#sdjfals

[theskyexists]

How do they manage to make iceskating suspenseful? And you’re hooked??? even though you’ve essentially seen these programs before? the internal monologues.....and the MASTERFUL BUILDING OF SUSPENSE

[heartbreakingdaydreams]

Its hard for someone to accept the attention they're being given, when all their life they have been just a shadow to the crowd

First of all I want to wish any of you who chose to read this a Merry Christmas. I doubt anyone will because well this is usually where I just talk to myself to keep myself sane. But anyway.

Im not anything special.

I don't get attention. I don't have a lot of friends. Guys don't talk to me. I'm basically a nobody. It makes sense I'm on the internet for a reason right. 

Anyway that's not the point. The point is recently idk. I have friends like friends that want to hang out with me. Friends that talk to me on a regular basic. It's not just my regular two bestfriends though. Its like a group of people and that scares me. Scares me because when did this happen and maybe they just are pretending to like me. Im not used to having friends. I'm annoying and I don't want to lose my friends.

Also when do I ever get attention from the male species. Like any type of attention. I've never had a boyfriend, I never really had any guy friends, hell I've never even basically spoke to guys regularly. Now.. well I have friends that are guys. And they talk to me. And they like my pictures and that's just weird. It's weird seeing a lot of guys like my picture on instagram or facebook because this doesn't happen. It's weird finding out a guy think i'm cute or my friend used to like me. It's like weird but not in a bad way. In a way like this can't be true because this is happening yet I still hate myself. I"m so insecure about myself even when I try no to be. Its getting better though. But it's like how can i expect a guy to like me if I can't even like myself. This shouldn't be a big deal.. but it is to me. Because its hard going through being just the background to everyone's day to day life, to actually living in the life they live.