#scwc

[yesloulou]

For/inspired by so close, we combust by @officialmood 🎇 | graphics inspo via @thewintersoldier

[officialmood]

✰ NEW SHAPES: send me a fic and I’ll give you an alternate direction the fic could have gone!

so close we combust

fic ask game

oooo okay this was a hard one but I’m thinking about so close we combust in contrast to to clasp gold fading glow (the only fic title I can never remember) (thinking about this fic a lot bc I have a fan theory of my own fic that it’s in the same universe as in the grip of it)

SCWC is about Max and Daniel missing their chance at two different points in time — so what if that structure stayed the same but the roles were reversed?

so the first part is: Max and Daniel have been fooling around 2018 RB teammates era and Daniel, being older and having at least a little more perspective, realizes he’s actually in love with Max and tries to talk to Max about it. and it goes badly. Max wants to focus on racing, he knows his dad would freak out, etc. they break up.

then, years later, like let’s say 2023 when Daniel’s Red Bull’s third driver, Max tries it. he’s won his WDCs and grown up and feels ready for it this time. but Daniel can’t—not when he’s not on the grid and feeling so lost, like the idea of being a WAG when he wanted to be a WDC… so he turns Max down :(

(then the sequel would be them figuring it out once Daniel has his seat again 🥹)

[blog-of-tahuti]

Eager SCWC 2017 Ratatoskr

[officialmood]

dearest Liza, I was rereading I won’t learn my lesson and got curious about a detail. When they are going to the spa, Daniel says that max is on his phone for the entire ride. What was he doing? Panic texting Martjin? Reading a Reddit thread about getting over a guy you rejected/lifelong crush? The people want to know!!!!

aww hello beloved!! 💗

wow that’s such a good question. to be completely honest, I wrote i won’t learn my lesson so long ago that I have no idea what I was thinking lmao however let’s decide now!

this is right after they’re at the park talking about first dates and grand gestures, and right before their big fight at the sauna. Max is increasingly annoyed at Daniel throughout the day — all this old hurt from years ago has been brought back up, and Daniel is acting all hangdog like he’s not the one who rejected Max in the first place. and he just doesn’t want to talk to him so he’s literally finding anything to do on his phone to look distracted. probably backreading his team redline discord server. pretending to read his emails. composing a long text to his sister about how fucking stupid this day is that he ultimately doesn’t send because he can’t describe it correctly while he’s still so upset. and then later when they finally hook up, he’ll be glad he didn’t send the text to Victoria bc she already has a grudge against Daniel for how things went down years ago 🥰

[officialmood]

you didnt even reblog fanfic reader asks but i just needed to tell you:

What made me most emotional after reading: cheating here and saying 2 things:

part one of so close we combust (before it's resolved)! it hurts so good! the parallel! the timing not being right (yet) & not liking each other at the same time! kill me! (<- enjoying it :) )

your tumblr fic followup to mob au where they are making a life together and healing and exploring kink and trust… these are au versions of fictionalized versions of real athletes but the emotions and characters you created and they way you wrote about it just made me so tender and emotional. they deserve good things! part of me wants to ask for more but another more insane part of me is like "no they deserve their privacy, even from me, a voyeuristic reader." that's how real your writing is to me lmao ok fine im going to therapy about it.

omg you are tooooo kind thank you 😭😭🥹🥹 I love (hate) (am tormented by) relationships that just have bad timing, the grief for something you never got to have, especially when it’s like, your own inaction or fear that got in the way, even more than external circumstances (shout out the remains of the day!) my love of this trope plus the perfect prompt on the kinkmeme plus SZA releasing her perfect album SOS all conspired to bring me fully into f1 fandom…

ahhh and I would totally write more mob au!! I’m so attached to them and their dynamic more than any other version of those characters. fuck their privacy lmao 😇 maybe for the kinkmeme in october for inspiration!!

