#scribbles is tired

[scribbles97]

Just an FYI

If I reblog something of yours but don’t say anything or add tags please forgive me! Real life is draining me at the moment and as much as I want to rave about everyone’s wonderful work.

I kept telling myself I would reblog and add comments later but it just want happening. I would rather reblog and add nothing than say I’d do it later and forget.

[diaryofscribbs]

Scribbles is tired.

Tired of lots of things. Work is still insanely busy and we haven’t the staff. I’m essentially doing three peoples jobs. Management don’t think I’m working hard enough.

There is light at the end of the tunnel. We have more staff starting next week and I start a new job in January.

Not that that makes it any easier in the immediate term. It doesn’t change that right now I don’t think I could possibly get any more drained. Right now I’m not even sure I can feel anything other than just exhausted.

I’m tired and numb.

But this isn’t a cry for help. I don’t expect or want everyone to come running. I just need to get it out in words because otherwise it sits and festers in my head and in my chest and it HURTS.

[diaryofscribbs]

Scribbs Is Tired (Again)

Under the cut for Reasons

My family doesn’t get it... I tell them i’m tired and they just say go to bed and have a sleep. It’s not that sort of tired though. 

I’m tired of the global pandemic. 

I’m tired of my days off not being my own. 

I’m tired of work and people changing who they are to fit with higher management.

And I’m tired of not being able to reach out to my closest friends and give them a real actual hug instead of a smile and a wave over skype. 

I know I should be grateful, at least we have the internet and phones and everything, but you have to understand that it’s not the same right? It’s not the same as being able to go out and chat and have some fun. It’s not as personal. 

The only people I see right now are my family, my colleagues, and clients at work. To say none of them are the most huggy type is an understatement. I’ve been touch starved for years, I’ve always been the most huggy of my peers and always been the one most short of physical company. So being back in lockdown and being a hundred odd miles from any of my close friends is like the biggest stab in the gut. 

Nobody can do anything about it. I know that and I get that, and I’m not simply attention seeking saying all this. I just... I need to get it out there because it’s hurting so much and draining all my energy. 

It probably doesn’t help that I’m moving away in New Year, even further from friends and family. It’ll be good, it’s a fresh start new job, and hopefully a chance to make new friends. 

I still miss my old friends though. And i’m still sceptical about how easy it’s going to be to meet new people if there’s still this whole lockdown scenario. 

Things are all just stressful and hard right now.

Really all scribbles wants is an actual hug.