As you may have noticed, the previous so-called gossip blog that resembled a fourteen-year-old’s ‘hot or not’ MySpace page has recently shut down. And, lucky for you babydolls, that’s no coincidence. With a little help from one of the desperate com tech kids, the new and improved gossip blog is here for good.
Shout out to the kids that’ll do anything for a wink and a pout, you make the world go ‘round. Call me when your braces come off, you know who you are.
Let’s get down to the nitty gritty, shall we? We all know this school’s fucked up enough to give Father Joseph a heart attack in the confession booth. If we’re speaking honestly, not even Jesus can save us. Sorry Sister Agatha, we tried. And since we can’t rely on the confession booth without needing to confess to murdering Father Joseph with the story of how we drunk fucked our cousin over the weekend, you have me. Surprise, bitches.
The school needs a reality check, and I’m here to provide. I would say I’m the gift that keeps on giving, but I really don’t want to sound like the herpes Noah’s probably contracted from his dirty escapades. At least you’re cute, babe.
In short: you’ve gotten it easy so far. But that’s over now. The bitch is here, so I suggest you start sending in your gossip before I start snooping around. Because trust me, it won’t be pretty if I do.