[officialmood]

woah the max pov of scwc blew my mind…. what a GOOD addition. poor max😭🥺 the part where he says daniel looked at him like he could hurt him; like he was a monster. the hurt was so palpable! and the tension!!! obsessed and i’m only okay bc i’ve read the sequel ❤️💀

thank you sooo much!! (about this) it’s so funny that I wrote something so sad for my first fic when I’m actually incapable of writing an unhappy ending… but being in schrödinger’s gay love with your friend is so compelling to me… for no reason whatsoever, as with everything I write it has nothing to do with me personally & I’m just picking these subjects out of a hat… anyway now that I already wrote the happy ending I can make it as sad as I want 🙂 and it’s fun to write about how Daniel comes across to Max compared to his perception of the events, like I think his memory in the original SCWC is kinder to himsef than Max’s… 🥲

[officialmood]

🔀 and maxiel or daniel/scotty (or max/daniel/scotty) whatever works best!!

F2F - SZA - I fuck him cuz I really miss you this album is forever so close, we combust to me, so here's Max POV of that scene! Max was going to try tonight. He had decided, fresh out of the shower and staring at himself in the mirror. He didn’t speak out loud because that would be stupid, but in his head he told himself he had to do it. He had to stop being a pussy. He had to know.

Sometimes when it was only him and Daniel together and they were laughing so hard they couldn’t speak and looking in each other’s eyes, Max was sure that if he leaned forward Daniel would meet him halfway. It would be so easy; it felt harder not to, like fighting the pressure of a resistance band looped around both of them, urging them together— but then Daniel would change the subject, and his chance would disappear.

Other times, when Daniel was joking with the engineers about something the girl he fucked the night before had said, it was like Max didn’t exist. So Max had to find out: which was true.

Daniel was in a good mood that night, because of the race and because someone had found him molly. A few times he put his arm around Max’s shoulders or elbowed him or grabbed his wrist, and he gave Max one of his pills right on his tongue so Max got to taste him for a second. No one else touched Max that much; a few of the engineers patted him on the back one time each.

At the club, though, he lost track of Daniel. He tried to have fun anyway without him, but it was hard not to look for him. Maybe Daniel already had left, so Max wouldn’t be able to do anything tonight, and he could live a little longer in the aching inbetween: not yes but also not no.

The molly made him restless, so he went into the crowd, pushing his way through just to do something with his body. He would have left, too, but he didn’t want to be alone yet. He found Daniel by accident, recognizing first the slant of his shoulders and reaching out to touch; the muscle felt good in his hand.

“Maxy!” Daniel said. He was sweaty and his shirt had become unbuttoned. Max glanced at the women he was with, but Daniel ignored them and hugged him instead, burying his face into his neck. When he said, “I got lost,” Max could feel his lips move. It had to be what Max hoped for, or nothing made any sense.

Daniel kept an arm around Max as they made their way back to the VIP section, his fingers drumming against Max’s collarbone, his armpit damp through both of their shirts. Daniel got them water and sat so close next to him that their arms overlapped. Max tried to talk to him about the race, but he could tell Daniel wasn’t listening— he was staring at Max’s mouth and his hands intently, his lips parted, his tongue peeking through. Max was getting hard.

“Can we— together, go to the hotel?” Max asked, feeling the flinch as he didn’t manage to ask the question that he should have.

“You want to go?” Daniel was still staring at Max’s mouth. They were close enough Max would barely have to lean. Then he said, “I'll call a car.”

Daniel led him back to his hotel room, but as soon as they were inside he was acting weird. Max sat on the couch, waiting, but Daniel was hiding his face in the little refrigerator like he couldn’t stand to look at Max. The pressure was so intense in Max’s chest he was having a hard time thinking. He put a hand on his sternum to make sure it was still there.

“Daniel,” he said, and his voice cracked horribly. Daniel’s head snapped up. “Come sit with me.” It wasn’t what he really wanted to say, but he could tell from Daniel’s face that he understood— and he was afraid. As if Max was a monster from a nightmare. Daniel had never looked at him like that before.

It was worse, much worse: the no, the knowing. Daniel scared of him, like he was driving them off the road, off a cliff. Like he had threatened Daniel, like he could hurt him and he would. It was so much he couldn’t speak; he only touched his chest again, hard enough so his wrist and palm hurt, too.

