across his nose and forehead, a handsome furrow to his brow as if he were always deep in thought. The more he looked, the more certain he was of what kind of creature he was facing, and he relished the opportunity. 

“You will find me to be a fair man,” Essek said simply, pleasantly. “I believe in what I can see, and results that I can gather from hard work. I am interested in nothing but knowledge. It gives me no greater pleasure than to discover something that no one else has discovered before. I am sure that someone like you can understand that. I am a slave to the truth, I am afraid. And I am willing to do a good many things to discover the truth about anything I set my mind to.”

Essek could see the gears turning in the scourger’s brain, a small twitch of the brow and tensing of his arms. Of course, of course, Essek thought excitedly though his expression as always was eternally smooth and amiable. The scourger was looking for an angle to work, something to barter, something to scheme with. Give them an inch, they would take it a mile. Essek already knew what the scourger saw. Young, handsome, egotistical, with a chip on his shoulder and something to prove. Good, good. The game wouldn’t be fun if the other player didn’t play, and Essek was so ready to coax this spy into the trap. 

 “If you are compliant and what you tell me is the truth, I promise, your death shall be quick and painless. If not...well, truly I look forward to seeing what truths are teeming inside of you while I crack open your ribcage,” Essek said with a gentle smile. “I am excited for what we will discover together.” 

The scourger watched him, a light opening behind his blue eyes like a beacon uncovered. There was someone rattling around in the recesses of his mind, Essek would just have to see who it was that would peak out from the depths...what sort of monster would creep along Essek’s finely woven web.  Essek nodded at the guards before leaving the cell, the guards leaving behind him in order to guard his back. Once they had all exited the room and took a few steps away from the cell to be safe, Essek turned around to address the guards. 

“No food or water for at least two days, after that, two cups of water and a crust of bread until I say so,” Essek said in Undercommon. “We want him to settle in neatly.”  

“Yes, Lord Shadowhand.” 

“I’ll visit again on the third day along with a healer. We’ll have to heal him up before we break him in again otherwise the pain will be dulled and ineffectual,” Essek said. “Though I will want updates on his condition until then, especially if it looks like his health is taking a turn. I shall take a look at his belongings in the meantime and  see what we can find out about our little spider. I’m assuming someone will accompany me?” 

“Of course,” the head guard said, nodding to his fellows who saluted and then resumed their duties. “What do you expect to find? All we found were some general equipment and a few pieces of amber.”

“I expect to find everything,” Essek said as he began to glide once more. “After all, a wizard never leaves the house without his spellbook.” 

[r3allywtf]

Some “what if” designs ig.

I didn’t change Essek a ton but still

[r3allywtf]

My process??

The og post

[r3allywtf]

trying to commit to this au more

I wanna be experimental with Essek more.