I forgot to share that i spilled milk on my computer so most of the keys arent working on it now. Waitinf on a replacement and doing most blogging from phone or with a virtual keyboard program until then :/
Thanksgiving is my least favorite holiday. I've always been knowledgeable of this holiday's history, which will make one weary outright. But I also have the joy of being the youngest in my family. Being the youngest of eight siblings, I get my fair share of ribbing- mostly because I'm not fond of the holiday food. I'm picky, sue me. But my siblings find other reasons to get to me if it's not my pickyness. So, I'm usually pretty quiet when this holiday rolls around. Now, don't get me wrong- I love my siblings. They just know how to pick a nerve sometimes. Now, whenever the toast comes around, it's always generic- "friends and family." or "my loved ones"
This year is the first thanksgiving where my answer could be genuine. Now, don't get me wrong- there's always something to be thankful for. But I'm usually too blinded by worries to acknowledge them, or I do, but I then stress about it sounding genuine. EDIT: adding a cut here because it gets kind of serious
This year is different. I've not told many, so this is as good a time as any to come clean that I've been struggling with some suicidal thoughts and depression issues. I've been seeking help and my family and my girlfriend have been wonderful in supporting me. These people know how truly thankful I am for all their support.
The thing that made me realize what would make this year different happened a few nights ago. When I told some of my friends from the fandom about this problem, they met me with nothing but support. They instantly quenched any worries and made me feel loved. They extended a hand in case I had a bad night, and I broke down crying. I was in awe of the love and support my friends offered. I had been so afraid of...I don't even know what anymore.
But what I know now is this- I am thankful for the support I have been given. The support from my wonderful friends, whom make me smile when I feel alone. The support from my girlfriend, who always lets me have a shoulder to cry on. And, as obnoxious as they can be, the support from my family- without them, I wouldn't be so brave as to seek help.