“I have to go to bed,” Daniel said, standing up awkwardly, grabbing his opposite elbows. Max felt himself nod and stand up, moving on autopilot, even though it made him feel lightheaded.

“But if you want to keep partying, hey, I bet the team’s still out, you could— there were a lot of pretty girls there. Get your dick wet.” Daniel was back at the refrigerator, rummaging around and dropping things. Like he didn’t want anything to do with Max— like he hadn’t had anything to do with it. Like he had never put his finger in Max’s mouth and, when Max bit down, told him to cover his teeth with his lips and laughed. Like he didn’t try to cheer Max up after every bad qualifying, run his fingers through his hair sometimes.

It made him so angry that even the pain burned away. He couldn’t stand— he couldn’t go, not without Daniel acknowledging— any of it. But he couldn’t think of what to say, either, that could capture it all. What finally came out of his mouth was, “Be nice.” At that Daniel looked at him, stricken, so then Max left.

Max spent his summer break fucking guys. He didn’t tell the first one that he never had before, but the guy didn’t say anything, so Max assumed he must have been okay. He didn’t like most of them, but some of them were hot or funny or at least touched him the way he wanted to be touched: a little rough, but like they really wanted him.

He came back from summer break and Daniel was the same as ever. Max waited for him to— he didn’t know. He thought maybe Daniel would notice, or would ask. That there would be something different about him. But Daniel was pretending none of it had happened, so after a while Max could almost believe it hadn’t.

[officialmood]

1. What fic of yours would you recommend to someone who had never read any of your work? (In other words, what do you think is the best introduction to your fics?)

21. If you wrote a “missing scene” in [literally any fic i'm so desperate for your content], what would it be?

49. What are you currently working on? Share a few lines if you’re up for it! (staccato panting to the beat of mahhh-feeeee-uhhhh)

1. I’m going to cheat and say so close, we combust THE SERIES, aka both the original and the sequel, because I think between the two of them it has everything I like to write: insane Red Bull marketing videos, the romance of sitting in the backseat of a car together, substance use, Italian food, indirect conversations, wandering around a city… virginity kink... 💀

21. I got this idea from @yesloulou - the morning after the 2018 section of one step closer, from 2018 Daniel’s perspective! He goes to sleep with Time Traveler Max thinking he's getting barbecue for breakfast, wakes up with his original Max— still Max, the Max that he fell in love with, but he lost this other Max! A potentially juicy weird kind of grief. Also, Max would be like, Daniel, of course it was me the entire time! Doesn't get it at all, unlike Daniel, who would be super jealous of the other Daniels (like in HG AU!!)

49. Ahhh my feel-bad Sopranos-inspired mob AU that will never end (I just checked and I've been working on it a month... I'm so dramatic 😭). Here's a snippet, basic context is Daniel's in the mob and hired Max to make a website for his store (which is basically a front):

When Max came in, Daniel knew it must be him, even though he was buff for a geek, and tall. Well, the laptop he was carrying gave it away, mostly, but he had the vibe of the voice on the phone. Steady.

“Are you— did you call me?” Max asked, and Daniel realized he never said his name. The kid still showed up, random phone call out of nowhere and he showed up. Different world. “Ricky?” he asked.

“Daniel,” he said, standing up from his chair behind the counter. Max walked up to him, held out his hand to shake. “Daniel Ricciardo,” he finished.

“You needed a website,” Max supplied. “For here?” He looked around the store, appraising. Daniel saw it through his eyes, like, who would want to buy any of this junk online, who would buy this junk period if they didn’t have sunstroke and their annoying kid was making them?

“Mostly for, well, I have some t-shirts, my own designs.” He nodded his head to the racks of them, the corner he had set up. A few were in the window display, not too many because the whole thing annoyed Chris. 

“Can I?” Max asked, pointing. Daniel nodded. He watched Max examine the shirts, sliding them along the rack. He had long fingers, moved them carefully. Precisely. “They’re really cool,” he said, after his silent examination. Daniel stared at him but he just stared back. Earnest.

“Cool,” said Daniel. Not that it mattered what the kid thought of him. “So how do we do this?”